Go_rated_R

I hate Freddy Prinze jr. And this is no better then all his horrible movies. He is just no good. I have seen other teen's comments saying on how only adults dislike this movie. I have news for all those girls: I am not an adult, and I HATED this movie.

Notice how the trailers clearly say: "If your hot, then you'll like this movie!" Ok, that's wrong. What they meant to say is: "If your a ditzy airhead, than you'll love this "romantic comedy" made my people who don't even know what they're doing."

The plot is predictable, the acting is horrible, the directing sucks, and Mathew Lillard is a loser. Sorry, but it's the truth. It's the worst movie of the year, and it will be forgotten faster than you will forget this comment.

I'll spare you the explanation, just don't ever waste your money, ok?

0/10

The movie Scary Movie opened last year and became a blockbuster. Why? I have no clue. Apparently, giant sperm fountains, penises, boobs, farts, and especially smoking pot, are funny. I can't believe this movie comes from the creators of The Wayan Brothers. The Wayan Brothers was a television show with the two brothers Sean and Marlon. They were f-u-n-n-y. Now, the brothers are back, but this time the director is the older brother Keenon Ivory. The humor looks a lot like There's Something About Mary, but there's one slight difference. TSAM wasn't completely sick and it was hilarious! Scary Movie is the kind of movie that should get NC-17, but doesn't. That means anyone can go in. A boy I know, he's 7 years old, and he was aloud going to Scary Movie with his cousin, who is 11. Is that justice? You haven't heard nothing yet.

The plot is similar to Scream. In fact, it's the exact same as Scream, except the characters are a bunch of dumba**es. The plot goes a little in IKWYDLS, but still maintains Scream. This is mixed with penises, boobs, farts, giant sperm fountains, and the killer who smokes pot. News Flash! The killer is smoking pot, saying he is F'ing stoned, and absolutely no one in the audience is laughing. Is that justice? I'm not done yet.

The Wayan brothers are not even funny. Apparently, smoking pot is "cool" and "funny", but actually marijuana should not be treated like this. Saving Grace treated marijuana with elegance, on the other hand. To have a good comedy (and I mean at LEAST good), the jokes have to be given at the right moment and at the right time. They have to also be delivered with elegance. Scary Movie did not. Scary Movie did not contain pazzazz at all, unless you count the sort of humor portrayed here "pazzazz". TSAM, on the other hand, contained enough gags and pazzazz to make absolutely everyone laugh. Why? Because the Farrelly Brothers directed it. Not a complete amateur like Keenon Ivory Wayans.

Keenon Ivory Wayans has starred in a lot of parodies, like I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. Scary Movie is a disgrace. It shouldn't even called a "parody". It should be called a "sick blockbuster with absolutely no pazzazz". Hello MPAA! Rate this movie right. It should be NC-17 for: non-stop sick and disgusting humor. The movie Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th, very similar to Scary Movie, was funnier. SIYKWIDLFTT was actually more hilarious than Scary Movie. It was funnier because it contained original gags. Scary Movie had enough clichés. SO MANY clichés, that it got REALLY TIRING. NO ONE laughed, NO ONE cared, and what's up with the ending? It sucks! SIYKWIDLFTT was produced before Scary Movie, and it looks like Scary Movie should've copied that instead of adding a bunch of sick and twisted humor and a WHOLE LOT of clichés to the plot of Scream.

At some point in the movie, after saying "Sick", "Gross" or "Ewww" about a 100 times, I wanted to go to Blockbuster and rent a Monty Python. Any Monty Python. Hello people! The Monty Pythons are sitting on the shelf in the comedy section, waiting for someone to enjoy them and find out what a REAL parody looks like. The Monty Pythons are original, contain pazzazz, and no SICK HUMOR! My only recommendations would be NOT to rent Scary Movie, but rent a Monty Python. I suggest "The Holy Grail" or "Life of Brian".

Anna Farris, playing the main character "Cindy" was the only funny actress. The brand new actress is very funny, and should not have starred in such a bad movie. Even though she is the only redeeming quality, the movie should not even be given 1 star. The horrible Dude, Where's My Car contained much more redeeming qualities than Scary Movie, and that is NOT a good thing. The people who actually "like" Scary Movie are those who say it's "cool", and those people are either mentally challenged or are 7 years old and don't know what "sperm" actually is yet.

Parodies like ANY Monty Python or Scream If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th, are the only "parodies" I can recommend. In fact, Scary Movie should not even be called a "parody" or even a "comedy", but just a should-have-been-NC-17-piece-of-sick-and-twisted-crap movie. Then again, it shouldn't even be called a "movie". Ok, I'm getting annoying. You have been warned. I can't belive there is a sequel.

0/10 (No comment)

David Lynch, the director who is also the master of creepiness and darkness, has directed a film called Bule Velvet. Blue Velvet is dark and creepy, just like the rest of Lynch's films. It's about a young man who discovers a decapitated ear on his way from the hospital. The ear, police say, has been cut off with scissors. This striked me right then. Scissors. David Lynch, get it? Anyway, they get the DNA tests and it belonged to a singer. So the young man decides to investigate, and ends up falling in love with the singer. Little does he know her boyfriend Frank is a psycho and also the Frank is keeping the singer's son as a hostage.

Great performances. This, in 1986, was David Lynch's oscar-nominated directing. This is the first film I view from David Lynch and all I have to say is that I was and am immediately a fan. The future of film-noir rests in the hands of this film. Blue Velvet was actually a very dark drama with much more to it than darkness, but characters that stand very bizzare. I don't know where the young man gets his courage to try and sneak on the singer, I don't get the singer's craving for someone to slap her, and I certainly don't get Frank's air-mask thing. That was creepy, and Lynch left the characters a mystery for us.

Some say that the actress that plays the singer has been taken advantage of. News flash! Her son is kidnapped, her husband's dead and she has a psycho "boyfriend". She deserves what she gets coming to her. Don't worry, she doesn't die, if that's what you're thinking. She just suffers, so she has to feed to her needs. She actually doesn't stand there like a helpless child, but stands up for her rights. So no, she isn't taken advantage of.

Laura Dern is in this movie! I love her! She plays the young man's other girlfriend. With everything going on around her, she should have gained an academy award for best supporting actress. Dennis Hopper plays Frank. Dennis Hopper is an amazing actor, and is really good at playing the bad guy. Come on! He played the bad guy in Mario Brothers for God's sake! Anyways, he WAS nominated for best supporting actor, but that was for the golden globes. I'm glad David Lynch got a nomination for best director. One scene he shows us ants feeding away on other ants, and when a high part comes, and ends, he shows us a candle burning out. Even when he shows the singer's extremely red lips while she is giving order to slap her, David Lynch's directing shines.

This was one of the most controversial films of the 80's. Well, it was the 80's. There wasn't really anything to talk about except for Blue Velvet. Blue Velvet isn't exactly an audience-friendly film. Some just don't like it because they don't like the "darkness" or it's too "boring", even though it absolutely isn't. That's a terrible insult for David Lynch. Only if you are ready to hear "the ear has been cut off with scissors" and prepared for David Lynch's magnificent directing style, see Blue Velvet. Don't rent this movie to expect another "Gone with the wind", because it's not that kind of drama. Or even if you are looking for something "different", see Blue Velvet. If you are too scared to be disapointed, like I was before viewing this film, rent David Lynch's The Straight Story. Unlike Blue Velvet, The Straight story is "G" rated and completely light. But come on! You must love Lynch in his "normal" directing style, so rent Blue Velvet.

Get ready to be amazed. Blue Velvet has David Lynch written all over it, and in case you hate Lynch and don't like "darkness", go away. To put it this way, this the first and only film I've seen of David Lynch, and I loved it. It's that easy. So, I recommend Blue Velvet to every kind of person I've mentioned above.

9/10 (RENT IT)