AhmedDaReviewer

I've been playing video games throughout all my life basically, and 2D & 3D platformers are some of my favorite video game genres of all time. I've played every Crash Bandicoot game, I've played a lot of Mario games, and I've played way too many Sonic games (even though most of them aren't even that good), and for some reason I've never played a single DKC game, even though I've only heard good things about them, so I gave it a try, and oh my god, this game has to have one of the biggest dips in quality I've ever encountered in a video game.

BUT let's start with the positive first. The game looks absolutely beautiful. I know a lot of these old 2D games that pretend to have 3D graphics end up looking terrible in retrospect, but I honestly think the game still holds up today (graphics-wise at least). Rare really knew how to take advantage of the 3D pre-rendered graphics. And the music... the music in this game is amazing. The DKC soundtrack is iconic obviously. There's not a single thing I can add to what most people have already said about it, so I won't. Just know that the music in the game is absolutely amazing and very atmospheric, and it fits every level it appears in. David Wise is not a legend for no reason, his music really makes the game worth it.

Even the controls and how the characters move feel amazing. Diddy Kong is a lot more fun to control than DK because he's smaller. Even though they basically control the same, DK has a useless ground slam attack that Diddy can't do, but you're not really missing much if you don't use it. I see a lot of people online saying that Diddy is better because he (apparently) has a smaller hit box, I honestly didn't notice a difference gameplay-wise. There's a jump button (duh) and a run button (which you will probably be holding for the majority of the game), and that's it, very simple, but it's not bad honestly.

So, I like the music and the graphics and how the game controls. What's the problem here then? The biggest problem in this game is unfortunately the level design. This game, no joke, has some of the worst level design I've ever seen in a video game. The game was so much fun at the start, I won't be lying. Yes, there were some awful minecart and barrel shooting levels where you had like half a second to react to obstacles, but other than that, it was very fun. Up until the start of the 4th world, where the game just kind of stopped trying to be fair.

Levels like 'Poison Pond' & 'Snow Barrel Blast' & 'Elevator Antics' where the enemies just spawn in the most "bet ya didn't see that one coming, did ya?" way and then the game pretends that it was my fault, and I don't mind a game being hard, Don't get me wrong. I love a difficult game every once in a while, but the camera barely lets you see what's in front of you, and then they give you like, half a second to react to the obstacle, It's just not fun, It just feels like I'm losing because the game is poorly designed, not because I'm bad at the game (Even though, I'm not that good at the game, I'm being honest here). Basically, how much you love the game, all depends on how much you want to pretend that these problems doesn't exist (Does that make sense?). Because this game is not a case where you go 'Oh yeah, I like this design choice, but I understand why some people wouldn't like it.' NO, the game is honestly just badly designed for the most part. It's incredible how nostalgia can affect how some people perceive something as a 'masterpiece,' even if it's not even that good (I hope that made sense lol).

And even if you pretend that the level design issues and the unfair enemy placement doesn't exist, the game still has a lot of issues, like how you can't exit a level until you complete it for some reason. Or how repetitive the game can be. How boring, and easy the boss fights are, compared to the rest of the game, How annoying some of the secrets can be, and how your lives always reset to 4 every time you turn off your console, which makes finding the golden animal statues useless, which makes finding secret rooms useless because most of them just contain one.

Like, I literally can't understand how some people say this game is "one of the best games ever made" when I'm out here pretty much just kind of forcing myself to enjoy it. Yes, the game has a lot of charm. The characters, music, and graphics are amazing, but in the end of the day, this is a VIDEO GAME, and the game part is honestly.. really lackluster.

I'm currently playing Donkey Kong Country Returns on the Wii, and.... yeah, It's like one hundred million times better than this game, I will always respect Rare for laying the blueprint for Retro Studios to make the fantastic modern DKC games, but the first game in this iconic series is unfortunately a chore to get through more than anything (for me at least). I really wanted to like it, but I (for the life of me) just couldn't. I will try the second and third game later, but I'm honestly not rushing it, and I'm sorry if this review was too harsh; I just needed to vent, okay? Lol

And of course, Thanks for reading!

Let me start off the review by saying that the original DKC Returns is probably one of the best 2D platformers ever made and one of my favorite Wii games personally, From the graphics to the level design to the fantastic music, how much the Kong buddies change how you approach the game and then add to that the animal buddies that also totally change how you can play the game, It's honestly amazing how well has the game aged through the years, It's fantastic.

If it wasn't for this one problem though (which is unfortunately goes for most Wii games) is the forced motion controls, Why Nintendo why, They didn't even give you the option to use traditional controls or at least use a gamecube controller like Mario Kart: Double Dash, Even time you basically had to anything in this game you had to shake the wiimote and it got old, really quickly.

So when I heard that they remastered the game on the 3DS and with a traditional control scheme, I was like "Okay, This it it, The is the best way to play this game" But OMG was I wrong..

First of all, Why the 30fps, The looks worse and graphically which is okay I guess, It's the 3DS in the end of the day, It's a handheld video game console, What do you expect but like come on, If you played this game before on the Wii, You'll know that the game is all about precision, If you don't react fast enough, You're done, especially on the dreaded Minekart levels, The developers knew on the Wii and made the game run on 60fps, I'm not tech 120fps type of guy but even I thinks thats terrible, and I wish that was the only thing wrong with this port, The controls are just not responsive enough..

The grab button just doesn't work for some reason, I don't know how to explain it, The grab doesn't register when you press the button, It register after you stop pressing the button.. Why, Who designs a game like that, I went and played the Wii version after playing this port and it wasn't like that, You press the grab button, DK grabs the thing.. You know, like any other game in existence, and when want to roll with DK (while using Diddy), You must mash the the roll button, again why, Just let me hold the button for the love of God, I know the Wii original also made you keep shaking the Wiimote to roll but this a remaster, It's supposed to fix the problems, but multiple them, and apparently the new switch re-release is based on this version so god help the switch users..

The best way to play Donkey Kong Country Returns in 2025 is on PC using the Dolphin emulator, Pump up the resolution to HD, Bind the controls to your Xbox or PlayStation controller (Personally, I use an Xbox controller), Bind the shake function to the right trigger, Jump to the "A button" and Grab to the "X button", You can now play DKC Returns on your PC with beautiful HD graphics, and a modern control scheme, You can thank me later.

And yeah, Apparently this version has a couple of new levels, It's really nothing to write home about, Apparently they wasn't even developed by Retro Studios, So.. do with that information as you will.

And I know a 1 outta 10 is kind of harsh (Because it is) but I REALLY didn't enjoy my time with this game, So sorry if this port was your childhood or whatever, I really didn't like it.

And of course, thank you for reading.

Let's start with the good first, The game looks great, Art style wise I mean, How everything looks with the stylized glass-like graphics (If you could call it that), It looks really good, Seriously big props for the art department guys, The story is fine, and the music is great but in the end of the day, this is a video game, What's important here is the gameplay, and the gameplay is unfortunately not that great..

Serial Cleaner (Great title btw) is an adventure/stealth story-driven video game that takes place in the 70s, So when I learned that this game is stealth only, I expected the stealth to be good at least, but no, The stealth (which this whole game is based on) feels really half-baked and underdeveloped for some reason.

Your character can't do anything expect cleaning blood off the floor and carrying dead bodies, That's it, which can be fun for a while, but not for a 5 hour paid video game, There's just not enough meat on the bone here to make this game worth your while..

Another problem is how the enemies behave, The cops in this game are very unpredictable, and they don't turn around slowly to give a chance to hide or anything, They just turn, So I have to watch their whole walk cycle, memorize it and THEN finally, I can go and try to win the level, which basically just turns the whole thing into a waiting game, and believe it or not, That's not a very fun game to play..

And that's very unfortunate, because I really wanted to love this game seriously, but I ended up just being bored and disappointed more than anything.

If really wanted to play a top-down stealth game, You're better off playing "Robbery Bob: Man of Steal", It's also kind of repetitive and very easy but It's alot better than this game, and It's on Steam for like 3 dollars, So you're not exactly wasting your life savings on it, and hopefully the developers' next game will be better, Because don't get me wrong, They very talented, They just need to focus on the right things if they really wanted to make a great video game.

Thanks for reading!