Cirquemm

Several words crossed my mind upon leaving the theater after seeing 'The Village,' like "blindingly awful" and "raucous trash." One possible reason for this could be that the film projector malfunctioned at least four times during the movie, but the more likely reason probably is that 'The Village' was blindingly awful, raucous trash, and I would have been better off seeing that stupid Anne Hathaway movie. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually all up for hyped, mid-summer thrillers that shouldn't involve thinking (see my review for 'Open Water.' Actually I HATED that movie. You'd better see my review for 'Final Destination 2'), but this particular film proved wrong my very great expectations. The only thing worse than the disjointed, but surprisingly complicated plot was the lame twist ending that seemed to fall flat on its face (don't worry, I won't ruin it for you). Anyway, I'm not going to waste any more time on this movie than I already have. SASSY That's all. Read my other reviews.

I didn't think it possible for someone to make such crap out of the perfect storyline: A sexy (gratuitous sex scene at beginning of movie) couple is abandoned in the middle of shark-infested waters. After seeing 'Open Water' I was so frustrated that I had wasted my afternoon that I was compelled to write this dissatisfied review at 1:30 at night.

I, personally was won over by the highly intriguing trailers promising "the scariest movie of the summer" and "sass that will blow your mind," however I found myself bored and hungry after the first ten minutes, and found myself wanting to kill myself after the first twenty minutes. The movie could have been twice as tolerable if the two actors didn't speak; We watched them complain and cry about how unpleasant their vacation has been for about fifteen minutes.

The best review I can give right now is this: After an hour and twenty minutes of 'Open Water' I felt extremely nauseated, not because of the constant bobbing up and down of the actors, or the lack of plot and substance, or the dizzying camera angles, but because I knew that I sat through such a useless movie that I was actually stupider for doing so.

Final Destination 2 blows the original FD out of the water with 2X the violence, random decapitations, nudity, and impalings. It is the exact same story line as the first movie, with one dangerous difference; the entire cast is younger, sexier, and juicier. Joining the brand new faces is our old friend, the sassiest final destinator there ever was…Clear Rivers, otherwise known as Bangs. Unfortunately, she lost the bangs and the sass, but what she lacked in attitude, she made up for in crazy. Another familiar face is the sintling mortuary owner who lives in an underground cave for some reason. He teaches Clear Rivers and some other girl a passionate lesson about Death that they will not soon forget--not even if they tried; no, no. In conclusion, Final Destination 2 proves to be the only movie that can crush a young boy with a giant plate of glass with class and poise.