Sakura Killers

SAKURA KILLERS (1+ outta 5 stars) Maybe in 1987 this movie might have seemed cool... if you had never ever seen a *good* ninja movie. Cheesy '80s music... cheesy dialogue... cheesy acting... and way-beyond-cheesy martial arts sequences. The coolest scene is at the beginning... with an aged Chuck Connors playing golf on a beach... several black clad ninjas try to sneak up on him and it looks like he is too intent on hitting his ball to notice... suddenly he reaches into his golf bag and... naw, I won't spoil it for you... if you ever have the misfortune of seeing this movie you'll thank me. The story is a lot of nonsense about some stolen videotape or something. A bunch of dim-bulb Caucasian heroes are trained in the ways the ninja because "only a ninja can fight a ninja" or something like that. Strange, these guys don't seem to fight any better after their training than before... oh well, the movie does move along pretty briskly. The fight scenes may not be great.. but they are plentiful... and the overdone sound effects are good for a few chuckles.

This movie's one of my favorites. It's not really any good, but it's great to laugh at. The dialogue can become incredibly ludicrous and poorly acted (eg, "Manji, can we ask you a few questions?" "Sure." "We think you can help us with the answers.") Any fighting is more or less surrealistic. Make sure to watch for Brock, the oafy white guy who attacks the main characters. He only has two lines, but he's one of the best guys in the movie!

I personally love this film. I have seen it at least 150 times. Five times in one day once. Almost impossible to find now, I bought it used in 1991 from a video store which has long since closed. But don't bother picking it up if you should come across a copy of it. I'm sure you will be very disappointed.

Oh yes, Sakura Killers is a goofy, horrible ninja movie, make no mistake. But it's also an incredibly enjoyable one. This is largely thanks to the awesome presence of one Chuck Connors, who is billed as starring in the movie but really only shines in a few scenes. I suppose he's supposed to be sort of an Obi Wan Kenobi type ("The tough ninja-buster", the box copy exclaims) but his 'wisdom' is laughable. "Move without thinking"??? My friend says this is the sign of mental retardation, not of supreme concentration.

But really, his two aides, Sonny and Dennis, have such horrible dialogue that 'Brooklyn', as we call The Colonel, tends to shine in comparison. Especially watch for Dennis' logic regarding the 'genetic splicing' the Sakura are involved with. If you know anything about cloning you will die laughing. And yes, this is a major plot point, folks.

A terribly fun movie, Sakura Killers is a hard-to-find gem. I won't spoil the 'trick' ending for you either, except that it's a perfect set up for a Sakura Killers 2. Too bad Chuck Connors died. :-( Because he does have a the smoothest ways of blowing away ninjas.

My review was written in May 1987 after watching the film on Key Video cassette.

An okay martial arts picture, "Sakura Killers" is a bit schizophrenic in that it consists of two separate sets of footage, shot by different filmmakers in Taiwan and the U. S., joined together in a convincing whole.

Chuck Connors is featured in the U. S. shoot (written and directed by Dusty Nelson), wearing his old Brooklyn Dodgers warmup jacket while fiddling with a modern version of his rifle (not the trademark flip-cocking model of his "The Rifleman" tv series). He sends Mike Kelly and George Nichols on a mission to Taiwan to retrieve a stolen videotape of genetic engineering experiments, lifted from a secret scientific installation by ninjas.

Athletic team of Kelly & Nichols discover that a Japanese organization of Sakura killers is behind the action and planning to sell the U. S. secrets to the Soviets. Fortunately, the Yanks get intensive training from a martial arts master.

Action scenes are well done, though the usual exaggeration of sound effects detracts. William Scott's energetic musical score is a plus, as are several attractive women in the cast. Sound recording for the U. S. footage is fine, but the post-synching of the Taiwan segments is crude. My review was written in May 1987 after watching the film on Key Video cassette.

An okay martial arts picture, "Sakura Killers" is a bit schizophrenic in that it consists of two separate sets of footage, shot by different filmmakers in Taiwan and the U. S., joined together in a convincing whole.

Chuck Connors is featured in the U. S. shoot (written and directed by Dusty Nelson), wearing his old Brooklyn Dodgers warmup jacket while fiddling with a modern version of his rifle (not the trademark flip-cocking model of his "The Rifleman" tv series). He sends Mike Kelly and George Nichols on a mission to Taiwan to retrieve a stolen videotape of genetic engineering experiments, lifted from a secret scientific installation by ninjas.

Athletic team of Kelly & Nichols discover that a Japanese organization of Sakura killers is behind the action and planning to sell the U. S. secrets to the Soviets. Fortunately, the Yanks get intensive training from a martial arts master.

Action scenes are well done, though the usual exaggeration of sound effects detracts. William Scott's energetic musical score is a plus, as are several attractive women in the cast. Sound recording for the U. S. footage is fine, but the post-synching of the Taiwan segments is crude.