The Unearthly

John Carradine's character, Dr. Conway, has a big problem in "The Unearthly." His experiments on a newly discovered synthetic gland keep going wrong, and as a result, all his human guinea pigs have been transformed into mutant critters that are now overcrowding his basement. We get to see this mutant collection at the end of the film, and it is both the funniest and most horrifying section of this surprisingly well-done little B picture. I say "surprising" only because most film books downplay this movie as hopeless shlock, but I found it to be fairly entertaining. Not too many unintentional laffs, and with fairly good acting, too, especially from Carradine and cult fave Allison "The 50 Foot Woman" Hayes. Tor Johnson, everyone's favorite lumbering mound of monstrous blubber, is also on hand, as Carradine's imbecilic helper, and his is always a welcome presence. Surprisingly, his character's name is Lobo...the same name he sported in Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster"!!! This may very well be Tor's finest film...but when your other credits include "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats," two of the worst ever, I suppose that's not saying too much. Compared to the other John Carradine "mad scientist" film that I saw recently, "The Astro-Zombies," "The Unearthly" is a little gem of script, acting and direction. Again, I suppose that's not saying too much. But the bottom line is, I really did have fun with this one. Give it a try!

This movie includes a number of distinguished actors playing excellent parts. John Carradine, for instance, plays a gaunt, furrow-faced scientist with a big booming authoritative scientisty voice. Myron Healy plays the mysterious Mark Houston, an average Joe who goes after the ladies with some of the lamest pick-up lines in existence ("Grace? Hmm, pretty name for a pretty girl.") The truly lovely Alison Hayes, she of the sensational chest, plays the aforementioned Grace, a knockout of a girl up to her eyeballs in emotional problems. Sally Todd, a beauty queen in real life, plays Natalie, a relatively well-adjusted knockout blonde who tragically gets turned into a smoked meat sculpture (not on purpose, of course). Marilyn Buferd is the cold, frustrated lady scientist who's carrying a torch for the gaunt furrow-faced scientist guy. Roy Gordon is the scientist-in-cahoots-with-the-other-scientists who looks like the guy on those Monopoly cards. Arthur Batanides is the neurotic palooka who spazzes out at the drop of a hat. Harry Fleer is Jedrow (_not_ Jethro), the hapless victim who looks like Abe Vigoda. And. of course, there's Tor Johnson, who's just his sweet, lovable, playful old self.

With a cast like that, how can you go wrong?

Mad doctor uses patients at his isolated psychiatric institute as subjects in his attempts to create longevity by surgically installing an artificial gland in their skulls, with disastrous results.

This film has a suspiciously low rating on IMDb, which I suspect can only be caused by one of two things (or both): its being shown on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" or its being associated with Ed Wood. Since the latter is not likely to impact it, I suspect it is the former.

And that is just too bad. Despite the lampooning, this is a decent film with good effects (the gland), a better than average plot and decent acting. We have John Carradine, a legendary actor and Carradine family patriarch. And he is surrounded by actresses who had been Miss America, a Playboy Playmate (around the same time the film came out) and more...

The script? From a man who went on to write some of the best episodes of "Star Trek". Certainly this cannot be as bad as it is made out to be. Another examination may be in order.

Dr. Conway (John Carradine) runs a strange medical home in a decayed and isolated mansion. How strange is it? Well, it's so strange that Lobo (Tor Johnson) works there.

Ed Wood occasionally receives a writing credit for this bit of 1957 drive-in dreck; in truth his only contribution to the film is the character Lobo, which is lifted directly from Wood's 1955 BRIDE OF THE MONSTER. Even so THE UNEARTHLY, scripted by John Black and Jane Mann, is certainly bad enough to be an Ed Wood movie. Unfortunately it isn't nearly as funny.

Dr. Conway's newest patient is Grace (Allison Hayes), who is unaware that the place is a front for unnatural experiments involving artificial glands. Fortunately for Grace, murder-on-the-run Mark (Myron Healey) stumbles onto the grounds and proves more than a match for the good doctor and his evil associates. Throw in Marilyn Buferd, Arthur Batanides, Sally Todd and an idea or two yanked from H.G. Wells' ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU and there you go.

By this point John Carradine had been typed in mad doctor roles and he delivers a typical John Carradine mad doctor performance. Allison Hayes, a beautiful and interesting actress who never got the breaks she deserved, is an always welcome sight--and yes, it is fun to see Tor Johnson doing his slack-jawed routine again. But in a general sense THE UNEARTLY isn't so much a badly made film as it is an utterly uninteresting one. If you're among the hardcore fans of 1950s drive in fare you might enjoy it, but I'm not holding my breath on it.

GFT, Amazon Reviewer

1957's "The Unearthly" was a six day wonder that echoes "The Black Sleep" from a year earlier, a throwback to previous decades as its scientist is primarily interested in personal glory and not aiding mankind (despite statements to the contrary), only now (in place of Basil Rathbone) John Carradine stars as the mad doctor rather than one of the failed experiments. Dr. Charles Conway offers up a multitude of scenery chewing lines for the actor to delve into, and comes off as perhaps the best such role in his lengthy career, spoofing himself magnificently in Woody Allen's 1972 "Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask," as a crazed sexual researcher whose creation is a giant female breast that attacks with both cream and milk! Like "Sleep" we again have a dungeon full of beasts (the shooting title was "House of Monsters"), with Conway in need of 'volunteers' for his glandular treatment center, in a never ending search for immortality (filming at the former home of actress Mary Pickford, subsequently used in "Terror in the Haunted House" aka "My World Dies Screaming"). Alluring Allison Hayes ("Attack of the 50 Foot Woman") plays the new arrival, followed by escaped killer Myron Healey ("Varan the Unbelievable"), who gradually learn what exactly is going on with their host and his love starved nurse (Marilyn Buferd, Miss America of 1946). The small but capable cast includes Tor Johnson, also retained from "The Black Sleep," given the same name (Lobo) that he had as Lugosi's mute assistant in Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster" (he at least has dialogue here, such as it is). By the late 50s, a period after he turned down the lead in "The She-Creature" for artistic reasons, Carradine virtually attacked each role with relish, providing a sharp contrast with underplayed performances in "Revenge of the Zombies" or "The Face of Marble," going all out for this low budget Republic success, effortlessly carrying the picture with a larger than life rendition that makes the clichés part of the fun. In sharing this he proved himself to be the equal of Vincent Price in winking to the audience, and flourished in the genre for another 30 years.