Sorority House Massacre

Listen, I've suffered through a lot of bad movies in my day, but the exciting thing about them is that, sometimes, they're so awful they almost turn into bizarre comedies full of weird line readings, insane dialogue, completely inhuman responses to big twists, etc. For me, the worst thing a film can do is be boring or mundane without a single inspired moment and, honestly, most bad films are usually far from boring.

This brings me to Sorority House Massacre - a film so dull, passionless, and lacking in anything remotely resembling excitement that I'm surprised I remembered it enough to give this review.

It manages to cram the plots of Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street into one, but it does absolutely nothing of note. Usually, in even the worst of slasher films, there's a character or death scene or two worth remembering, but there's absolutely nothing to latch onto here. It's all just going through the motions.

If you value your time, skip it.

one night when i came across this movie in blockbuster i picked it up knowing that i would probably get a bad horror film. but i thought it would be bad in a good way. i should have known not too rent this, horror films were great from 74-84, but anything after that for the most part sucked. there are so many things that made this movie bad, too many too name, but i'll name one. this is the biggest Halloween rip off i ever saw. killer breaks out of a Psycho ward, and goes after this girl and what we find out is that her familly was killed by her brother and now he's coming for her. if that's not a Halloween rip off i don't know what is, if you wanna rip off Halloween that's fine it was a great movie, but atleast do a good job. i almost past out so many times durring the movie, it's so boring i can't think of one thing good to say about this movie at all i give it 1/10, and i give it a one only cause they riped off a classic horror film so atleast the makers of the film have taste

Sorority House Massacre could be forgiven for shamelessly aping other horror films such as Halloween (and it's first sequel) and The Eyes of Laura Mars, but it has the audacity to bring absolutely nothing original to the plate at all which makes the whole film feel like watching paint dry.

In the film, we have a young sorority girl plagued with visions of her insane brother who killed her family and, now, wants to come after her and her sorority friends after breaking out of an asylum. Clearly, not the most original plot in the world, but if Sorority House Massacre had at least attempted to bring in some fresh characterizations, interesting dialogue, or maybe an inspired sequence of suspense or two, it wouldn't have felt so stale.

"Sorority House Massacre" (1986) combines the plot of "Halloween" (psycho killer escapes asylum and goes after his little sister) with the sorority house setting of "The House on Sorority Row" (1983) and "Black Christmas" (1974). But the production values are subpar by comparison, sparking some to call it the worst 80's slasher film.

It's true that the movie starts shaky with filmmaking akin to an old soap opera, but it builds some suspense in the second half. And there are a few gems, like when Beth's sorta-date (the short, dark-haired guy) says, "I just like being with you." This shows that the writer actually put in some effort despite the Grade B (or Grade C) production values. The fact that there's no camp and everything plays out deadly seriously is a plus.

The film is short and sweet at 1 hour, 14 minutes; it was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: C

(**1/2 out of *****)

This is the only movie in the slasher-slashes-girls-in-their-nighties series -- which includes the "Slumber Party Massacre" movies and Jim Wynorski's "Hard to Die" (he also directed the sequel to this one) -- that stands on its own. It has nothing to do with the others, and, storywise, it's better. Angela O'Neill plays a traumatized college girl who has sleeping and waking nightmares about a madman who murdered his family, except for one sister (guess who it is), twelve years ago in the house that is now O'Neill's sorority house. When she and three of her sorority sisters are left alone for the weekend, her dreams come true when the same nutcase escapes from the mental hospital and comes back home to finish the job. I'm not gonna lie to you -- this is far from great -- but, it is surprisingly suspenseful in parts, the characters are fairly likable, and, unlike most of these other movies, the script does a believably good job of keeping the girls trapped in the house. There is a silly dress-up montage (including the obligatory topless scenes), the obligatory false-scare climax (including a totally unnecessary final murder that ticked me off), and lots of scenes of knives going into stomachs and backs. Otherwise, the T&A is not as rampant as in the other nightie slashers, but the story is (slightly) more rewarding.

HIGHLIGHT: One sorority chic and her boyfriend are fooling around in a tent in the backyard when the killer ruins all their fun by slashing up the tent and stabbing the girl right between the -- well, not the eyes -- and her boyfriend ditches her and runs, screaming and buck-naked, back into the house.