macenthe

I was amazed when I found out that they were making a sequel to the horror that was the first Dungeons & Dragons movie. Despite the poor quality all around of the first one some people gave the source the benefit of the doubt and were willing to try it again. Thankfully this time the source material was taken more seriously and the project was put into better hands.

The result is a decent film with a comprehensible story, and decent production quality. The cast is by no means A-list, or even B-list; though they do well in their respective roles. The effects are alright, but if the movie had a better budget it would have been even better.

All things being equal this movie is superior to the first. DnD folks out there should like it and appreciate the detail taken to make sure the source material comes through correctly. It's a mixed bag on how much other people will like it. If you are willing to look past the lower grade special effects, and the cast of unknowns then you might enjoy it.

To say Torque is retarded would be unfair; to retarded people. I would not want to compare Torque to any group of people regardless of mental or physical state. The unfortunate souls who paid to see this movie should be pitied, and professional help sought. This movie is that bad. Here's why...

1) The movie is only 80 minutes long. For a 'mainstream' mass distribution movie that is short. The viewer should be thankful though because the suffering won't be that long. Also, the story itself couldn't take much more stretching.

2) The story is cliché, and not even in a fun way. It is mind numbingly straight forward. The only twist in the movie isn't surprising, and the plot is about as thick as the vacuum of space.

3) The acting and dialogue. Oh, it's very hard not to be sarcastic. The only thing worse than the acting is the dialogue being delivered by said acting. It is very clear that the writer was inspired by a high school hall fight. The delicate prose fluttering off the tongues of cast is so artificial and ridiculous it would make real gangsters vomit.

Torque makes many attempts poking fun at the Fast and the Furious, failing spectacularly at all of them. It's hard for Torque to make fun when it sucks so much worse than Fast & Furious.

4) The effects and editing are poor, to say the least. During the big fight scene in the garage I thought my cable was skipping from the abrupt and choppy camera changes. It turns out the editor is also an idiot.

5) Abuse of product placement. This is the most grievous of Torque's crimes. I was compelled NOT to buy Pepsi products after watching this movie. It's hard to take the fight between the two main female characters when every other shift in the scene places one of them in front of an enormous Mountain Dew or Pepsi billboard (that is clean and pristine looking despite being under a bridge at a farmers market).

Not withstanding all the things already said on why the movie is bad is also the vast amount of technical errors violating physical and natural law. I leave this to experience yourself should you choose to see this movie (which I hope you won't). If you do watch it at least you can get a laugh from the sheer absurdity of it all.

2/10