Hollywood Boulevard

A beautiful blonde from Indiana (Candice Rialson) moves to Hollywood to become an actress and find fame. She hooks-up with a dubious team of moviemakers who run Miracle Pictures. Their slogan is: "If it's a good picture, it's a miracle." Statuesque Mary Woronov is on hand as an increasingly bitter actress who works for the company.

"Hollywood Boulevard" (1976) is an amusing send-up of Grade Z filmmaking with comedy, action, slasher, you-name-it. It's amusing for the first 40 minutes or so, but starts to lose its charm by the second half. Sure, it's entertaining to a point if you want to turn-off your brain for a fun time, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a shallow, throwaway flick.

Nevertheless, there's a surprising sequence that obviously influenced Coppola and his outstanding air raid on the village sequence in "Apocalypse Now."

Blonde Candice Rialson was a memorable B-film starlet in the 70s, along the lines of redhead Claudia Jennings; and, less so, thin Tara Strohmeier, who plays Jill here. Meanwhile brunette Rita George is notable as Bobbi. There's quite a bit of top nudity, so stay away if you find that objectionable.

Eleven years later, "Howling III: The Marsupials" would feature a satirical filmmaking crew, similar to the one in this one.

It runs 1 hour, 23 minutes, and was shot in Los Angeles, including Hollywood, except for sequences done at Paramount Ranch in Agoura Hills, which is west of there, just north of Malibu in the high country (the Western town set and open landscape shots).

GRADE: C.

To be entirely honest, I came close to abandoning "Hollywood Boulevard" after a few minutes already, due to the exaggeratedly goofy sequence of a stunt woman crashing from a plane and leaving a person-shaped crater in the ground upon impact. That sort of stuff belongs in a "Tom and Jerry" or "Roadrunner" cartoon, but not here. But because Roger Corman and Joe Dante are involved, and mainly because the gorgeous Tara Strohmeier was standing around topless for no reason, there was a little voice inside my head encouraging me to continue. It might get better...

Overall, I'm glad I persevered. There are many more silly and downright idiotic moments like these in "Hollywood Boulevard", but also the showcasing of brilliant tongue-in-cheek satire and in-house parody. Roger Corman gave two of his canniest acolytes (Joe "Piranha" Dante and Allan "Rock & Roll High School" Arkush) 10 days, $60.000, and free access to the outtakes of his previous film-hits (notably "Death Race 2000). What they delivered in return is a bonkers but imaginative - and, yes, occasionally dreary - cocktail of comedy, sleaze, horror, and parody.

"Hollywood Boulevard" begins as a tale about a naïve young actress struggling to make it in the movie industry, continues as a portrait on how difficult it is to remain successful in that same industry, and ends (quite fantastically) as a slasher in which the sexy B-movie actresses are the targets of a maniacal killer. What makes "Hollywood Boulevard" so enjoyable is the marvelous cast of Corman-regulars and the shameless exploitation of beautiful female nudity. Paul Bartel is splendid as the unworldly director who loves himself and Dick Miller is genius as the sly talent agent. Actresses Tara Strohmeier, Candice Rialson, and Rita George also give more than admirable performances, but - who are we kidding - are most memorable for their topless appearances. The long and 200% gratuitous sequence where the three of them are sunbathing half-naked on a beach in The Philippines probably still is the highlight of Joe Dante's and Alan Arkush's careers!

Oh, and you simple have to love the fictional "Miracle Films" production company's slogan: If it's a good picture, it's a Miracle.

but probably nobody else.

A young, beautiful woman (Candice Rialson) comes to Hollywood to become a star. She starts working with Miracle Pictures ("If it's a good picture, it's a miracle") as a stunt girl. Miracle makes nothing but ultra cheap t&a movies. There's the star director (Parl Bartel) who supposedly thinks he's making art and an arrogant diva (Mary Woronov) who wants all the film to herself. Then woman are being killed on the set. Who's doing it...and why?

Film was actually shot in 10 days with directors Joe Dante and Allan Arkush using tons of footage from previous Roger Corman movies. The movie never takes itself too seriously and does have some VERY funny lines. But the plot is way too feeble even at 83 minutes (there's LOTS of padding); the acting is pretty bad (except for Bartel, Woronov and Dick Miller--all having a GREAT time); there is an unnecessary (and stupid) wet T-shirt sequence; there's a very sick rape scene played for laughs (and repeated twice); a very brutal knife slashing and plot holes galore (why DOES that guy at the end have all that stuff about victims in his little shed?).

What kept me watching is the tons of funny little injokes for movie fans. They're way too numerous to mention but they are there. Also it was just released in a 25th anniversary edition and looks just great. Most casual viewers will probably find this dull, stupid and sick--they're right, but it is fun for film fans.

Don't miss the jokes during the closing credits and one right after them.

I spent the best years of the 1970s at the drive-in, and this film is a most enjoyable look at drive-in movies and the people who made them. If you don't count the Ingmar Bergmans, it may be the best picture ever released by New World Studios. I saw this on big screen, before the print had gotten very many scratches, and more recently on video where it held up as any other classic does.

New World editors Joe Dante and Allan Arkush were allowed by boss Roger Corman to direct a picture, within very strict budgetary limitations, and they produced this classic look at drive-in films and the people who make them, just a few years before the whole genre was kicked into limbo by the VCR. Through clever use of action footage from older New World films, Arkush and Dante brought their film in on budget and earned their first professional directorial credits.

Aspiring actress Candice Rialson (wow!) hits town, fresh from Indiana, and secures the services of scruffy talent agent Walter Paisley (okay!), who gets her work in lowbudget pix from Miracle Studios ("It it's a good picture, it's a Miracle!") -- where they make movies like BAD GIRL IN BOYS TOWN and ATOMIC WAR BRIDES, where director Paul Bartel reminds Godzilla, "Your motivation in this scene is to step on as many people as possible," and where Mary Woronov is the queen of the lot. Skinny snarling starlets blast away with machine guns. Extras from THE HOT BOX fall out of trees in the Philippines. Model-Ts crash in BIG BAD MAMA. Candy jumps to dodge rolling car debris. Wait a minute, somebody is killing the starlets here at Miracle! Rita George dies! Tara Strohmeier dies (NOOO!!!!). Who's doing it? Is Candy next on the list? Who will survive and what will be left of them?

We also visit a glam movie premiere at a Valley drive-in, watch a boy-girl scene scored to a somewhat revised version of "Everybody's Truckin'," with the band serenading the gropers live, and we see Paisley audition Robby the Robot ("Let me hear you say 'Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn'"). Candice Rialson is perfect (in her best role) as the naive Candy, Mary Woronov goes gleefully over the top as movie legend Mary McQueen, and Dick Miller should be in EVERY motion picture that comes out of Hollywood. The treatment of the wacky world of drive-in moviemaking is affectionate, there are a lot of cameos, and anyone who likes Dante's or Arkush's other work will find this well worth the 80-odd minutes it takes to watch. However, I have never been able to spot Belinda Balaski anywhere in this, and she's not named in the IMDB credits. Is this the only Dante film she's not in?

Corman remade the film in 1989 as HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD 2, with Ginger Lynn Allen in the lead, but it is just a remake, not a sequel, and even though the budget is considerably larger it is not as fresh or as funny (though it's not as bad as the remakes of BIG BAD MAMA or ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL).

This film belongs on a drive-in screen, not on your tv set, but since that is the only place you're ever going to see it now, crank up your living room Rolls Canardly and have some fun. I used to give this a rating of 9 on the IMDB scale, but having finally seen THE PASSION OF JEANNE D'ARC in the meantime, I have lowered BOULEVARD to a more realistic 8.

Joe Dante got his start as a director in collaboration with director Allan Arkush on this zany send-up of low-budget film-making, lampooning their own mentor/boss Roger Corman with "Miracle Pictures - if it's a good movie, it's a Miracle!" It's also an homage to an obscure Bela Lugosi flick, The Death Kiss, about a death on a horror movie set. This story takes that premise a little further by making it about a series of deaths, seemingly (at first) unrelated, but soon enough showing a pattern of the female stars being targeted. Who is the culprit isn't really as important, or as entertaining until the last few minutes anyway, as seeing the whole fun/rotten atmosphere of down-and-dirty B-movie-making.

It's not that every joke (intended or not) always works, and some of the acting, even if intentionally, is quite pitiful. But Dante and Arkush are putting so much there on the screen via Patrick Hobby's screenplay that enough of it really does stick. Some of it attributable to the plucky can-do attitude of the character Candy Hope (and equally fun to watch, Candice Rialson) and how she observes and becomes apart of the insanity and snobish-ness of the film crew. Lines also stick out as being the kind you want to quote for weeks ("Your motivation is to kill hundreds of Philippine soldiers!"), and acting from the likes of Dick Miller as the well-meaning agent and Paul Bartel as the pretentious director Erich von Leppe.

The jokes and gags keep coming, and often at a quick enough pace - there's a big shootout between the girls and (stock footage of) Philippene soldiers that is a lot of fun, and a car that's brakes are cut off which allows for a tremendously goofy car chase scene (the car itself possibly on loan from Death Race 2000). And there's a hysterical sequence at a drive-in movie theater for the premiere of Candy's big-screen debut that turns out horribly. It's a sometimes sloppy comedy but that's part of the charm, and a lot of ingenuity goes a long way (one sequence at the movie set after hours where a killer lurks after one of the girls is actually very well directed and moody, a sign of things to come from Dante especially).