Savage Beach

Savage Beach is hardly a great departure for director Andy Sidaris, yet another cheezy adventure featuring his stock-in-trade heavily armed, big breasted babes, heroic hunks and despicable bad guys; but although it's still a long way from a work of art, this is perhaps the most enjoyable out of the Sidaris films I've seen so far thanks to a story-line in which a more straightforward adventure takes precedence over the series' usual convoluted espionage nonsense.

The plot sees Taryn and Donna (Hope Marie Carlton and Dona Speir), Molokai's sexiest cargo pilot/drug enforcement agents, take a break from fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains to deliver some desperately needed medical supplies to a remote island hospital. On their way home from the drop, the girls run into a violent storm and wind up crashing on a supposedly uninhabited island where they do some naked swimming, construct a hut out of palm leaves, encounter an aged WWII Japanese soldier (sporting the world's worst old-age make-up), and somehow still wind up fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains who just happen to be on the island searching for a horde of gold.

In addition to endless shots of the super-buff Carlton and Speir parading around in tight white vests, oh-so-short-shorts and cowboy boots (even when engaging in bouts of unconvincing combat), Savage Beach also offers several other well-endowed babes who are equally obliging when it comes to showing us their wares, a fair few squibtastic bullet hits, some fun kung fu fight scenes, the occasional spot of nookie, plus cult actor Al Leong who, as one of the main goons, shows why he rarely gets given speaking parts.

I rate this trashy nonsense a reasonable 5.5 out of 10—my highest score yet for a Sidaris film—but it's still not good enough for me to warrant rounding it up to 6. Maybe next time, Andy... maybe next time.

I'm kind of on a Sidaris Marathon this evening. :)

This is the archtypical B movie with gratuitous use of scantily clad, and occasionally unclad women, but it's so typical that it could be considered maybe to define the genre.

It differs mostly in the actual quality of filming, and actual attractiveness of the women acting from the majority of other B's of its type.

It flows very well, so that you never really start to get bored or lulled. For the most part the scenes either make sense to the plot, and move it along or add a different kind of excitement.

Still, of course, only fans of typical B movies, like the kind that push the R rating a little further than mainstream tends to allow, would want to watch it. If you're into that, you'll find this film to be a bit better than average.

A typical entry in the Sidaris filmography, Savage Beach features the usual assortment of well-endowed women, goofy villains, and exotic locations, and is simple minded if occasionally violent fun. The highlight of this one is Michael Mikasa's appearance as a World War II Japanese soldier stranded on a remote island--in order to age him, the makeup department seems to have submerged his head in a bowl of collodion. It's not a pretty sight.

I don't want to call writer/director Andy Sidaris a genius but that guy knew what he was doing and he did it well. He took dreamy gals and put them in beautiful locations and made movie magic. "Savage Beach" is another solid entry in his filmography. Of course, I would have never been able to watch Sedaris' movies with my mother. But if I'm looking for a movie with my friends, "Savage Beach" is a perfect choice. Honorable mention: all of the girls.

My review was written in October 1989 after watching the movie at a Times Square screening room.

"Savage Beach" is an entertaining action pic, the third followup film to Andy Sidaris' "Malibu Express". Newest effort should do modestly well in regional theatrical release commencing October 13 in Gotham, ahead of the guaranteed video/cable market.

Lovely blonde thesps Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton return for the third time (following "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger") in their lead roles as government drug enforcement agents who moonlight as air cargo haulers. Returning home from an emergency serum delivery to ailing kiddies on a remote island, they crash land on Knox Island, 600 miles from their Molokai homebase.

Coincidentally, numerous opposing forces are converging on the island in search of a horde of gold stolen by the Japanese from the Philippines and originally lost in 1943 when its transport ship sunk. Among these are U. S. army & navy types, led by John Aprea, a secret CIA infiltrator (Burce Penhall), a pair of Japanese mercenaries plus two communist insurgents from the Philippines (Rorigo Obregon and Teri Weigel).

There is a surprisingly serious subplot, involving a Japanese warrior (Michael Mikasa) still left on the island 46 years later guarding the gold but guilt ridden for having killed defenseless U. S. navy men who washed up on the island. He takes a liking to Carlton and protects her in the ensuing action.

Filmmaker Andy Sidaris ensures that most of the action is campy fun with his oddball dialog and predilection for having the female cast strip in the least likely situations. For equal time to appease women in the audience there is a new, handsome leading man, Michael Shane as Shane Abiliene, nominal leader of the good guys.

Speir is an impressively tough heroine, while Carlton is allowed to show her soft side via the platonic romance with warrior Mikasa. Unfortunately, the wrinkly makeup converting young Mikasa into an ancient WW II vet is unconvincing.

Odd touch has all of the sex scenes devoted to the heavies, as Obregon and smoldering brunette Weigel discuss the "revolution" while bedding down.

Howard Wexler' lensing makes for a colorful package and producer Arlene Sidaris gets a lot of production value on screen within a modest budget. Action fans who favor a tongue-in-cheek approach will enjoy this one.