One Million Years B.C.

One thing that newcomers to Hammer need to appreciate is that many of their films are low-budget, and kitsch, and One Million Years B.C scores high on the cheese-factor even by Hammer's yardstick. The film's tagline is laughably off-target – "This is the way it was!" – I am almost positive cavewomen didn't have immaculately coiffured hair, push-up loincloth bras, eyeliner, and waxed legs, while their primitive menfolk did battle with dinosaurs that scientifically speaking died out many millions of years earlier. Needless to say, a willing suspension of disbelief is a prerequisite to enjoyment of this movie.

Inappropriate marketing aside, if you can get past these hurdles, B.C is an entertaining, if mindless, action movie, and one which is elevated to ongoing cult status thanks to 2 main factors - Raquel Welch and Ray Harryhausen.

Even if you have never heard of this film, chances are at some point you have been exposed to "that picture". Raquel Welch is THE reason this film's cult following is 95% male, and seeing her in her loincloth bikini is quite honestly a sight to behold. Fleeing from giant dinosaurs, and fighting with cavewomen, this role in a low-budget British monster movie is the one that put her on the map and created one of the greatest sex symbols ever to light up the silver screen.

Only just losing out to Raquel Welch as the star of the show, are the creatures themselves. Animated by the inimitable, legendary Ray Harryhausen (as far as I know the only special effects guru to become a household name in his own right) the creatures are brilliantly realised, and integrated seamlessly with the live-action elements. Aside from Jason and the Argonauts, and Clash of the Titans, this is some of his best work – the Allosaur attack on the shell-people's village being a real technical accomplishment and highlight of the film. The results are slightly marred though by the the integration of real animals, shot and superimposed to look massive. An early attack from a giant, half-asleep looking iguana is hardly menacing, nor is a (thankfully very brief) appearance by a gigantic tarantula that is trying to eat an equally gigantic cricket. These negative moments are forgotten though when Harryhausen's flawless stop-motion takes center stage, bringing us the iconic triceratops fight amongst other great set-pieces.

Thanks to the jaw-dropping "talents" of Raquel Welch, the rest of the cast are pretty expendable. Even main star John Richardson's character of Tumak could have been played by a monkey in a spacesuit when Welch was on screen, no-one would have noticed. Everyone plays as well as they need to though, given the grunt-riddled, running-away-from-an-imaginary-monster screenplay. The storyline is simplistic, (primitive man learns tolerance and civility) and is basically a thinly veiled cover for a series of awesome action set-pieces and monster vs human battle sequences, and a vehicle for the scantily clad Raquel Welch to run around getting sweaty and dirty, which can only be considered a bonus.

In summary, leave your brain at the door and you are likely to have a great time. This is a cult classic; a camp, entertaining showcase for Harryhausen's skills, and while shallow, has enough action and sex-appeal to please the average testosterone-laden viewer. Worth watching for Raquel Welch's magnetic presence alone.

Take off your cultural blinders...the one you put on when you watch a "trashy" movie...and think about what you are actually experiencing as you watch this movie. Is it merely a "trash" entertainment? To be sure, Raquel Welch in her furkini, the now quaint quality of the Harryhausen effects, the girl fight between Raquel and Martine Beswick, all provide the frisson of "trash" delight. But this movie is much more than that, a tour de force of imagination, and a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. The vision of man adrift in a hostile universe, at odds with his fellow creatures, his own untamed emotions, and the apocalyptic earth itself, is haunting and beautiful. Our only hope is Raquel, who offers a transcendent vision of peace and love--without uttering a word.

Special kudos to the music. Where the special effects strain against their limits, as in the terrifying pterodactyl attack and the final upheaval, the music carries home the emotion. I am reminded of Schopenhauer: "The internal relation that music has to the true nature of all things can also explain the fact that, when music suitable to any scene, action, event, or environment is played, it seems to disclose to us its utmost secret meaning and appears to be the most accurate and distinct commentary on it." In a film where words matter so little, the music is especially crucial. As you watch the pterodactyl snatch Raquel and carry her off to feed its young while the other humans watch in helpless dismay, listen to the music, and think about the "utmost secret meaning" of what you are witnessing. This is an artistic moment of astounding ambition, and there are many such moments throughout this sustained meditation on man and the universe.

A few years later, the same team made Creatures the World Forgot, a more "realistic" look at prehistoric survival sans dinosaurs, with a Cain and Abel story that is riveting...and my god, the cave people are hot!

Ray Harryhausens work is unparalleled and is once again to be admired in this film. I was intrigued that the first thing hygiene wise that humans (at least women) must have come up with was shaving. The females in this movie are all clean shaven in places where women traditionally have kept themselves clean shaven. The men obviously weren't going to learn this art until some time later. Nonetheless this motion picture is one of those that never gets tired with repeated viewings.

Vaguely similar to the 'Dawn of Man' sequence in '2001' and set long ago when women wore false eyelashes and permed hair, but hadn't yet learned to eat quietly. Raquel Welch in her first starring role was helped by the fact that she didn't need to learn lines, but the real reason to watch it is Martine Beswick as a feral savage called Nupondi. And the music by Mario Nascimbene is up to Hammer's usual high standard.

Both "One Million B.C." (1940), and this film, a remake, "One Million Years B.C." (1966) are films that are half-cherished and half-despised. They are what are classified as camp classics and I agree that both of them are exactly like that. They are both about equal in entertainment quality, but they must not be taken too seriously. Like I've stated in my review of the original "One Million B.C.", dinosaurs and caveman did not live in the same time period. They never knew of each other. But "One Million Years B.C." is a fantasy movie. It takes place in an imaginary world. And it must be treated exactly as it is: a fantasy.

"One Million Years B.C." is just as good, if not better, than the original film upon which it was based. It follows the same basic storyline and the same kind of plot. It's basically an ancient love story to perhaps explore the possible emotions of our ancestors. And then to add some campy, but innovative action to heighten the entertainment value. The film stars Raquel Welch, who in her fur bikini, is undoubtedly the most famous feature of the film. The poster shot of Raquel from this film is more famous than the film itself. And she is stunningly beautiful on screen. Also not all that bad in performance. John Richardson is a great equivalent to Victor Mature from the original and in my opinion, Richardson has a more convincing appearance and performance as a strong and bold warrior. And the rest of the entire cast is just more actors and actresses dressed in fur clothing and wearing makeup to enhance the appearance of an ancient race.

After Raquel Welch, the most famous feature of "One Million Years B.C." is the stop-motion dinosaurs created by the famous and brilliant effects artist Ray Harryhausen. Here, he is at his peak. It was animating dinosaurs in his youth when he began to learn to perform the art, so bringing them onto the screen was always right in his territory. The film features several dinosaurs, not enough in my opinion, I would have liked to have seen two or three more, but enough. All of whom are realistically created after hours and hours of hard work. And the dinosaurs are much more convincing than the people in rubber suits and giant lizards from the original. There is one graphically enlarged lizard in the film, however, and it turned out more comical than frightening with its hissing sounds and its slurping tongue. But not a bad effect or idea, nonetheless. The other dinosaurs, particularly the fearsome Allosaurus, are magnificently done. They even utilize the breathing mechanisms to make it appear as if the animals are actually breathing. And while stop-motion animation may seem obsolete now days, back in its day, it was the most convincing special effect in Hollywood. And it still remains to this day as a magical and popular animation technique.

Aside from the dinosaurs, the other special effects were acceptable for their time. There were a few moments where I could tell that the cave wall that two cavemen are shoving each other into was really made out of rubber. And a few other shots weren't perfect either, but nothing to get picky about. It is, after all, a 60s film.

Bottom line, "One Million Years B.C." is a very fine film and is very entertaining and satisfying if you just simply treat it as a non-serious fantasy film, which it is. Just sit back, enough the sight of Raquel Welch's stunning beauty, the magnificent Mario Nascimbene music score in the background, fine performances by the cast, wonderful stop-motion dinosaurs, and a great camp classic.