thunderpuppy

I'm not an unreasonable person-- I understand that adapting something into a feature film requires... well... adaptation. Direct copying is usually not an option, so source material has to be distilled into a 90-120 minute cohesive whole. Rocky territory.

But what we have here is a substitution of distillation with transferring names from the source. Aeon isn't an ambiguously aligned, S&M rogue; now she's an earnest, serious, driven operative, concerned about her sister. Trevor isn't a megalomaniacal lunatic, playing mind games with his only worthy adversary (and therefore, the only person that excites him); he's a good-hearted leader with a secret, trying to make the world a better place.

On and on... Nothing about this film is even similar to its namesake.

That, and, I look at Charlize's button nose and apple cheeks... one thing Aeon Flux really can't be is "cute." Even unmoored from its impetus (and, honestly, I think naming the film "Aeon Flux" had more to do with marketing than characters or story-- just to lure the fanboys to the theater), the film just can't stand on its own. The acting is past "wooden" and into "walking corpse," the story is a whisper of an idea to prop up lots of empty action scenes, the action is poorly choreographed and as unexciting, and the look of the film is matte and dead (like mid seventies sci-fi, right down to the egg-shaped chairs).

I usually don't pile on to films that have already been IMDb'd to death, but this is exactly the review that would have talked me out of wasting my time. Maybe you don't have to waste yours.

I think the opening covers it: if stuffy, important-sounding English voice overs declaring that Britain has "had running water for over ten years" and "we invented the cat" makes you fall over laughing (those silly guys! Invented the cat! Ha!), this show will probably tickle you. If not, you will probably sit through sketch after sketch of easy, obvious humor. What's this, another punchline based on the character acting stupid? And some mugging, too? Comic genius. If you giggle when a character is obviously gay to us, the audience, but not so obvious to the oblivious caricatures in the sketch, I think we've found a show for you.

It is nice to know that not all British television comedy is solid-- it might make the rest of the world jealous. So it's good to see a BBC program that drags down towards the bottom of the barrel, keeping the lowest common denominator in tact for the world... not just the USA.

Notice, by the way, that this show's most stalwart defenders are Americans-- not only is it popular to champion American garbage, but if you give it an accent, it is immediately brilliant. Remember, just because they're English doesn't make them Monty Python-- go watch Spaced instead, if you need to champion a BBC comedy.

I've got the strange feeling that someone decided that a splicing of Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino would be both funny and cool. but even if you like both filmmakers, most will grudgingly admit that their imitators are pretty pathetic.

That's a pretty decent way to review the film: pathetic.

The sort of movie where a frustrated character will yell `Jesus wept!' and the witty retort is volleyed back: `Jesus farted.' No matter how unfunny the punch line is, the joke's setup is equally groan inducing. Someone actually wrote a script where a character is frustrated, and therefore yells "Jesus wept." I think it's all supposed to be `witty banter' (the truncated back-and-forth runs, rapid fire, into connecting one-liners regarding a store no one can remember the name of)-pointless dialogue that is supposed to be clever.

If you want to see a film that makes you jump up and down and yell `You're not funny!' at the screenwriter, this is your ticket.