Rappin'

Golan-Globus decided to follow up its breakout hit of 1984's BREAKIN' with this movie about how Eriq Lasalle is trying to save his neighborhood from developers while being discovered as a great, natural rap star, with a hackneyed plot and club music that sounds like the chick-a-boom stuff that was used as the soundtrack for every cheesy urban movie in the 1970s.

There's a lot of talent lurking onscreen. Not only is it Lasalle's first movie, but Ice-T (credited under his birth name of Tracy Marrow) and his crew are available.

As I usually am with these productions, I'm more fascinated by the fact that all these poor people have brand new shoes and boxing gloves, perfectly maintained browstones that, we are told, are falling apart and, of course, Lasalle's immaculate hair styling with two perfect spit curls than I am by story acting or technical excellence, mostly because there is so little.

John Hood (Mario Van Peebles) is released from prison. He goes home to his grandma and younger brother. He reconnects with his best friend Ice (Eriq La Salle). The evil landlord Wilson is trying to evict the multi-ethnic downtrodden neighborhood. Hood and his friends work to fight against the villainous land-developer. He falls for rival Duane's girlfriend, Dixie (Tasia Valenza).

If this is a disconnected sequel to Breakin', then this is a complete failure. I would love to have Breakin' 3 with the original crew. As a new story on its own, this is still a failure. If they want a movie about rapping, make Ice-T the protagonist. He's the only connecting tissue and he deserves a chance. His acting couldn't be any worst. Mario has always been a hustler and a try hard. He tries hard to be a rapper but he's far from one. I couldn't believe the first rap is about food. Eriq La Salle is stiff and cold. He can be that way in ER because that's the character. In this, he's just stiff and he's not a real rapper either. Duane is a ridiculously villain. He's white bread trying to be hard and it comes off like a cartoon. I do like the town council rap for its hokey sincerity but the closing credits rap is just cringeworthy. I want to like this but too much of this is cringeworthy.

Mario Van Peebles is very engaging in this rather harmless attempt by the Cannon Group to capture mid-80s rap culture on screen. He plays John "Rappin'" Hood, a street tough who's changed his ways after time in jail, and returns to his 'hood to romance the lovely Dixie (Tasia Valenza), set his younger brother Allan (Leo O'Brien) on the right track, and fight back against Duane (Charles Grant), a vicious former crony, and Thorndike (Harry Goz), a sleazy land developer.

Done in a musical style, with numbers delivered at fairly frequent intervals, "Rappin'" is not to be taken seriously. People could definitely argue that it's in dire need of bite, edginess, and grit, but for a PG rated look at inner-city people who find a way to express themselves, it's hard to truly dislike. One could also argue that a lot of the rhyming is inane and goofy, but this viewer liked that the picture had a sense of humour (like the scene with the hooker, or that utterly dopey number "Snack Attack"). Ice-T (who has a number of his own, as an auditioning rapper) dubbed in Van Peebles' rhyming.

The picture does take problems of inner-city living lightly, but then director Joel Silberg and company likely wanted to avoid ever making this too unpleasant, in order to reach as broad an audience as possible. In fact, the whole thing DOES come off as a little cheesy (with opportunities for many of the main cast members to belt out a line or two during the closing credits number).

Grant and Goz are appropriately odious villains; you do hope that Grant brawls with Van Peebles at some point so he can get his ass righteously handed to him. Valenza is a charming love interest, Eyde Byrde is appealing as the grandmother, Rony Clanton is good as a slimy landlord, there are early roles for future stars Kadeem Hardison and Eriq LaSalle as two of Van Peebles' crew, and the enchanting character actress Rutanya Alda also has a role as an area resident. It's always nice to see her in anything.

As this viewer already said, the picture is entertaining enough to watch provided you don't ever take it that seriously.

Six out of 10.

This movie is such a monumental collection of cheese and brilliance that I got to give it my highest level of fervent recommendation. It took a little while to grow on me, but once I saw it from beginning to end, I was sold for life. Everytime I watch this film, it gets funnier. There are so many funny scenes, it is endless amusement. This movie is epic. It ain't for everyone, but if you find the 1980s to be inherently funny, you will crack up at this monument of cheese. Mario Van Peebles is incredible, delivering his lines with bravado and soul ("Bathroom, Fool!"). Eriq LaSalle is great as the rightous tough guy Ice. Charles Flohe has a career making role as the villian. Tasia Valenza is enchanting as the love interest, Dixie. Melvin Plowden provides portly comic relief as Fats. Ice T wrote the rhymes that Mario spits. Simply incredible. 10/10

"I went to the movies, to see 'Beat Street' / it wasn't bad, it was kinda' neat / 'Krush Groove' was a flick, that I didn't mind / but when it came to 'Rappin', I drew the line." Word to your mother.

Want me to stop?

That's just a small sample of the stupa-fly style of rhymin' on display in this waste of film and location permits. This movie is seriously wack (thats 80s-speak for just f*cking awful). As an emcee, Mario Van Peebles is one hell of an actor. And as an actor, Mario Van Peebles is one hell of a bodybuilder.

Any film calling itself "Rappin'" had better deliver at that genre's highest standard of the time. So why were 6 year olds rolling in the aisles, even back in the day when standards were so knee-high-to-"Webster"-low? Because this rap is weak. So weak that not even B.E.T. or Comedy Central will touch it with a 10-foot gold-rope chain.

Blondie's "Rapture" is def poetry next to this bit of Dr. Suess in the hood. So don't be a boobie, avoid this movie!