Moon in Scorpio

A dangerous lunatic escapes from a hospital, killing a doctor and a salesman in the process. Worried about a potential scandal, the hospital hires private investigator Richard Vargas (Don Scribner, who looks like Christian Bale) to find the missing patient. The investigation leads to a yacht where the only passenger, a catatonic woman (Britt Ekland), stabs Vargas in the stomach.

A few days later, the woman, Linda -- now in hospital and a little more lucid -- explains to Dr. Khorda (Robert Quarry) the events leading up the disappearance of her fellow passengers: her newlywed husband Allen (John Phillip Law), his wartime buddies Burt (William Smith) and Mark (Louis Van Bergen), and their girlfriends Claire (Jillian Kesner) and Isabel (April Wayne).

When a film clearly isn't working, at what point do you call it a day, cut your losses, and shelve the whole thing? In the case of Moon In Scorpio, not soon enough. Not happy with their movie, the producers tried to salvage something from director Gray Gravers original cut by re-editing it, turning it from what was apparently originally intended to be a supernatural horror into a cheesy slasher. It didn't help: the film is still incredibly bad.

The direction is about what you might expect from a porn film-maker like Graver, but one would hope for more than porn-level acting from the cast: sadly, the usually reliable Smith is seriously off-form, and both Law and Ekland prove that it was looks and not talent that got them noticed in the first place. Kesner and Wayne were obviously hired for their bodies and a willingness to flash their boobs when asked.

Whoever re-edited this garbage had an unenviable task, but failed to rise to the occasion, the final film an incoherent mess that should have been consigned to the trash. Ekland provides a voiceover to try and help explain matters, but it doesn't help any: half the time, the actress is merely describing exactly what is happening on screen ("Alan tried to strangle me"... WE KNOW!).

Perhaps if the killings had been more creative and gorier, the film might have been bearable, but the deaths are unimaginative, repetitive, and not all that splattery (I've had bloodier paper cuts than some of them). The killer's spiky glove weapon with retractable barbs is certainly unique, but isn't put to good use.

1.5/10, rounded up to 2 for the gratuitous bare breasts, and the wholly unconvincing Vietnam war scenes -- dense jungle has never looked so much like the local park.

Well, the video box was nice. The color is primarily blue, a dusk or night scene of a ship with tattered sails, clouds suggesting the form of a skull, and the shadowy shape of a giant scorpion rippling in the water. The movie's title on the front and back covers and both spines is embossed. The ship on the front cover, and a detail of the scorpion on the back cover are similarly raised.

According to the director's website, Moon in Scorpio is a "supernatural thriller set on the high seas with a vampire and astrological plot involving several decadent characters was re-edited many times by the producers." The producers must have reedited it, because it was not supernatural at all, nor was there a vampire. The plot didn't seem astrological, though one of the characters says about four times that the "Moon is in Scorpio" which she explains as being a time of fear, retribution, etc.

Reediting might also be to blame for the movie's structure. It begins (and ends) with a shot of a ship bobbing with its sails down. From there, someone kills a doctor, and then kills someone in the hospital's parking garage, stealing his car. Then, the hospital hires someone to find the killer. He winds up on the ship where he gets killed by the only woman they find on board. The woman is hospitalized and she tells her story of how she came to be the only person left on the ship.

She and her husband are going on their honeymoon. They are joining two other couples on a ship. The three men had been in Vietnam together. There are some stock footage clips of Vietnam, and we also see them there. At one point, one of them seems to struggle with a gristly skeleton in water. Perhaps that was part of the supernatural plot that got dropped?

A man in the harbor gets killed by someone dressed in black, by an odd spiked weapon. Later, people on the ship get killed by an odd spiked weapon worn on a hand or by a spear-gun and pushed overboard. At no point do people know there is a killer on-board, until there is only the killer and the survivor left. Throughout this back-story, the survivor breaks in as a narrator, often repeating things we just saw and heard.

The ending is quite bad, as a hospital official ushers the survivor out, suggesting she might be able to get married again sometime to have the kids she wants. The ending might also have suffered as a result of reediting.

Not recommended, unless a director's cut comes out in which case this might deserve a second look, maybe.

Whilst this movie awful, it is a superb vehicle for showing off Britt Ekland's horrendous acting, which is far more frightening than any of the murders. Terrible, but unfortunately no where near the worst movie I've seen.

Definitely the worst film I have seen. Although i haven't seen 'Manos hands of fate' or 'Gigli' yet, I can say for sure that this film belongs down with them. It seems like the director has tried to make every scene dramatic and creepy, resulting in no build-ups or pauses, no sense of flow in the story, just a 1½ hour boring/embarrassing goo of silly murder scenes and pointless dialogues. Finally, I don't think there's reason why it's called 'Moon In Scorpio'. There's one really stupid scene (which is supposed to be thoughtful), where Gary Graver squeezes in the title in Britt Eklands dialogue, but it makes no sense at all...

1/10 for some 'so bad it's good'-scenes

Newlyweds Allen (John Philip Law) and Linda (Britt Ekland) spend their honeymoon sailing to Mexico on a boat. Along for the trip are two of Allen's old Vietnam buddies - Burt (William Smith) and Mark (Lewis Van Bergen) - and their respective girlfriends. The bad news is one of these folks is a psycho who just escaped from a mental asylum and has been going around stabbing folks. I wasn't quite sure where to put this review, but I guess the "horror" thread works due to the multiple throat slashing. This VHS was purchased solely for the great cover art and that is easily the best thing about this flick. Director Gary Graver took a break from porn to make this thriller. He assembled a decent cast, but doesn't know what the heck to do with them. The story is told via flashback (Linda talking to a doctor played by Robert Quarry) and you'll get confused right away as the asylum breakout is shown before Linda is discovered and telling her story. This results in a total mess that comes off feeling like two movies edited into one at points.