Dr. Alien

This was pretty close to being tolerable.

"Dr. Alien" (or whatever title it may happen to be under when you see it next) is basically a story about an alien (Landers) who tests a high school nerd Jacoby (Jayne) with a serum that makes him the object of desire of nearly every nubile girl in immediate range.

The fact that I remembered the plot is in itself amazing; everything here is just a setup for whatever lame-brained sight gag the film makers can come up with.

But some of them work. The flustered parent bit is tried and true, Jayne is willing to do what it takes for the laughs, he fronts a rock band in what must have been an afterthought, Landers actually turns into an alien at one point, Troy Donahue gets blown up before the beginning credits roll and then there's the women, God bless them.

If the movie starts getting boring, just pop in a half-dressed or undressed girl and then who cares about the plot? Not me. Two and a half stars. You want a good brain-dead night of laughs and T & A (heavy on the T), call this "Dr.".

A witless teen sex comedy that typifies everything that went wrong with genre films in the late 1980s. Troy Donahue grabs a quick paycheck for his cameo as a college professor who gets injured in a car crash caused by a UFO. His replacement is statuesque blonde Judy Landers, who's really an alien doing fertility experiments on Earth to help cure the sterile population of her home planet. She injects some green stuff into a straight-laced, unpopular, necktie-wearing nerd, causing him to grow a tentacle/antenna thing that occasionally pops up from the top of his head and instantly hypnotizes women into wanting to have sex with him. Supposed hilarity ensues. You can tell it's supposed to be funny but there isn't anything clever about it. The nerd learns to loosen up and be himself, leading to a muddled moral message for teens, which naturally is the old "believe in yourself and you can do anything" bromide. Since the kid only became popular after developing an impossible new body part that automatically hypnotizes people, the message feels as ill-fitting as it is trite. The pleasant surprise is the makeup. When Landers pulls off her human face to reveal the bulbous-headed, pointy-eared, bug-eyed alien form underneath, the special effects are so good that it's amazing to see them in a movie this cheap and lowbrow. Greg Cannom provided the alien effects, and his makeup work is really terrific. It's a great looking alien that deserved to be in a better film. The same director made (among tons of other undistinguished junk) CREEPAZOIDS, referenced several times here, once as the name on a prop breakfast cereal box and again when one character is shown watching it on TV. Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer appear briefly as tramps. For some reason, promotional art for DR. ALIEN used an altered photo that crudely replaced Landers' hypo with an awkwardly positioned test tube. Somebody must have worried that a photo of a woman holding a syringe full of bright green fluid would be interpreted as an endorsement of heroin use. Only in America. This was announced as I WAS A TEENAGE SEX MUTANT, and a very 80's-sounding song by that title is heard on the soundtrack.

My review was written in February 1989 after watching the movie on Paramount/Phantom video cassette.

Sci-fi meets teen sex comedy in "Dr. Alien", a campy direct-to-video film. It was more colorfully (and accurately) titled "I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant" when pre-sold by Charles Band's organization years ago.

Tone recalls the Scott Baio-starrer "Zapped", and the new pic is likely to establish its own healthy following in ancillary media. Billy Jacoby is a nerdish college freshman selected by new biology teacher Judy Landers for an experiment. She's an alien from planet Altaria, who's killed biology prof Troy Donahue and is testing a formula on Jacoby in support of repopulating her world, whose males are dying out.

Filmmaker David DeCoteau juggles numerous staples of the various teen genres:Jacoby is converted into a hip dude after the first injection (and sexual initiation) by Landers; he joins rock band The Sex Mutants, and his best pal Stuart Fratkin ogles the girls' gym class for voyeur action. Girls can't resist Jacoby, including zoftig Julie Gray, girlfriend of school bully Scott Morris.

Harmless fun is easy to take, the excellent makeup effects by John Vulich include a tentacle growing out of the top of Jacoby's head and a huge blue head for Landers' real self that allows the comedienne to inject her own personality into her monster-masked scenes. Landers is quite funny, ably matched by Jacoby.

This movie is a decent T&A movie. Wish we'd got to view more of the lovely Judy Landers, for sure. There's a few familar faces from some other B-movies in this. The plot is just as the other reviewer calls it. I actually think it's a good plot for a T&A movie. Most guys would love to be in this situation, especially with high school girls with chests like these. I'd enjoyed the cheerleader scene more if the scene had more to it and they'd teased you alittle more in the locker room. Look out for the strange alien thing coming out of the guys head? Who thought of that gross thing. And why'd they have to make Judy's alien shed her skin? Such beauty lost.

I haven't seen everything DeCoteau has directed, but yes I have suffered through most of his work -- even those cursed puppets. I don't really know why I put myself through this, but sometimes you get rewarded, and this is one of them.

Prior to seeing this film, my favourite was The Brotherhood (2001). But this one is just a bit better. It's got everything great about the 80s. Lots of naked boobies for those who are into that. Shirtless Billy Jayne and his painted-on jeans for me. Good music, pop-culture references (without going overboard like the Scream franchise), a plot, halfway-decent dialogue, and even effects that didn't look completely like leftovers from another film's trash. Most importantly, no minutes-long sequences of people walking down corridors in slow motion. We can all celebrate that, can't we?

This film doesn't deserve the horrible score it has received. It's not Shawshank, but it's certainly worth 6/10.