Ddey65

Our story begins one mid-1970's night in a suburban Los Angeles Metro Area household, with a young boy named Tommy seeming to have a nightmare. Soon we find out what that nightmare is. It's of him chasing his German Shepherd named "Sandy" through a park, trying to keep him from getting into trouble. He runs between two cars on the street and gets hit by a previous generation GMC pickup truck, and poor Sandy is injured. The only problem is, this nightmare is real. His mother (who is unfortunately uncredited) comes into his bedroom and tries to comfort him. His family recently moved from the farms of California to the Los Angeles suburbs, and he and his dog are apparently not used to walking in urban or suburban environments, but he knows that he shouldn't dart in front of traffic. Nevertheless, his mom tells him that the school he goes to is assigning him two older boys to teach him how to walk safer here rather than in his previous residence. Tommy already knows the rules of pedestrian safety, so I can't imagine why he has a pair of older kids teaching them to him. It seems like they're unknowingly setting their son to be tormented by school bullies, but thankfully, that's not the case.

The crossing guard narrating this movie is none other than legendary actress June Lockhart, but you won't find any Lassie or Lost in Space references here. Considering how many people have described her, it would be easy to believe that she actually volunteered as a school crossing guard for the Los Angeles Police Department in real life. The film which was made by Lee Stanley is an educational short aimed at teaching children how to walk safely in urban environments. Tommy was played by his sone Shane, who himself is a writer, director and producer now.

Throughout the movie, Lockhart emphasizes the importance of being aware of traffic, following safety signals, and using crosswalks. The film covers various scenarios, including crossing streets, walking at night, and the proper way to exit vehicles. It stresses the need for vigilance and caution to prevent accidents. And believe it or not, occasially Tommy joins her in the narration.

It's the kind of short educational movie that they used to make for kids of the baby boom, and like to pretend they stopped doing for kids of the 1970's. But this movie is no 1970's version of "Last Clear Chance" or "Signal 30," and it doesn't have to be those movies either. There's a scene where three girls are crossing a street, and the youngest one is towing a little red wagon with a doll wrapped up in a blanket who lags behind for some reason. Maybe the blanket got caught in the wheels or something, but whatever the case may be, a motorcycle turns at the corner and one of the older girls pulls her out of the way before the bike bumps into the wagon and damages the doll. Lockhart doesn't have to tell us, but she does it anyway. That doll could've been us. During one of the scenes Ms. Lockhart tells the audience that "streets are for cars and trucks and motorcycles and other vehicles," a message that the anti-automotive "new urbanist" movement doesn't want to face. She also urges kids to get out of the car only on the sidewalk side, though such a rule was easier to follow when most cars had front and rear bench seats.

Instead of adding spoilers to this review, I'd like to add some statements and questions. Nothing about this movie is remotely Oscar-worthy, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. It's also easy to believe that Lockhart was offered the role in this movie because she played Ruth Martin and Maureen Robinson. But would it be any better if the crossing guard were played by Barbara Billingsley, Donna Reed or Harriett Nelson? We'll never really know. But one thing that's certain is that not all educational and ephemeral films of the past were bad, even in their heyday. And thanks to the rise of the internet since the 1990's it's much easier to find this one.

Let's face it. The only reason many fans know what we know now is from after this episode aired. It's the fact that the guest star of the week would later play that beloved geeky manic-pixie dream girl named Jordan Cochran in the teenexploitation movie "Real Genius." Bear in mind Michelle Meyrink may have the same hairdo in the upcoming teen movie, but she's not Jordan here.

Ubu Productions has established the fact that in the early seasons of Family Ties, Skippy has had an unwavering crush on Mallory Keaton, despite the obvious fact that she has no interest in him. This fact isn't necessarily lost on the nerdy neighbor either, so when Mallory brings an attractive friend over named Jane, he decides she's the next best target for his affections. But Mallory will have none of this. Not only does she insist that Skippy not go out with her, she puts her foot down and declares that her friends are off-limits too. Of course, that's really their decision, but that's besides the point.

Alex tries to tutor her in an attempt to set her up with Skippy, but as far as she's concerned the Keaton teenage conservative is all that matters. Her character's crush on Alex dates back to her childhood. She watched him on the playground when they were little kids and rigged his old student body presidential election in Freshman year by voting for him 300 times. Jane takes as many opportunities as possible to kiss Alex, and you know she wants to do more than just that, in spite of his struggles to get her to direct her affections towards his neighbor. And everything erupts into total chaos when he tries to set up a date between the two of them at the local Italian restaurant.

Years later in some interview I can't find yet, Meyrink admitted she had some doubts about performing kissing scenes on television compared to movies. Practically any other young actress at the time may not have sparked such a reaction among fans. But the fact that this girl was having this guest spot, and Fox was supposed to kiss her is enough to make the rest of us guys both jealous and excited. It's not one of the legendary make-out scenes with William Shatner on Star Trek, but it still makes us wish we were playing Alex P. Keaton instead of Fox.

With the title of this review, I may be giving the false impression that I'm suggesting that this is a stupid episode. I'm not. The reason for my suggestion is that there are a lot of people in this episode who are either crazy, or stupid, or perhaps some of both. Beavis and Butt-head are bigger idiots than any of the semi-brainless wonders in this episode, and millions still enjoy those moronic cartoon characters.

The main reason for this title is because Captain Hank Stanley is worried about an impending inspection from his former battalion chief, who he's convinced is a total hard-ass who's out to get him. All the while, Chet tries to get the station mascot Henry to get accustomed to the new doghouse he built for him, but he doesn't seem so interested in it. But as usual, there are more pressing matters.

First you've got a bickering couple who pulls into a gas station with a '64 Ford pickup, The woman gets out to pull the gas pump hose beyond it's limits as she tries to fill it up with gas, but he can't get the truck in the right position, until he finally he backs up too far, rips the hose out of the pump, gives his wife a bump on the head and causes a gas spill. Naturally, Squad 51 is called to pour flame retardant on the gas leak while they're treating the woman's injuries, until the owner of the station gets mad at the attendant for turning off the pumps. He turns everything back on causing a big spark that sends Marco flying away from the pump while he checking it out, and starts a small fire which the department puts out and fortunately Gage immediately turns it back off and gives the owner a well-deserved dirty look. My biggest question is, who played this couple? Or the gas station owner?

Meanwhile Dr. Brackett is going through some problems with his own bosses, who impose bureaucratic red tape and ridiculous regulations that impede saving lives. In fact somehow it almost prevents Marco from being treated for that mishap at the gas station.

The next rescue involves some old man and his blonde bimbo wife who's young enough to be his daughter. The guy is teaching his wife how to use a nail gun while they put up some paneling. As the guy takes a break, she places the nail gun on the table and accidentally shoots a nail at him. Besides the paramedic and the staff at Rampart General, what ends up saving this man? His pacemaker. Meanwhile Dixie has to talk to this trophy wife about how to deal with life without her old fart husband, because she's going to have to face this sooner or later.

If this incident isn't looney enough, a bunch of ice skaters are injured because of a fight by a pair of clowns. You read that correctly -- CLOWNS! Most of the skaters are injured because they tried to break up the fight. One of the clowns was played Branscombe Richmond, who would later play in the Lorenzo Lamas syndicated action series "Renegade." The other one, I'm not so sure about. For everything that made this series so good, they had a bad habit of not giving credit to all their actors.

Finally, we get a couple of teenage girls who somehow took a nosedive off an overpass into a tractor trailer loaded with pesticides. The trailer is found to have a gas leak, but since the truck runs on diesel fuel, that leak is obviously from the car. None of the fireman can use any equipment that can generate sparks, because it'll start a fire and burn these girls to a crisp. Thankfully, they still use the jaws of life and some gas masks to pull the girls out before the truck finally blows.

And that my friends, is the most normal thing to happen in this episode.