fuggybootnling

So I was staying at my parent's place, and couldn't sleep, so I pulled the paperback of "Mommie Dearest" off my mom's bookshelf. I knew a lot of the story already - hell, it stuck in my head as a kid who heard his mom gasp about this book (I was six when it came out) but I was curious to read the whole story.

Here's the thing - it's really a pretty bad movie, but the story itself could be great. First problem I saw is that it's not a Christina Crawford movie, but a Joan Crawford one. It's interesting that now I'm reading some stuff online and that's Tina's POV on it too. The book is about being raised by Joan Crawford, and numerous scenes happened that Christina simply wasn't party to. Secondly, the script is utterly atrocious - no continuity, no semblance of a storyline, stuff just happens willy nilly. I think we can all agree on that. As for the campiness? Here's the thing: it would have worked well in bursts, in smaller doses. So the wire hanger scene actually might not be so laughable in isolation, but combined with every other scene with Dunaway being in a psychotic rage it's just too much.

I actually did enjoy the book a lot, and I really wish someone would have the guts to make a good movie out of this, as I think it could very well be done. Here's how for starters: 1. Start the movie with the strangling scene, stop just before Joan lunges on her, and have Christina make the point that that was the first time she really stood up to her mother hard.

2. Then flash back. Do voice overs...like, I'm almost thinking Goodfellas structure in storytelling here. Write it from the kid's standpoint - write how SHE perceived what was happening, since - DUH! - that's how the book was written! 3. DO NOT do the wire hangers scene. It would be impossible to take seriously at this point. Focus instead on the daily minutiae of living with a bipolar control freak. That's more what I got from the book.

4. I would actually end the movie before the book was done - when Christina was out on her own, earning her own living. Perhaps a last scene at the funeral, years later. Again, focus on what the book focused on - the years of Christina under her mother's thumb.

I think it could be done, and done very well.

But I did...and you know what? I was entertained, in a weird, strange, bizarre way. I find the Olsen Twins fascinating because they have literally been acting since before they could SPEAK, starting on one of the all time lousiest sitcoms, to making a string of incredibly lousy videos and the occasional movie (I'm sick - I watched "It Takes Two" as well) So the thing is if it wasn't the Olsen Twins in this movie - just some random set of genetically related actresses - I fully know I wouldn't have enjoyed it nearly as much. But...it wasn't, it was this freakish duo who have been on camera since they were in diapers and who collectively are worth about a gazillion dollars having appealed to a whole generation of girls that are now rapidly growing up with them.

As such, it was fascinating to see just how they set about making this transition. Some flirting with guys...but nothing too serious. A little skin shown...but in a discreet, non-lascivious way. How DO they make this flip into adulthood anyway? If you've built your entire career and empire upon being kids speaking to kids...what happens when you grow up? This film was a stab at that, and a pretty good one.

Good pacing, good support from costars Eugene Levy and Andy Richter, and some fun, crazy antics. Just eliminate that damn hair salon scene! So in sum...check your brain at the door, and be entertained not as much by the antics in the movie as by the strange, bizarre transition Mary Kate and Ashley are attempting here. It's a heroic attempt, and not entirely unsuccessful.

It's no cinematic masterpiece, but to give this movie zero stars is rather harsh. I knew Gillian Anderson had some nude scene at some point or another, but it only once I saw it (and scratched by head thinking "Hey - isn't that Gillian Anderson?") that I realized this was that movie.

But still, it's not that bad a film. The performances seemed quite competant to me, the character's motivations made sense, and the ending wasn't quite what I would have predicted. In fact, they did a good bait and switch by cutting to an exterior shot of Karen Allen's house during the climax.

I've seen many, MANY worse films than this...I wouldn't seek it out, but it's reasonably entertaining if there's nothing else on. Three out of five stars.