Beach Babes from Beyond

Three bubble brained space bimbos decide to visit Earth. They do so by crash-landing their spaceship in California, where they meet three surfer dudes, who for once, aren't totally unlikeable.

All this... action is interspersed with typical boring softcore sex scenes. These scenes could have been borrowed from any other '90s softcore flick and you wouldn't even notice. Some of them don't even seem to feature any of the characters, just random b-actors, ie. out of work male fitness models, and women with breasts that look like they're made out of plaster.

At least with softcore flicks like this one, I know I can stop paying attention during the sex scenes without missing anything, because they always go on a while.

One of the space-babes proves her extraterrestrial origins by pulling a net off her unconvincing 'spaceship', convincing the surfer dude instantly. The dude apparently didn't notice this large vehicle was right there on his right - surprising, considering the net the bimbo pulls off of it is nowhere near large enough to keep it concealed; there is no possible way he couldn't have noticed it.

Linnea Quigley is also in there, as a lady who knows a photographer and hangs around a mansion. She ties one of the girls up, for some reason.

I guess it wouldn't be a b-movie set on the beach without a musical number that just goes on forever. This might be a rarity in that the band is made up of bikini babes as well, indistinguishable from the ones dancing on stage. The awful song drones on for what seems like forever, but there is surprise nudity at the end.

"Beach Babes from Beyond" was directed by David DeCoteau, a b-movie maven who produced a bunch of enjoyable exploitation flicks in the '80s before turning his hand to increasingly homoerotic, mass profuced fair in the new millennium. He is now famous for the awfulness of his contemporary material - which makes "Beach Babes" look capable by comparison - and the fact that all of his movies feature young men in their underwear.

"Beach Babes" is unfortunately not even one of the better of his early period. Perhaps, when this was produced, his best years were already behind him, but he hadn't found a market for his homoerotica yet.

I recently watched Beach Babes from Beyond (1993) on Prime. The story centers on a group of alien young ladies who crash their fathers' spacecraft on Earth in California while out for a cruise. They meet some young men facing eviction, and the ladies offer to help the boys keep their house in exchange for assistance in getting back home.

This movie is directed by David DeCoteau (Puppetmaster III) and stars Joe Estevez (The Roller Blade Seven), Don Swayze (Evasive Action), Linnea Quigley (The Return of the Living Dead), Joey Travolta (Beverly Hills Cop III), Jackie Stallone (The Appointment) and Burt Ward (Batman).

This movie essentially falls into the softcore porn category, with extended, awkward sex scenes. It's filled with full-frontal nudity, classic softcore background music, and an enticing shower scene during the opening credits. The storyline attempts to mimic the feel-good 80s comedies but primarily serves as a pretext for sexual encounters. The sex scenes are drawn out and may leave even the actors feeling uncomfortable. While the outfits are well chosen, the final "fundraising scene" drags on awkwardly and feels like a poorly executed 90s late-night music video.

In conclusion, this movie is not recommended unless you're specifically seeking a softcore porno film. I would rate this a 3/10 and suggest it only if you have the right expectations.

What a cast this movie has! Estevez! Stallone! Swayze! Travolta! Especially surprising given this is a micro budget beach movie. Oh wait...wait...my researchers have just handed me a piece of paper - the actual cast is Joe Estevez, Jackie Stallone, Don Swayze and Joey Travolta....does that still count? Linnea Quigley's in in as well, does that make up for this? Well, I'll let you decide. Its about a trio of alien babes who arrive on a Californian beach and a whole bunch of barely interesting things follow. Its also worth mentioning that this one also features a knuckle-headed beach band who play a song called 'I've Got a Woody'.

Patrick Swayze's BROTHER??? Charlie Sheen's UNCLE??? Sylvester Stallone's MOTHER??? John Travolta's BROTHER??? Batman's SIDEKICK??? What's not to love? All we need is Clint Howard, LaToya Jackson, and Ron Reagan to make it perfect.

Watched this for the funny casting. I did chuckle quite a bit at the thought of the advertising posters for this clunker. Stallone, Swayze, Travolta, Estevez!

However, the film is terrible. It consists of a handful of scenes, some of which are stretched out to 10+ minutes. Take away the soft-porn sex scenes and 'extras dancing at a beach party' scenes, and you're left with about 15 minutes of film.

Estevez is actually not too bad as the beach bum uncle. The rest of the cast were awful.