The American Angels: Baptism of Blood

Prior to the main feature on the American ANGELS video cassette, there's a lengthy advertisement for a call-in contest, the grand prize of which is a trip to meet the American Angels themselves. That contest expired over twenty years ago, but it's still pretty neat to see that the filmmakers tried to bolster enthusiasm for their movie. In case you haven't guessed, American ANGELS is about the world of women's professional wrestling, which has never really received the enthusiasm it deserves, and sadly, this movie didn't help things. I have some good things to say about it, but what we have here is basically a niche film: if you like it, you'll probably love it, but don't expect the rest of the world to, and don't expect it to make women's wrestling look all that great, either.

The story: Three young women win a spot on America's hottest "wrestling team," the American Angels. En-route to the "Baptism of Blood" show, they will need to train both physically and mentally to match the rigors of the business and the aggressions of the jealous champion (Mimi Lesseos).

This wasn't that big of an issue in 1991, but anyone who's watched THE WRESTLER or BEYOND THE MAT will know that pro wrestling isn't represented very well here: not only are the matches showcased as 100% real, but the wealth supposedly provided by a federation that has to tape shows in an empty auditorium will make marks slap their knees with derisive laughter. With that said, there's nothing fake about the credentials of the performers seen here, most of whom were recruited from real wrestling companies: Luscious Lisa, Magnificent Mimi, and Black Venus aren't well-known names, but they and many of the other performers had professional experience in GLOW, AWA, and LPWA, and their expertise shows. While the wrestling may not be fantastic by everyone's standards, these clearly aren't actresses who are miming pro maneuvers. The end credits list no stunt personnel.

The acting's dreadful. Almost every single performer either under- or overacts embarrassingly, the worst case of which is the supposedly ultra-charismatic promoter (Tray Loren). Nevertheless, I get a kick out of this: you can't be a wrestling fan and not have a certain appreciation for bad acting. What's more, there's a good handful of storyline cheese here to enjoy: love scenes in the middle of the ring, a short wrestler who *lives* under the ring, newbie initiation by cake attack... And then, of course, there are the wrestling matches themselves. Most of these are played surprisingly straight with little exaggeration or deviation from the real deal, for better or worse. There are some good moves here and there, especially from Mimi, but none of the fights are masterpieces. The final match between Mimi and Lisa goes on for sixteen minutes -acceptable in a wrestling show, but definitely overlong for a movie whose other matches aren't longer than a third of that.

The movie was made by the Sebastian family of filmmakers, and when I say they made it, I mean almost every part of it: between four of them, they directed, wrote, starred in (Jan Mackenzie, nee Sebastian, alias Luscious Lisa), produced, and edited it, not to mention providing cinematography, set decoration, and art direction. They've taken this approach to other features, like GATOR BAIT 2: CAJUN JUSTICE, and it supports the notion that this is indeed a very low budget feature (during the supposedly massive show, the bleachers weren't even full, and we're talking pretty darn low budget when you can't even get enough extras to fill a predetermined camera angle). Luckily, the apparent lack of budget helps bring charm to this one. VHS collectors will want to give this one a look, as well B-movie enthusiasts in general.

And then, after the hilarious contest that is advertised just before the movie starts, you get an hour and forty minutes of crap. American Angels is about a group of professional female wrestlers called, you guessed it, the American Angels. It seems that ratings have been falling the previous year (for reasons which had to have been obvious), so the managers send out a scout to find interesting new talent. The guy that they send out is Diamond Dave, who is supposed to be the biggest and most famous wrestling manager in Hollywood. Yeah, you remember this guy as the dumb-as-a-post redneck from Gator Bait II, right? Anyway, he's a total moron from beginning to end, so let's move on.

Jan Mackenzie, also recognizable from Gator Bait II, plays the part of Luscious Lisa, the new talent that Diamond Dave finds as a goofy stripper in Bakersfield. When she is inaugurated to the team, the other Angels give her the predictable hard time (seeing how she's stealing the show), and all sorts of cat-fighting mayhem ensues. And as if 99 minutes of female wrestling wasn't torture enough, they decided to throw in a MIDGET to wrestle for a while (cue Diamond Dave's intellectual comment, 'Twist him! Make that little midget squeal!').

There is a pathetic attempt to create an emotional subplot as Lisa struggles to make her grandfather proud of her while she works in a profession that he - like any other person with two brain cells working simultaneously would do - sees as a disgrace. The other idiotic subplot to totally ignore is the one about one of the Angels' problems with a gangster back in Chicago. It seems that she owes him a substantial amount of money, and he intends to come after her. I'm not sure she should be afraid though, because early in the film, he throws her into a trashcan and screams at her that it's his town and that he owns everything in it. That's pretty impressive, but it makes you wonder why someone so important hangs out in a rat-infested alley next to a bunch of disgusting dumpsters. Not a real powerful image.

Ultimately, we get some sort of a climactic fight scene between Luscious Lisa and Mimi, the Angel with whom she has the biggest rivalry. It's your basic main event, tacked onto the end of the movie, narrated by a dumbass sportscaster who doesn't know a right leg from a left leg, and that takes place in an arena that seems to be populated mostly by young boys who enthusiastically cheer on their favorite g-string clad American Angel. And then of course, when Lisa executes her infamous move, 'the snap,' which she learned from her famous grandfather (who once killed someone with the move), the moronic sportscaster mentions that he wasn't even sure that 'the snap' even existed. That would make the move much more impressive and maybe even memorable if it had been anything more than a flying kick to the head. Are there any moves in wrestling that DON'T involve a flying kick to the head?!

Clearly, American Angels is a dim-witted movie that commands no respect whatsoever, but ironically, professional wrestling, male OR female, has never been as respectable as this crap. On the other hand, you can't look at the cover of a film like this and expect to get a cerebral workout from watching it, but it's bad movies like this that make the good movies so much better. This is why I watch movies like this, by the way. I know from the moment I see it at the video store that it's going to be so bad that it will almost hurt to watch it, but it really makes me appreciate the good movies.

My review was written in July 1990 after watching the film on Paramount video cassette.

Women's wrestling is entertainingly depicted in "The American Angels", a direct-to-video feature release backed by Paramount. Future installments seem likely.

Filmmakers Ferd and Beverly Sebastian bering back their leading actors Jan MacKenzie and Tray Loren from a previous Paramount release, "Gator Bait II", to mix convincingly with real-life femme wrestlers here.

Emphasis on depicting highly physical training sessions pays off in defusing the disappointing nature of previous wrestling pics where the fakeness of the matches is crystal clear. In fact, lovely redhead MacKenzie looks to be really taking some bumps and bruises, as the pro grapplers toss her around like a sack of potatoes.

Conventional storyline has go-go dancer MacKenzie, Trudy Adams (herself a pro familiar from the "GLOW" tv series) and Patricia Cavoti trying out to become the newest members of promoter Tray Loren's American Angels wrestling league. The veterans pick on them unmercifully, building to the effective promotion of a grudge match between mean but beautiful champ Mimi Lesseos and MacKenzie.

There's a melodramatic subplot involving a drug dealer who's unwilling to let Adams start a new life, but pic is mostly a fun romp which refreshingly concede the amount of training and team effort that goes into wrestlers putting on a show (rather than the usual pretense that it's "real").

With Sue Sexton as the gals' trainer, the grueling warmup sessions are impressive. Final match in which MacKenzie trots out her finishing hold "The Snap" (taught to her by her legendary grandpa Killer Kane) is okay with Lesseos not killed as expected but recuperating for a happy ending pointing towards a rematch sequel.

MacKenzie, whose short stature has the other wrestlers making fun of her but whose full figure is well-displayed in shower and sex scenes, continues to impress as an effervescent B-movie starlet.

Lesseos, who wrestles under the moniker Magnificent Mimi, shows nascent acting ability and the other grapplers escape embarrassment. It's not a picture to rank with Robert Aldrich's A-movie version "All the Marbles", but still is an affectionate tribute to a much-maligned area of show business.

One of the best movies ever made. Rent this and watch half-naked babes doing aerial acrobatics. This movie is why slow motion was invented. It's a shame this movie had to end. By the way, just fast forward through all the dialog. 10/10

Featuring female wrestlers from the '80 such as Magnificent Mimi., Sue Sexton & Black Venus, this movie is a must for fans of women's wrestling. The cover art itself should inform the prospective viewer that the movie itself isn't aiming to rank as classic cinema, and it's idiotic to review it against 'good movies'.From the opening titles where the camera lingers on Magnificent Mimi's sweaty thong clad butt to the climactic battle between Mimi & Luscious Lisa at the end, 'American Angels' is classic 'B' movie sleaze . What is best about the movie is how it makes clear that despite the highly choreographed nature of of all forms of professional wrestling, the participants do take a massive amount of punishment in every bout. The women involved,especially Magnificent Mimi perform wrestling moves which the current crop of WWF women such as Chyna could only dream of. There is an emphasis on grappling skill that today isn't seen even in the men's game, as the current crop of wrestlers only seem to be interested in flashy aerial moves. As for today's women, they have sadly relegated themselves to being ringside decorations. It's pretty certain that even today an 1980's wrestler like Black Venus could take on Chyna, Lita & Sable at the same time and put them all into the Emergency Room!