Battle Beneath the Earth

This a British film attempting to pretend to everyone and fooling no one that it`s a big budget Hollywood movie . It starts with a couple of Las Vegas cops with laughably bad American accents getting a report of a disturbance . Cut to some stock footage of Vegas with the cop car stopping beside a sidewalk that was obviously filmed inside a studio . Every expense has been spared with BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH . Despite being set in the 1960s all the American troops have firearms and wear kit from the second world war while those nasty Chinese commies have death rays that are obviously flash lights , and in order to save on importing Chinese actors we have caucasians playing oriental villains . Why couldn`t they have employed Burt Kwouk ( Kato from THE PINK PANTHER movies ) I ask myself ?

There is some enjoyment to be had from BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH since it`s one of those " So bad it`s good " type films complete with absolutely ridiculous scenes that defy logic such as GIs` being able to defuse atomic bombs and people managing to outrun the blast from a nuclear explosion

I knew this movie was going to be silly but I tried to watch it as objectively as possible. In the beginning this still went well but as the movie progressed the story lost more and more credibility, which was not only due to the poor silly story but also due to the poor film-making in general.

The story is not just only silly in terms of its premise but it's also filled with some implausibilities and giant plot holes. Like for instance, why don't the Americans launch a full scale attack after they discovered the Chinese rouge army, that plans to explode nuclear bombs on (or under) American soil? Instead they send about a dozen man, of which some aren't even used to combat situations. And why do the Chinese transport a couple of nuclear bombs without even an escort? The more you start thinking about this movie and its story, the sillier it gets. Perhaps you should try to watch this movie without thinking too much. It's the kind of story material normally used in a simple "Thunderbirds" episode, in which they have to save the world in 20 minutes time.

The story is original and in its core it had potential. However the way everything is brought to the screen is far from impressive or credible. I mean when they basically use giant flashlights for laser-beams, it's hard to take this movie serious. Also throughout the movie they occasionally use multiple sequences multiple times, in some cases even three times the same shot! Due to money or time problems? Anyway, it doesn't do the movie much good.

And why aren't the Chinese main villains being portrayed by Chinese, or even just Asians for that matter. Instead they are now being portrayed by British actors, with make-up, which works far from convincing to say the least. But also the rest of the actors aren't much good. Hard to say if that's entirely their fault, since the characters that they have to play are also far from well developed or even interesting enough to follow.

Guess in a way it's one of those movies that is so bad that it becomes good. The movie still does has its entertaining moments but yet the way the movie is made as a whole makes sure that you can't help to laugh and cringe at this movie.

4/10

http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

A classic. Utterly dismal. This film must have been made with the change left over from the first Blair Witch project. The rock wall tunnels practically wobble, truck headlights pretending to be rock boring lasers. Englishmen pretending to be Chinese with silly slant eyes - you know the style seen in every lame 60 or 70's movies - how hard is it to hire real Chinese as actors? If the effects stink they are fragrant compared to the plot. At one point to detect the Chinese tunnels the military orders the US to go silent for Gods sake; like it was a submarine on silent running! The whole things is so bad as to be camply hilarious.

I can agree with the various shortcomings of this film although I loved it when I first saw it at a kid's matinée feature. The concept is so like a Bond movie I'm surprised it wasn't used for one. The scheming Chinese General could easily have been Dr. No. The special effects are nominal but serviceable and I'll offer the backhanded compliment that it could have been much worse if it had been an penny-pinching American production.

Anyway, see it for yourself if you dare but it's light fluffy fun from the late 60's when it seemed the viewing public knew nothing of science and could ignore the glaring errors, both scientific and plot-oriented.

Bonus! Ed Bishop of Gerry Anderson fame has a substantial role. Bonus again! The Chinese officers drive around in yellow German Kubelwagens.

Claustrophobic, by Nature, Story of a "Chinese" Communist Invasion on America's Homeland by Tunneling.

Driving, Supposedly, Futuristic Sci-Fi Boring Vehicles.

That are Shown as Nothing More than Toy-Trucks Painted in Loud Colors with some "Teeth-Like" Appendages.

Moving at a Whopping 8 MPH and Encountering USA Resistance Once in a While to Slow Them as the Home of the Brave Manage to Invent a Rival, Unimpressive Looking (for Movie Buffs) Toy of Their Own.

The Film Starts with some Levity as a "Crackpot" Scientist with Ear to the Ground on a City Sidewalk Says...

"Listen, they're down there like ants, coming to exterminate us."

Turns Out the "Mad Scientist", who was "Locked-Up" in the "Loony-Bin", is the Only One Who can Invent such a Toy.

Unintentionally Funny Lines Pop-Up like...While Exploring with a Fellow, but Female Researcher, B-Movie Swashbuckler Kerwin Matthews, Stops Mid-Stride to ask...

"So how long have you been researching tunnels?".

Another Guffaw is, During the High-Tension Invasion, Discovering the Enemy, a Military-Man Gets on the Phone and Shouts...

"This is a PRIORITY, DOUBLE-SCRAMBLE THE SIGNAL."

Some Colorful Images as Wall-Paper and an Over-the-Top Comic-Book-James-Bond Megalomaniac, Can't Save the Boredom.

Forgotten Vietnam Conflict Propaganda Picture is Not Worth Remembering.