AngryMovieNerd

Invasion U.S.A. (1985) is a mess in its own absurdity. It's an idiotic movie meant to be a star vehicle for Chuck Norris. Not one minute did I believe in anything that was happening on the screen. Not one.

The movie stars Chuck Norris as a former agent who is recruited to take down a vicious terrorist leader named Rostov, whose intent is to bring total anarchy upon America by blowing things that have an American-style image to them, such as churches, shopping malls and neighborhoods.

This includes a really vile scene in which his gang use bazookas to destroy a suburban neighborhood.

The movie was co-written by Norris and his brother, Aaron, a stunt coordinator for Lone Wolf and Code of Silence. Those movies at least had thrilling action sequences, and interesting characters. Invasion U.S.A. movie is full of plot holes, one-dimension characters, continuity errors, and lots of violence.

Norris is wooden as his action hero, who only arrives when needed. Here, he arrives at the place of the action, sports a one-liner or two, outsmarts the bad guys, and then blows them away. He has very little dialogue in this movie, much like Charles Bronson in the Death Wish sequels. Let's face it: he's just a mindless symbol of violence.

The movie even attempts to make an invisible figure; Like a horror movie character, one moment, the bad guys'll see him, but when they turn away, he's gone just like that. It works in some of his films, but here, it's been overused and it's just plain ridiculous.

Melissa Prophet plays the movie's most annoying and thankless character, though, a loud, foul-mouthed reporter, who stands around at the scenes of all the many violent crimes in this movie, snapping photographs and being angry. There is no depth to this character, she's just the token female sidekick who also comes when needed.

The movie was made Cannon Films, which sometimes made good movies and more often made a lot of bad ones. Their marketing ploy was that a big-time action star will help their movies make millions. It's the same attempt that destroyed Charles Bronson's career and Chuck Norris seemed to following in the same footsteps. I would choose an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger over this any day.

Rawhead Rex (1986) is proof that filmmakers can lack any sense of creativity given a low budget and a list of unknowns to make a movie. The film's scriptwriter, Clive Barker, has every right to be disappointed at the final result.

A monster known as Rawhead is resurrected from his underground prison and decides to wreak bloody havoc on an Irish countryside by killing and eating the town's residents. It's up to a visiting American father (David Dukes) to convince the police that a monster is really on the loose.

There's not a shred of creativity or believability to be found within its characters (but at least a group of dumb teenagers know it's not right to go out in the woods alone). The characters are dumb and boring and the monster is just what it looks like: a deformed rubber ape with glowing red lights in its eyes to show that it's angry. Compared to the other terrifying movie monsters of our time, Rawhead Rex is one that stoops at the bottom of the barrel.

What's laughable is the story and its crucial plot points. Be amazed at how the cops discover that there's really a monster on a rampage. The baffling ending involving cheesy special effects. And oh, you can't forget this one: a scene in which the monster literally urinates on a priest who worships him.

The death scenes are hardly creative. They make the ones in the Freddy and Jason movies look like art.

Not a lot of resources went into this movie and it shows. If I could, I would name a lot of low-budget films that are more better than this one. Some come in mind, though. How about the one where Clive Barker took the director's chair a year later?

****NOTE: Referring to the Unrated Version****

A retired military commando (Dale Murphy) decides to host a reality show, where the young participants are challenged to survive in a remote West Virginia wasteland. Little do they know that the woods is home to a breed of deformed cannibalistic hillbillies, who are picking them off one by one.

I don't think I have anything good to say about Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007), and why would I? Here is a movie that is so sick and cynical in its relentless violence and torture scenes, that it led me to the hearts of the filmmakers. Why was this movie even made?!

The characters are, more or less, the usual set of teenagers we've seen in countless other horror movies, from the jock, the womanizer, the "odd girl" who could care less, and the spoiled brat. But imagine the sick message this movie has for its teen viewers: The primary function of teens is to be hacked to death, no matter what their dreams and hopes are.

I enjoy a good horror movie sometimes. Some have a plot, some don't, and of course, there are ones that about as bad as this one.

The original film, while not a great one, was at least atmospheric and suspenseful. Wrong Turn 2, on the other hand, is 90 minutes of teenagers being introduced and then being stabbed, tortured impaled, chopped up, and mutilated. It's like watching a film written by a perverted scriptwriter. That's all this movie is. It is just mindless, bloody violence. I felt guilty just watching this movie.

And by not giving too much away, the movie opens doors for another sequel. Someone should tell them they've already taken the bucket to the cesspool by making this one.