2001Rulz

Okay, I'm probably going to get a lot of hate mail after people read this review, but I thought Being John Malkovich was an awful movie. And if not awful, then certainly overrated. The only reason I rented this movie (thank God I didn't waste $6.50 on it at the theater) was because all of my friends/relatives were saying what a great movie it was. And it didn't sound that bad at first---the plot outline actually sounded pretty interesting. And not to say that the acting wasn't good, either, but for some reaosn, I just did NOT like this film. AT ALL. First of all, if you think this movie is "funny" or "hilarious," then your sense of humor is way way beyond mine. I thought the idea of the 7th-and-a-half floor was humorous, a few of the little jokes at the beginning were okay, but after that, I didn't laugh at all. Considering this is supposed to be mostly a comedy, it makes the movie very boring.

Second, the movie is just too weird and unbelieveable for me. And the weird thing is, I love cult films and strange movies. I have no problem with bizarre supernatural powers in movies and actually like that kind of thing. Being John Malkovich....I don't know, you just don't get it. Okay, when the building with the portal was built, how did the portal get there? I am still trying to figure out this part. The Lester guy showed us pictures of the office building with the portal inside of it being built---where does the opening to John Malkovich come into being? How does it work? It's just too radical for me to accept and it's probably one of the reasons I didn't like the movie. Another part that had me wondering was when Lottie was chasing Maxine with the gun and they went from the locker room to the bus.....oh, never mind, I'm just getting more confused. It was not brilliant, it was weird. There's a difference.

Third, the whole plot, when you really boil down to it, is about a perverted puppteer (Craig) who wants to have sex with his coworker. That's it. And the rest is just the scenarios and problems he encounters while trying to get that sex. And, no offense to lesbians/gays, but the whole thing with Lottie and Maxine in love was just sick. I'm fine with movies about homosexuality (Boys Don't Cry, And The Band Played On, etc.) but it just didn't fly for me in John Malkovich.

The saving grace of this film was the acting. John Cusak, Cameron Diaz(!), John Malkovich, etc. all did great at their parts. You have to give the movie credit for one thing.

Well, I'm sorry, but there you have it. I can't say that I enjoyed Being John Malkovich. Some movies are so bizarre, their brilliant; John Malkovich is so bizarre, it's stupid. And BORING.

WHERE HAS THIS MOVIE BEEN HIDING ALL OF MY LIFE?! I just saw it for the first time a few days ago and cried myself to death laughing! This nails the 70's/80's rock world cliches right on and spoofs them in such a brilliant and hilarious way that your sides will be splitting from laughing so hard! The Spinal Tap members are so stupid that they're ingenious! Of course, you have be sort of "in the know" about glam rock and 70's/80's music to understand many of the jokes, but usually, most of them are so funny that you'll still find them amusing by themselves. It's impossible to choose a favorite part of this movie because all the scenes are so great! From Derek's shell that wouldn't open to the amp that went to 11 to the spontaneously combustable drummers, This Is Spinal Tap will have you rolling on the laughing the whole way through! Do yourself a HUGE favor and see This Is Spinal Tap!....and buy the tape, and the t-shirts, and the soundtrack, and the poster............

On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it an 11!....hehe :-)

Okay, okay, I'll admit it---the ONLY reason I rented this movie at all was because my favorite band sung on the soundtrack (which, by the way, is awesome). I had no idea what the movie was about, although I did know that Lori Petty and Malcolm McDowell were in it. i also knew that it wasn't exactly a masterpiece of a film, either, so I went home, started watching, and just tried to have a little fun and enjoy myself.

And, for a while, I did. The introduction was cool, the characters were funny, and it was actually interesting to watch. Lori Petty totally rocked as Tank Girl---although I heard that Tank Girl's character in the comic book was a lot more intense. Her sidekick, Jet Girl, was just as awesome. They should have had a lot more scenes with Malcolm McDowell, though, especially between him and Tank Girl. Those were some of the best parts. You can't help but love all the campy humor.

But sometime after Tank and Jet hook up with the Rippers, or whatever theyr'e called, the movie just seems to go downhill. Take out the Raiders-of-the-Lost-Ark-style truck sequence with Tank, and the entire middle is pretty boring. The Rippers--I mean, okay, they're half men, half kangaroos. Why not at least get mutated into something useful, like, half man, half shark or bear or cheetah or something? Ice-T was just plain annoying, as was Tank Girl's kangaroo man boyfriend, Booga. The beatnik poetry thing was cool, but the dancing thing and everything else were so stupid they weren't even funny.

The ending makes up for it a bit. Even the Rippers had some funny moments ("Count Chocula--he's the guy on the laundry detergent box, right?"). Tank Girl eventually saves the world in the end, Jet Girl gets revenge on her "boyfriend" from Water and Power, and the world has water again. Yay! Like I said, though, they should have had more scenes of McDowell and the bad guys. It's great to watch him ham it up as the evil villain (as always).

So, if you're looking for senseless fun and recklessness with no point or reason, watch Tank Girl. It may not be Lawrence of Arabia or Gone With the Wind, but it's a lot better than SOME of the movies I've seen. Oh, yeah, and don't pay over $1.50 to rent it.