Kage-3

I read about Haunt today in Fangoria Magazine and it really sounded like a cut above many of the genre films. Well, I looked it up, got my hands on a copy of it and sat down to see if it would give me some chills and thrills. No such luck.

For a ghost story that's complete with a haunted house, box that allows the living to communicate with the dead, and a pretty decent looking spirit, this is a complete snoozer. If I thought the first half was tedious and dull, the second half didn't really improve on that much.

A family moves into a house that has a history of several other family members dying there. How did they die? Why did they die? Why are the hauntings starting up again? Those questions are lost as viewers ask questions like do the parents actually have jobs or are they independently wealthy? The parents don't mind when a girl who shows up and starts bunking with their teenage son?

Truly, it's agony pointing out the plot holes because there are a huge number of them. There's a tiny bit of tension here and there, some of which is ruined by those lovely jarring scare noises when something happens on screen. It's just a sign of director who doesn't trust what he's putting in front of us to do the trick.

Simply put, don't waste your time. Haunt is a snoozer.

I caught the first "Screamers" in the theater and enjoyed the heck out of it. Director Christian Duguay had the foresight to use some decent actors (Peter Weller chiefly among them), paid attention to fashioning a politically charged story and did his best to deliver a decent film. Hey, it wasn't perfect, but he succeeded more than not.

Now comes Sheldon Wilson who tries to make up for a ridiculous story with some interesting visuals. If you give bad actors some good dialogue or even good actors some bad dialogue, you sometimes get lucky. However, when you give bad actors some bad dialogue, riddle a plot with inconsistencies, gaping holes and a lack of any logic while making it all extremely easy to pick out every twist and turn to come, then you get "Screamers: The Hunting".

Things are still bad on Sirius 6B and when a distress signal is sent to Earth, the Alliance dispatches a few 20-somethings to seek out any survivors and bring them back home. Speeding their efforts is some sort of super storm that's going to wipe out all life on the planet, giving them a couple of days to complete their mission.

Along the way they'll meander around, discover some survivors, run, discover that Screamers have gotten aboard their ship (how, exactly, is never disclosed), run back to the survivors, get the majority of the survivors slaughtered, leave with someone meant to be a red herring (right), meander some more while looking for fuel cells and... Let's just leave it at lots of meandering, lots of banal dialogue, lots of bad acting and a thankless appearance by Lance Henrickson. Why didn't they put Henrickson in charge of the mission? The man has presence and the young crew members simply do not.

And the end? It's as predictable as the rest of the film. Oh, and don't forget to count how many times the characters mention the word "screamers". Screenwriter Miguel Tejada-Flores seems to think it's a really cool word and repeats it every opportunity he gets.

I was extremely excited to learn that somebody picked up the story again and moved forward with it. And after watching "Screamers: The Hunting", I think Sheldon Wilson owes fans of the original film an apology.

I had no idea what to expect walking into a preview of "America's Sweethearts". Having finished it, the words "fantastic", "hysterical" and "unexpected" come to mind!

The plot is very simple; the Hollywood couple audiences have loved for years has broken up, their solo film projects have flopped and the final film they've made together may be their only hope of ever reaching the top once more. In order for the studio to make back their investment and save themselves, they take a course of action to stir the pot at a weekend screening of the film with all the critics and publicity they can muster.

John Cusack seemed an odd choice to me as one of the leads, but he plays the "husband still in love with his cheating wife" to comical perfection. Catherine Zeta-Jones is simply wonderful as the career-minded actress who believes that nobody loves her anymore while smiling to reporters and ordering her ever faithful sister around. In a unique bit of casting, Julia Roberts plays Zeta-Jones' sister in an almost low-key supporting performance. Zeta-Jones plays the beauty between them, but Roberts has the charm and she's flawless!

Hank Azaria breaks new ground in yet another hilarious role as the Latino lover who stole Zeta-Jones away from Cusack. There's never a dull moment when Hank is on screen and it's a scream! Billy Crystal, who also co-wrote and produced the film, brings both the reality of Hollywood to the film as well as the brilliant personality we've all come to love and enjoy. The supporting cast were nearly perfect as well.

If it sounds like I'm dishing out the compliments for this film, I am. It's wonderful, humorous, has a number of unexpected moments and doesn't lose any steam in the final reel.