The Secret Garden

The whole steampunk theme wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst either. The acting was horrible. I could hardly tolerate it. Don't waste your money on it.

It's a steam-punk futurism adaptation of the classic Frances Hodgson Burnett novel. Mary Lennox arrives at her uncle's Misselthwaite Factory. She befriends siblings Martha Sowerby and Dickon Sowerby. She finds a secret workshop which is referred to as The Secret Garden.

At least, they are trying for something interesting. The failure is still painful to watch. The sets look like leftovers from a second hand store. Some of the actors are struggling. At some point, one can see them rambling on with their lines as if they're just going through the motion. Somebody probably got the original idea but the budget was never there to fulfil it.

This adaptation is small in scale, it looks and feels like a crowd-funded movie made for distribution online (or a made for TV movie). Unless you're willing to over-look the amateurish acting and lower overall production quality, this movie isn't for you.

The costumes are nice, it almost feels like the cast are a group of LARPers (Live Action Role-Players) who had access to a limited number of industrial locations and decided to make a movie. The aesthetic is Steam Punk, if you don't know what that is, then this movie is probably not for you.

The film-makers must have aimed for a 90 minute runtime, but they really should have condensed it down to 45-60 minutes. The story and pacing is far too slow (and dull) to keep younger audiences entertained, so if you're wanting to watch a family movie that's suitable for kids, this movie is probably not for you.

I've rated it 2/10, not because it's terrible, but because it has limited appeal. It may be passable for some people, but I believe most people will be bored if they weren't put off by the weak acting first.

Being a big fan of the original I hadn't expected much from this remake. But it really was awful. Low budget with terrible acting, it lacks any emotion or excitement. Wish I hadn't wasted an hour and a half of my evening.

For fans of Steampunk this adaptation starts out interesting enough, with excellent sets, boilers, gas masks and clothing to please. The directing was good so far as the script allowed; the shots were well-framed and the movie flowed well. Many have claimed the acting to be terrible, but really it's not (we've seen BAD acting). This is simply a Victorian setting-- welcome to stodgy and wooden. I thought the actors did well enough considering the script they were given; it's the script that was the problem.

This is not so much an adaptation of the original story as a near-total departure. No spoilers, but the last 20 minutes will leave one either "I love Steampunk!" impressed, or jaw gaping at the stupidity of the plot resolution (in most cases, I believe the later). The story has been done before and better, and while the Steampunk setting was fairly interesting... the liberties taken were disappointing.

Two significant issues: the garden itself (which has to be one of the most underwhelming gardens on the face of this planet) and a prop "doll" that is ridiculous to the point of my wondering if it will fit in the shredder. Honestly, from the moment that doll is introduced the entire plot goes down hill.

This movie regularly reminded me of the YouTube song "Glue some gears on it and call it Steampunk". The plot could have used quite a bit more polish and the ending quite a bit more-- everything. It barely achieves my 5-star "mediocre" rating. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did. Had it not been for the last 20 minutes and that ridiculous doll, I very well might have. The creators simply dropped the copper ball.