La mansión de los Cthulhu

Right, well I stumbled upon the 1992 movie "Cthulhu Mansion" (aka "La mansión de los Cthulhu") here in 2021. I had never heard about the movie before, but being a huge Lovecraft fan, of course I was instantly and immediately drawn to the movie and rushed to give it a watch.

And let me just say, perfectly clear, that this movie has nothing, and I mean that literally, nothing to do with Lovecraft or the Cthulhu mythos. Sure, it uses the name Cthulhu in the movie; it is seen on a book and over the gate leading to the house. But that is where the connection ends.

The storyline is not even remotely Lovecraftian in spirit, essence or atmosphere. This was, in all its simplicity, a mere average early 1990s horror movie, though it felt more like a late 1980s one, to be bluntly honest.

In fact the storyline was actually not all that bad, if you look at the movie with eyes that are not blinded with the hopes of it being a Lovecraftian movie. It was an archetypical horror movie from the early 1990s, for better or worse. So you know what you are getting yourself into here, if you are familiar with the horror genre from that period of time.

The acting in the movie was adequate, though you should not be expecting any grand Shakespearian performances. And taking the movie's limited script and storyline into consideration, I think the actors and actresses actually managed to fare well enough.

But for a horror movie, then "Cthulhu Mansion" was just too bland, bordering on being boring actually. Nothing scary was to be seen anywhere throughout the course of the entire movie. Or perhaps I am just jaded from a life-time exposure to the horror genre.

Visually then "Cthulhu Mansion" was actually adequate. There were some nice enough special effects in the movie, taking the age of the movie into consideration.

If you are looking for a proper Lovecraftian movie, then "Cthulhu Mansion" is not the movie you should sit down to watch.

My rating of "Cthulhu Mansion" settles on a mere three out of ten stars. Mostly because it was not a Lovecraftian movie, but also because the movie's storyline was just too scrambled, erratic and was lacking a proper red thread.

I'm a big Lovecraft fan, trouble is very few movies based on his works are even remotely loyal and this right here isn't either.

In fact the movie has absolutely nothing to do with Cthulhu, at all! A gang take the wrong people hostage and all hell breaks lose, nothing original here but nothing too offensive or clichéd either.

Sadly the movie falls apart at the end which is a shame because with a decent finale it wouldn't have been "That" bad.

I was astounded how low it's IMDb rating was and can confidently say it doesn't deserve it. It's not great, but it isn't terrible either.

If you want a decent movie based on Lovecrafts works then, well you're kind of out of luck as I'm not sure I've seen one. Necronomican (1993) isn't awful I suppose.

If I were to make a Cthulhu movie you know what I'd have in it? CTHULHU! I'd make him all big and scary and resist the urge to use his tentacles inappropriately! I've watched a bit too much Japanese anime lately, if they ever make a Cthulhu movie it'll involve school girls and a definite R rating.

I love B horror films, so I was expecting something that would at least make me laugh or perhaps keep my interest for an hour and a half. This movie was not even close to accomplishing either of those tasks. It amazes me how a production can be so bad in so many ways. There isn't a thing about this movie that makes it worth watching. The acting is bad, and not in a funny way. The actors look bored half the time. It's total s***. Why is it that these productions fail to live up to the standard of high school theatre? The plot is also garbage. The only thing borrowed from Lovecraft is the Cthulhu nomenclature. I mean, what does this movie even have to do with the Cthulhu mythos? Answer: absolutely nothing. The dialogue is so repetitive and inane... not even a bit of humour in it. The characters are also pretty flat. There wasn't a single one I cared about by the end of this monstrosity. The F/X (all 35 seconds of them) are also pretty bad. Again, not funny bad; just plain moronic.

The bottom line: I bought this from a local movie store (used) for $1. I should have bought a can of Pepsi, or played 4 games of Space Invaders. I am fanatical about bad trash cinema, especially horror, but I can't find a use for this thing at all. Bypass with extreme prejudice.

Don't go into this one expecting even a remote trace of Lovecraftian horror ...you won't find it. The only HPL connection to this screwball effort is the word Cthulu ...the word, not the idea, not the god, not the atmosphere or anything else. Just the word. One can't necessarily expect the actors of a movie like this to be top notch (though Jeffrey Combs of some other HPL-based films is certainly the exception), but in Cthulu Mansion you feel like you should be watching something recorded by teenagers on a digital camera. The film's dialog consists solely of clichés ...an hour and a half worth of clichés: imagine that! The lead bad guy is named Hawk (which wouldn't be funny even if this were a satire of trashy horror), and the characters so lack originality and human-ness that you'll find yourself wondering aloud, "What was going through the actor's mind when he/she was performing this scene?" Seemingly absolutely nothing. The killings are mild (the blood-shower drowning was cool but too good for this film) or stupid (the 1950s monster hands coming out of the refrigerator ...come on!), and the only genuinely positive thing I can say about the entire mess was that the mansion used here would be great in a better film. I so wanted this to be a better movie. The cover at the video store, the fact that it was Spanish and claimed to be based off of Lovecraft, all pointed to something awesome ...but I was horribly deceived.

First of all don't rent or buy this movie if you expect something that's based on the works of Lovecraft, the only thing it borrowed from Lovecraft is the fact that they used the name Cthulhu a few times on a few old scrolls and that's all. They don't even mention it through out, i'm not trying to rip on this movie since it's just an slightly enjoyable cheesefest. And i didn't hate it, in other words they only used the name Cthulhu to cash in on the works of Lovecraft which is low if you ask me. Cthulhu's Mansion is all about a gang of unlikable criminal youths who unleash an evil force inside the house of an elderly magician and his daughter and assistent which they took hostage because of an failed drug deal, and like you would expect some of the character dissapear due to all kind of eerie unexplained entities. Like a girl who gets grabbed by an unseen creature which hides in an refrigurator, if you enjoy 80's cheese this one's for you.