MrMeatHook

Last night my wife and I watched this movie. It's about a man who builds a Time Machine with parts he found on the dark web. But it doesn't transport them back in time. Instead, it opens a portal to hell, from which killer clowns spew forth. It's written and directed by a man named Mark Holmberg. I say written, but I don't think it was written, because the dialogue felt improvised. But the actors unfortunately didn't have the acting skill to pull off improv. This movie is bad. Not unwatchable, but bad. It's extremely low budget, and some of the decisions made for lighting and camera angles are straight up perplexing. There are a bunch of clowns, but they all wear the exact same costume and mask. And by costume, what I really mean in lab coat turned backwards and has orange polka dots spray painted onto them. And by a bunch of clowns, I mean the same person is every clown. There is quite a bunch of CGI in this... but it all looks like video toaster plug ins. If you don't like low budget, apparently untrained filmmaking, skip it. But, if you like stuff that's unintentionally hilarious, check it out. 4 out of 10 meathooks.

If you take your movies very seriously, and can't enjoy a self-aware ridiculous movie, you'll be miserable.

But, if you like your movies to be silly, and break the fourth wall, with jokes that are outdated by at least 20 years. You're going to have a blast.

Also, if you're looking for a gut munching zombie flick with loads of gore, you're going to be extremely disappointed. This movie puts the stoner comedy first, and the horror last. The gore is actually very minimal for a zombie movie. The story focuses much more on the stoner buddy adventure aspects of the story.

That said, this movie is a blast. It's got great jokes, that usually land, a great cast with great chemistry, and a fun story. Are these professional actors? No. But they're acting their hearts out anyways. Also, this fun little romp has a cameo from rapper/actor Cartoon Bondurant, who I had the pleasure of directing in the upcoming stoner comedy/horror Ssssstoner Snake (2025)

It would be easy to argue that a 9 is too high, perhaps WAY too high, for Blood Red River Bed. Being filmed almost entirely at night, and shot on glorious movile phone, by filmmakers who didn't go to film school, there are definitely some scenes that are hard to see, and the audio is uneven. But what this movie lacks in technical prowess, it makes up for in heart! First time filmmakers Darrell and Danny Strickland, sent out to make the first slasher movie filmed in the heart of the Cherokee Nation, and they did exactly that. It's a fun throwback to the slashers of yore. It's a fun movie to partake of some of your favorite adult beverages and/or herbal refreshments, shut off your brain, and have a great time.