The Body Stealers

The Body Stealers (a.k.a Thin Air) is truly one of the most dreadful movies you'll ever have the misfortune to see. Simply because there are some notable names on the cast list, you mustn't think that it is remotely good. Everyone in this movie must have needed some fast cash to clear their debts. How else can you explain such a strong cast being lured into such an obvious bomb? OK, that's a bit cynical - nobody actually sets out to make a bad film - but whatever the original intentions were, the resulting film is an utter loss.

It's a science fiction story in which the military investigates several cases of parachutists vanishing in mid-air. For the first ten minutes, the peculiar mystery promises to build up to an intriguing resolution, but the promise rapidly evaporates as it becomes apparent that the answers are going to be childish rather than ingenious.

This is hilariously bad, to such an extent that it makes even the worst episode of Doctor Who look like it had high production values! You'd have to be a disturbed eight year old to figure out what the hell is going on as the solution draws close. Still, why worry about it when clearly the actors involved don't look interested either? One interesting thing about the film is the inclusion of Neil Connery (Sean's brother) in a significant role... believe me when I say this guy is no actor!

The 1960s was the era of the brash, misogynistic hero who uses his fists first and asks questions later. He assumes that all women want to sleep with him, no matter what the age gap, and wears a variety of chunky knitwear a Cornish fisherman would feel comfortable in. This behaviour can all be blamed on James Bond. The mega-success of the Bond franchise lead to every other TV and movie producer falling over themselves trying to get a piece of the action. There were spies, espionage and action heroes everywhere. Now The Body Stealers is not a spy film as such, but it is Bond that it most closely resembles, despite its extra-terrestrial enemy. And unfortunately our Neil does not take the lead role, the honour falling to Patrick Allen. Allen was a great character actor in the 1960s, making many appearances in Hammer films, including the fan favourite Captain Clegg aka Night Creatures, along with assorted low-budget science fiction efforts. Here he plays a no-nonsense, womanising private detective called in by the military to solve the mystery of parachutists disappearing in mid-drop. Neil Connery is relegated to standing in the background in most of the scenes, playing an old friend of Allen's.

So, the plot goes something like this: The British Air Force are testing a new kind of parachute, but their jumpers (not the knitted kind) are vanishing into thin air before they hit the ground (incidentally Thin Air was the original title of the film, but exploitation master Tony Tenser, producer and head of Tigon, thought it wasn't catchy enough). It IS all a mystery. Allen, who used to be a parachutist himself, leaves a women he was enjoying an intimate picnic with at the order of George Sanders and moves into a seedy looking B&B by the airbase. After clumsily trying to chat up a female scientist, and meeting the chief scientist Maurice Evans (better known for his appearances under heavy makeup in the Planet of the Apes series), he starts to make his moves on a mysterious, bikini-clad blonde he meets on the beach. Meanwhile, for no given reason other than he may be a pervert of some kind, Neil Connery takes secret photos of his old mate Allen making love to this woman right there on the sand. But when he develops the photos, possibly for publication in a seedy magazine (everything was seedy in sixties low budget science fiction), he discovers that she doesn't appear in the photos! That's because she is an alien!

Are you following this? I won't continue, as I'm confusing myself as much as I'm probably confusing you, and I've seen the film. It's no wonder George Sanders spends most of his scenes looking mistily into the distance, no doubt reminiscing on his earlier days working with the likes of Visconti. Even Allen admits on the DVD commentary that he had no real idea of what was going on. Now depending on your view point, this confusing plot, and the lack of a satisfying conclusion, could lead you to believe that you have just wasted the last ninety minutes of your life. Or, if like me you have a certain fondness for sixties British science fiction then there is still plenty of enjoyment to be had from The Body Stealers. You can wonder how Neil Connery didn't do more to cash in on his brother's celebrity status (his only other film appearance of note is the notorious Italian Bond rip-off Operation Kid Brother), or whether this film was the tipping point for Sanders, resulting in his suicide just a couple of years later. You can admire how Allen's heroic chin can win over even the most resistant of women, and even speculate whether there couldn't have been an easier, lower-profile way for the alien race to abduct men to take back to their home planet.

In my reassessment process for my early movies watched in the past, I found at Youtube a fine print of The Body Stealers totally restored no subtitles at all, this weak minor Sci-Fi bring the weird plot about missing in air twelve NATO paratroopers thru red-beam without explanation, suspecting about foreign countries on even Alien snatchers, due it they call the hard smoking Bob Megan (Patrick Allen) with that big chin to check out what's going on under orders of Gen. Armstrong (George Sanders), by this task he requires 25.000 pounds as reward, due it a top secret state matter.

As womanizer playboy Bob starts looking on landing field finding a clue a piece of parachute high level of radioactive, according the gorgeous scientist Julie Slade (Hilary Heath), the lab is leading by the old Dr. Matthews (Maurice Evans), the case is faraway to be solved, however Bob used to be walking by night at beach where he meets an eye-candy Lorna (Pamela Conway) whom starting woo her at first meeting, later his friend Jim Radford (Neil Connery) takes many photos over them at beach, however in revealing the girl didn't appear on photos just Bob, letting him know all about, after a pre schedule parachute jumping to check out what really happen during that, he received a bright red beam on the body, out of the blue Jim was found death on the base, but at night Bob has a meeting with Lorna at beach many blanc spaces must be fulfilled.

In the conclusion of the weirdo story the viewers will be baffled over so far-fetched reason of Aliens get those paratroopers, worst how Bob settles this matter, aside a superb casting the lame storyline falls apart the whole thing, some stock footage is used in the movie, a lousy FX is another low point, also a massive beauty girls on the picture improves hardly, on political cabinet, on lab, on field have many young girls driven for male audience, anyway let it see easily to less demanding.

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First watch: 1985 / How many: 2 / Source: TV-Youtube / Rating: 5.

A few minutes of well-shot footage of parachute jumps and aerobatic flying seem the real impetus for this British science fiction picture. When there are no bodies hurtling towards the ground or planes shooting past each other, what's left is a bad script with far too many scenes of men in suits talking in offices and not nearly enough science or action. Since it was made for a family audience, there isn't even much in the way of female flesh.

Patrick Allen and his improbably large chin take the lead. His character, a NATO troubleshooter, is big on the sub-James Bond womanising and tough posturing. Yet for all his smooth lines and fetching cardigans, he does curiously little to actually solve the mystery of disappearing military parachutists. Plot development consists of supporting characters waving a Geiger counter over a few things while Allen chases the girls.

George Sanders is normally a reliable figure (see the far superior Psychomania, for instance), but he is wasted here as a personality-deficient general. Hilary Dwyer has the requisite qualities for a female star, being very pretty and a great screamer. Lorna Wilde is quite fetching as a mysterious blonde, but the rest of the cast do little.

This is a competently-made film from people who understood the limitations of their budget, limitations which mean rare special effects and few action sequences. The real problem is an absence of ideas or any ambition beyond filling the screen for 90 minutes. Once all the aerial footage has been used up, what is left is a very unoriginal story with little imagination or characterisation and lots of dialogue of a "The minister isn't going to like this" type. Nonetheless, Reg Tilsley's jazz score deserves a mention, ratcheting the tension even when the most mundane action is unfolding on screen.

It's hard to recommend this film when there are so many better British exploitation films from the era; it lacks even any Austin Powers-ish campness and shows nothing of 1960s Britain. As an attempt at family-friendly science fiction from Tigon, a studio better known for its sexually-frank horror, it's a slight curio of film history. For entertainment, you're better off jumping out of a plane, or even watching an in-flight movie.

This film is worth seeing just for the opening sequence alone. A surprise from the outset leading into a thunderous Sixties-style score, before the rot sets in. There is curiosity value for a performance from Patrick Allen (The Jaw, in what nearly amounts to a leading role) and a very rare appearance of Sean Connery's brother Neil in one of only two film roles that he made that I am aware off. Mid-way the love interest on a moonlit beach really sags and does not help the film much, while the ending is a let down and even stranger to see a prop stolen from the Doctor Who film Daleks: Invasion Earth. I almost expected Peter Cushing to materialise out of.....THIN AIR!!! Still, overall I found it...quite enjoyable!!