acustomer

This is sort of a strange movie. It's got an ensemble cast and doesn't make it entirely clear if there's a protagonist and who exactly it will be. But I tell you, once the protagonist emerges this movie gets awesome really quick. If the first couple of acts could just be a bit less annoying, this movie would be awesome.

Basically, the beginning of this is sort of formula. There's a lot of "oh, those pesky kids" as they're trying to kill their parents. Then finally, at some point, the parents figure out: "Hey, maybe not everyone's kids keep trying to stab them with knives." But the moral of the story is, most of the movie is spent with the adults being impossibly dense or incredibly useless in the face of any challenge.

For example, when the first person is seriously injured- nobody seems to call an ambulance. Really? Seriously? That guy looks pretty hurt, maybe you should call somebody? Or drive him to a hospital? Nawwww. That would be too intelligent. Better just all run around trying to corral those pesky kids. Now repeat this level of stupidity about a hundred times. The worst offense occurs when someone is trying to get out of a room and spends forever trying to bash the door open rather than finding a more intelligent way to leave the room (it had natural light, hence had a window, hence BREAK THE WINDOW YOU DUMMY).

But I tell you, when people finally start trying to be useful it is pretty awesome. I'm not going to spoil anything here, but I will say that the last 1/3 of the movie from the "stuck in a room" scene" has some unexpected and awesome twists. Basically, 5 of the stars I am awarding is just for the final act. I think this movie might work best if you just start it somewhere in the middle. You'll still get the general idea of things, but won't have to sit through quite as much repetitive situations before you start seeing where stuff gets interesting.

On a standard scale, I give this a 3. On a bad movie scale, maybe a 7 out of 10, however. It is pretty funny to watch at points. Let's put it this way though. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you mixed Omen, Bless the Child, Godsend, and Bram Stoker's Dracula together? Well, here it is. If the movie is about cloning, the story of the script itself would certainly be Frankenstein. It's a hodgepodge, held only together by the principle characters' abject inability to reason or otherwise engage in active problem solving.

So let's see what's similar to other films in the genre: Omen - Evil children bringing about end of days, random telekinesis, swarms of animals that can kill you despite all reason Rosemary's Baby - Elaborately contrived conspiracy to steal a kid Bless the Child - Stealing a kid to complete a ritual Godsend - Evil clones. Because clones are just somehow EVIL. It just is, don't question it. They don't have souls. Or something. Dracula - Production style and values are similar. Just a very similar feel to it.

Firstly, I want to say I did not like this movie as the logic (or lack of it) made my head want to explode. But there were still some good things: - Main character beats up a cat for no apparent reason - Main character then CRUSHES a mutated-looking rat! - Main character is duped by anyone, in any context - Daughter can't seem to state any dialog unless it's with her father, and in that case she has to just oppose whatever he says. - Main character wanders around lots of places purely to advance the plot, when he should realistically be doing something useful. - Evil magic farmer? Somebody has evil magic omen-like powers, without him otherwise being explained. I assumed he was either an evil farmer or evil welfare recipient. In any case, he doesn't do much except lay about and cause unfortunate accidents.

As you can see, there are some things that can be quite amusing in this movie. If you're willing to watch it in the right way, it's kind of like seeing Inspector Clouseau trying to solve a case. All the guy ever does is bumble about, but somehow he learns everything that is going on. Except what's right in front of his nose.

Of course, there are many things that suck about this movie. These include: - The plot. Ugg. Ugg ugg. I'm willing to put up with a little bit of random senseless rituals in a horror movie of this caliber, but these were ridiculous. - The dialog. Serviceable, but that's all. The father-daughter interactions are pretty funny though, as they sometimes seem to be thinking "Okay, let's just get through this scene and move on now." Also, the evil character just seems to blurt out random things constantly (and amusingly). Fine, that didn't suck so much... - The action sequences. If you want the bad guys to look scary, this movie is a good example of what not to do. - The plot. Seriously. The holes in this plot are all that hold it together. If there were less holes, you might start noticing more of them. Instead, you feel like you're lulled into a dreamlike state of shutting down rational thought. i.e. "Sure, continue inspecting these useless materials while your daughter is missing. Makes about as much sense as how you got here in the first place."

I'm torn on this movie. It's more fun to watch than it should be. Ghosts of Mars is basically an action flick, mixed with a bit of zombie hordes (who are actually aliens in human hosts, so they spread differently, but whatever). The baddies are convincing bad, the good guys have split allegiances, so far so good.

The issue is of course... the plot. The characters just do one thing after another that make you want to put your head in your hands and say "Why? Why would you do that?" I mean, the hordes of bad guys you expect that from. They're the bad guys. They can be dumb. But the good guys! Oh the good guys. Watching them try to plan strategically is like proctoring redo exams for a remedial math class. A bit frustrating and a bit sad. They seem to have just enough intelligence to allow them do choose the wrong action every single time.

There's also an exceptional amount of convenient situations that allow the plot to move forward. It's no good. You can try to ignore it, but you can't. If they could have been just a BIT better at glossing over the plot holes and contrivances, this could be a really fun movie. Instead it's fun, mixed with "GAH! THIS MAKES NO SENSE AND ENRAGES ME!" I think that is why opinion gets so polarized on this. If you can just say "Aww, they're shooting stuff and it's fun." then it's good. If you say "This plot hole makes me sad," then you probably won't like it.