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The Perfect Date

The ideal date would be to have the other person look like the photo they had posted online.

Conversely, the escort in this romantic-comedy will look like anyone his patrons want him to.

Desperate to get into Yale, Brooks (Noah Centineo) agrees to take a fellow classmate's cousin (Laura Marano) out in exchange for a fee. Running with this idea, he enlists his IT friend to create a dating app that allows users to customize his appearance and attitude for the date. But as he racks up rendezvouses, he repulses those he loves, includes a rich girl (Camila Mendes) he's trying to impress.

While this comedy based on the novel may offer a few good zingers and pointed critiques on modern courting, it is drastically miscast and adheres to rom-com formula so rigidly that it becomes painfully predictable.

Luckily, being a teenage prostitute is good experience for your post-graduate work. Yellow Light

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Miss Bala

Thanks to all of the vacant space in their heads, beauty pageant contestants make for the best border mules.

Regrettably, the cartel in this action movie made the mistake of selecting a make-up artist instead.

While visiting her pageant contestant friend down south, Gloria (Gina Rodriguez) witnesses a gang shooting. But when she goes to the authorities, they take her straight to the gang responsible. Now she must run guns and money across the US border or else they will kill her friend. Meanwhile, the DEA (Anthony Mackie) is also using Gloria to gather Intel on the gang.

Featuring some of the worst dialogue ever uttered, not to mention the most banal action even scenes recorded, this needlessly convoluted adaptation of the Mexican original is all over the place and nowhere all at once.

Besides, the best way to smuggle across the US border is to label shipments: Border Wall Material. Red Light

Glass

The toughest part to having a disabled archenemy is beating up their service animal.

Fortunately, the wheelchair-bound baddie in this fantasy has support from a powerful partner.

As the split personalities of The Horde (James McAvoy) continue kidnapping victims for it's dominate persona to ravage, indestructible David (Bruce Willis) scours the city for him. Just as the two are set to face-off, both enhanced humans are apprehended then sent to a psychiatrist (Sarah Paulson) specializing in superheroes for study. Joining the analysis is the immobile psycho (Samuel L. Jackson) who was instrumental in both men's transformation.

The sequel to Split and the final chapter of the Unbreakable legacy, writer/director M. Night Shyamalan returns to the unconventional superhero genre he nurtured decades earlier. Unfortunately, his return is marred by monotonous pacing, half-ass twists and underused characters.

On the bright side, handicapped superheroes have larger bathroom stalls to change their costumes in. Red Light