Killer Workout

Now this director knows how to sell sleaziness.Still a far cry from the Italian sleazy gialli but more than enough to give this bad movie the spice that it needs.Let there be no doubt about it.This movie is bad.Real bad.No,not the Michael Jackson kind.I mean it could be considered awful.But it is so bad and awful that it is good.I mean I laughed almost throughout.It went from one hilarious scene to another.Which was intensified by the fact that everything was taken seriously by director and the actors.Resulting in a parody of the slasher genre without intending it to be.Pay special attention to the detective who thinks of himself as a hard boiled and intelligent cop who is amazingly stupid.There is not one moment in the film where you can look at him in action and say now that is some fine acting.Not a hint of damn,"I got to pay the bills that is why I am in this rotten movie".On top of that the director tries to make a film that combines all the Eighties goodness or badness whatever you prefer resulting in something that I could describe as one huge mistake. Slasher,kungfu flick,crime film,flashdance type film,you name it is there.And of course enough crotch and boob shots to please the people who like that sort of thing.Who me?I can't deny giggling at some of the gratuitous shots made.It was like,"we are serious film makers trying to film scenes where serious actresses portray some difficult exercises and these are so difficult in fact that the camera has trouble recording them so we have to zoom in to spots we know very well to get back on the right track.Well,we got lost a lot of times."Or some other excuse like this.OK,I admit it I was expecting these shots and thank god they were there.Otherwise the film would not have been nearly as entertaining as it was.Do I really need to explain to you why Killer Workout is not a proper slasher or horror film? Even when there was enough present to come close.From start till the ending you will be entertained by the randomness of the events and more so when the killer and the motive is revealed.It is beyond ridiculous.But it won't matter much since you had fun for 90 minutes.

Widely hated by moviegoers and horror fanatics alike, the years have given this cheesy slasher film a certain charm. While it's obviously hampered by the low budget (it's one of those films where the producer/director/actor are all the same person), the cult appeal of this atrocious film is such that I found myself having a great time while watching it.

The acting is bad all around, with the possible exception of the actor playing the cop Morgan, who overacts a bit and chews the scenery in a fun way (at least this variety of 'acting' is better than standing around and delivering leaden lines straight off the cue card). The killer kills people with a giant safety pin, which gives you some idea of the ingenuity of this film (the cleverest thing is the title AEROBICIDE). The '80s pop music soon grates heavily on the viewer's nerves while the point-of-view killer shots are stolen from HALLOWEEN (as per usual), and basically have been copied far too often to be effective anymore. The camera dwells on the girls in the aerobics classes far too long, and works the other way too when focusing on muscular young men. Add the fact that they're all dressed in hideous '80s clothes and you'll be ripping your own eyes out to try and stop the torment.

As you can imagine, this film is pretty dire, full of bland actors, characters who you don't give a damn about, and the murders aren't even particularly gory. So why did I enjoy it? It's difficult to say really apart from the fact that as everything was so bad it all became one big comedy and, in a way, one of those 'so-bad-it's-good' kind of films. Saying that, you probably need a high tolerance level to be able to sit through a film like this… or maybe, like me, you're just a glutton for punishment!

Best described as a cross between a splatter movie and a CHER fitness video (!), AEROBICIDE (as it's known in the UK) tells the tale of a psychopathic nut that is killing the members of a fitness class one by one with a giant safety pin! (But that's where the originality ends believe me!)

The plot opens with a gruesome accident, which is possibly the flick's only highlight. A young girl is tanning in a sun bed, when all of a sudden it malfunctions and locks together, causing the hapless and unsuspecting victim to get, well just a little bit over tanned! Sadly from here the plot goes downhill drastically!

We are now introduced to Rhonda (Marcia Karr) the grumpy owner of a gym and a group of happy go lucky fitness fanatics who 'work out' to music that words can barely describe. I suppose you could call it a mix of eighties bubble gum pop with a large helping of mature cheddar cheese, but to be honest i dont think this music has got a genre of it's own. It's a new style! Check these lyrics out for instance: "She's a knockout, you better watch out, She'll take you out"... Hardly Leiber and Stoller is it! Anyway back to the aerobics class who manage to stay smiling and working out throughout the whole film, even after 11 bodies have been found mutilated in their gym! I honestly thought that even if only one person got murdered in a public leisure centre the police would close it down to investigate, but certainly not at this one! While the coroner raps the corpses in body bags, the class boogies away without a care in the world or even the slightest mention of the recent brutal murders! What a brave bunch!

Now I know it's customary in a slasher movie to show the odd bit of T&A, but KILLER WORKOUT manages to completely pad the film full of it! There must be twenty or more female characters in the film and I can't remember any of them except for one wearing any more than a leotard! And they even try to justify this by an insane twist in the story! Director Prior does his best to keep a bit of cleavage in every shot including most of the murder scenes.

It does not take long for the unseen killer to get hastily back to work, armed with a giant safety pin! At least they thought of an original weapon, even though a pin is hardly the most terrifying thing in the world! One thing this movie does have going for it is a massive bodycount, 13 to be exact; but even if a hundred people got killed I dont think that this could be any better. I'm afraid KILLER WORKOUT is a real wet turkey! The acting is terrible as you might imagine, and the whole thing can't help but feel rushed and put together with minimal thought.

Another great 'cheese point' of the flick comes in one or two fist fights that are down right hilarious. In one of them private investigator 'Chuck Dawson' (Ted Prior) and another goon 'Jim Callick' (Fritz Matthews) scrap it out for a couple of minutes , non stop punching each other flat out in the face! When the brawl ends, neither of them is even slightly marked! Maybe they're cyborgs! Another classic is the second murder scene. A girl in the shower gets repeatedly stabbed by the giant safety pin, Michael Myers style. As the camera reels away to show us the victim dying, she hasn't got a scratch on her either...it's unbelievable! You are just spoilt for cheesy moments in this film; check out the bit where one of the aerobics girls takes Chuck back to her house. She tells him to wait outside while she gets changed. He makes a ten second phone call and then she reappears completely changed! Even Superman's phonebox fanatics would have a job to beat that!

KILLER WORKOUT is a bad movie. It was obviously made on the smallest budget imaginable, which is probably why it's so terrible. But I must admit it brought a smile to my face on a few occasions! Depending on how you take your eighties horror movies KILLER WORKOUT could be the gem you're looking for. It's certainly big on laughs (not to mention hair!) But those of you who truly watch horror films to be scared will end up disappointed!

Note: also released under the title Killer Workout.

What an absolute masterpiece of So Bad It's Good filmmaking. Nothing makes sense. The acting is atrocious. The breasts are gratuitous. The main cop doesn't say a word for ages, then when he opens his mouth and you hear his ridiculous voice, you realise why. There's a fight scene that's like a cross between the ones in They Live (1988) and Hobgoblins (1988). I mean…

It's a slasher film. It's set in a gym. It was made in 1987. I don't want to spoil it by saying anything else.

Verdict: Track it down, order a pizza, and enjoy.

Everyone should see Aerobicide (as it is known in England), everything about it is bad therefore, it's good! It's better than good; the gratuitous nudity, the gratuitous close ups of women in lycra, the dumb death scenes, shockingly bad production and acting values, it's a work of suppressed genius! One of the all time great so bad they're good movies every passing minute is a work of art. Top stuff.