Numb

Four disposable a-holes go for a whiny stroll in the woods. These under-attired dopes are searching for treasure, but forget to bring equipment, have never seen a GPS, and can't read a map. Success is all but assured.

Do they get the gold? Do they kill one another in the process? Do they ever fricken shut up?

Who cares.

Three stars for the scenery.

"Numb" is physical proof a movie can revolve entirely around unlikeable, selfish ninnies who do nothing but stupid things, and still succeed as a visceral, edge-of-your-seat thriller.

Financially-strapped couple Will and Dawn travel to what is apparently the frigid Canadian North (it's never stated) for his new job.

They pick up secretive brother and sister hitchhikers Lee and Cheryl, and almost immediately happen upon a dying old man who carries clues to a buried fortune in gold coins. So they all decide to go on a treasure hunt.

After this really compelling setup, everything gets stupid right away.

The four set off on a hike through the frozen wilderness wearing nothing but light winter jackets, and bearing nothing but - seriously - a crowbar from the trunk of the car.

No hats, no snowshoes, no gloves, no scarves, no provisions... not even a shovel to dig up the damn gold, should they find it.

They bicker. They argue. They threaten each other, especially whenever one of them exhibits a glimmer of wisdom and suggests turning back.

These are four garbage humans. Really, you'll be rooting for the winter with this film.

And that's a good thing. What a terrific job this movie does in portraying the frozen North. "The Blair Witch Project" has nothing on the fantastic "lost in the woods" scenario this movie offers, and how it takes a physical and mental toll on these four people.

And its scenes of the actual Northern wilderness are almost indistinguishable from studio sets that would be obvious in a lesser picture. There's one scene in which a character is submerged in a river, and you'll go, "How the hell did they do that?"

While the four main characters lack in, geez, any iota of good sense, the performances and direction are almost unbelievably top notch.

The four lead characters are all ninnies, to be sure. But their actors bring to them real life and depth.

Aleks Paunovic was particularly effective as sensitive ex-con Lee. He really sells his character's tragically flawed Zen approach to life.

As the weather turns colder and their characters suffer the devastating effects of hypothermia, the actors, combined with realistic makeup effects and creative framing, really convince the viewer of the desperate nature of their situation.

"Numb," unfortunately, falls apart in the end, as all good movie ideas do when they're not fully thought out.

But it's a helluva ride getting there, and you'll be glad you invested 90 minutes of your time with it.

This was just ok. The best part was the acting. At times the story was a bit unbelievable and unrealistic. I mean why not light a fire if you have matches? Come on. This is a movie about desperate people trying to get rich or die trying, literally.

Buyer beware: I wouldn't trust anyones review whose ONLY activity is related to the movie they're reviewing,

Are these "fake" people? No. Are they all associated with the production of the movie? No Did they come to this page organically to review a movie of their own choosing? No.

I've been to movie premiers where they ask you to review them favorably on IMDb.

I politely decline, and so should you if you weren't planning on reviewing it before.

The movie is not bad.

My rating is objective.

Briefly, the movie is way better than I expected. Not a masterpiece, nothing special but worth watching. I have no deeper analysis. Period.

Except one 'detail' bothering me. I know it bothers very few of us, so please don't take me too seriously, just because I could not take the movie seriously. I happen to be a Finn, who has survived in frosty forests for the most of his miserable life.

The sub-zero conditions are hilariously unrealistic in the movie. There has to be a reason for this, right? There must be cold somewhere in Canada in winters. Maybe the production was late or something. I don't mean movies should always be realistic, but come on...

It is obviously very cold season, if not exceptionally cold winter. Characters get severe injuries of cold. Kind of damage not being possible without roughly -20°C (or -4°F) and strong wind. But as there is seemingly not that windy, it would be -40°C (or the same in °F) if not even under that. Without proper clothing you go NUMB in that environment. Then it knocks you out for good. Quickly. Before you become a half-frozen zombie.

Eyebrows seem to collect heavy ice layer, but breathing is hardly visible in most of the scenes. The ice layer usually builds up of moisture of your own breathe. Snowing looks like a rain. Because it is so warm it is practically raining.

The structure of snow around looks like it is wet and melting. Winterly rays of sun are too weak to have any effect on ice. The forest looks more like how it could look like in June in Finland... It must be around +5...10°C.

In Finland we call that summer. We go out and celebrate those rare moments of warmth, preferably naked. Well... just being honest, just paid attention to these facts, relevant or not :)