jiangliqings

** 1/2 out of ****

Larry Cohen's last directorial attempt at anything resembling the horror genre film is different and yet much the same as his previous outings. Gone is the gritty, semi-documentary approach, giving way to crisper editing and a fairly slick, Hollywood look. Those dismayed by that will still be pleased to know Cohen's trademark quirky humor is still present, and this time his movie is played almost completely for laughs. Yeah, Q was an intentionally absurd affair, but some of the fun was offset by that gritty look, and Gold Told me to was pretty damn serious from beginning to end. But enough about those film, how's The Ambulance? Surprisingly, despite a lame title, it's his most amusingly funny movie to date.

Eric Robert stars as Joshua Baker, a comic book artist with a crush on a woman (Janine Turner) he passes on the street everyday. Finally, he musters up the courage one day to approach her, but as he speaks to her, she suddenly collapses and is taken away by an ambulance. Josh later visits the hospital she should have gone to, but discovers no one of her first name or description ever arrived. From there, Cohen piles on an adventure story of sorts set in New York about evil doctors and ambulance attendents who are after diabetics, and one man's quest to get to the bottom of it all. Believe me, this is all more enjoyable than it might sound.

Given such a premise, it's possible this could have been played as a straight, fast-paced thriller with many twists and turns. But Cohen opts for a more comical route, and as if to ensure that we understand that, he even gives away the mystery ten minutes into the film! Yeah, I had been expecting something along the lines of a suspense/thriller, and I was initially a little disappointed to see this played out as a comedy, but quickly re-evaluating my expectations, The Ambulance really turned out to be a pretty enjoyable movie that put me through a lot of giggling fits. Yes, it's been a damn long time since I've seen a movie that opts for humor without resorting to potty jokes.

The story isn't what makes The Ambulance overall work, it's the characters, the dialogue, and the absurd situations. One particularly amusing moment is a fight between the ambulance attendents and a gang of thugs, with Roberts hilariously acting as a cheerleader while strapped to a stretcher. Another laugh-out loud scene features a desperately sick Roberts trying to hide from an approaching ambulance and shouting to his apartment neighbors to remember the attendents' faces, noting that they'll be witnesses.

The performances are mostly all pretty top-notch for what's required here. Roberts is a lot of fun as the everyday Joe trying to get to the bottom of the situation, doing all this because of a beautiful woman (the resolution of which is quite satisfying and hilarious). Watching roles like this always make me wonder how he never made the transition to Hollywood star, he's got the charisma and acting ability for it. Megan Gallagher gets in some good scenes as a tough cop who happens to believe Baker. Red Buttons as a journalist and James Earl Jones as a hard-boiled lieutenant steal a good bit of the scenes they're in, the latter doing so with his obsessive gum-chewing and sarcastic tone. Soap star Eric Braeden doesn't really get to do much, and from what I've seen here, he pretty much acts the same in everything he's in.

Entertaining as the film often is, The Ambulance isn't without its flaws and dead spots. Some scenes drag on way too long without enough laughs, specifically Roberts' little stay at the hospital, and some aspects of the movie are just too silly. For instance, the interior of the ambulance somehow has this green glow emanating from it, more like something you'd see in The Tommyknockers or the power plant in The Simpsons. That same glow is present in the villains' hideout, and yes, it still feels out of place there, too. There are a few attempts at thrills, but the chase scenes don't really generate all that much excitement, mainly because the otherwise goofy tone waters these moments down. The lines spoken immediately after the final chase, however, are good for a laugh. Plot holes are also very prevalent, as no explanation is really given for why the woman (and later Roberts himself) gets sick all of a sudden. And while we do get clarity and a resolution with the woman Roberts is searching for, we never really learn the fate of one specific minor character that was also abducted by the ambulance.

Flaws aside, I suppose I'd recommend The Ambulance, given that you go in expecting a comically-oriented thriller, a subgenre that's almost non-existent these days (unless you count Conspiracy Theory, which coincidentally, starred Roberts' sister, Julia). It's rarely dull, and I suspect the next time you see an ambulance, you'll probably have a hard time holding back a giggling fit.

** out of ****

I'm not generally one of those viewers out there who feels the need to just go along with the majority opinion and hose praise or lambast a film just because that's what everyone else says. Regardless, however, there's very little to say about Phantom Menace in general except that it IS a disappointment, not necessarily as a film in the much beloved Star Wars series, but mostly as a piece of escapist entertainment. The fact is, while so many fans are clamoring about how it's so untrue to the rest of the series (which is actually completely untrue), the movie's real problem is that it's simply not all that well directed, well written, or well acted.

Well, sure, the first Star Wars had its fair share of clunky moments, and the dialogue and acting wasn't overall anything great, but it surged forward thanks to the energetic performances, the lively direction, and the sense that everyone involved truly had fun making the film. Oh, and let's not forget the X-wing battle in the finale, definitely one of the most exciting dog fights in movie history. Then there's The Empire Strikes Back, a sci-fi masterpiece of imagination, true vision, and action spectacle.

In comparison to those two, Phantom Menace often just feels like a sorry carbon-copy. True, the special effects are a vast improvement, what with the digital age and all, but effects mean nothing if you can't entertain on any other level (be it dramatically, story-wise, action-wise), and let's face it, for the majority of its running time, all Menace offers for entertainment value is visual spectacle.

Despite the risk of sounding like an idiot, I'll go right out and say that the plot initially confused me. From my very first viewing, I gathered it was about some planet called Naboo that had problems with the trade federation and a couple of Jedis were going to get involved in the peace talks, or something like that. This all eventually leads to Tatooine, where Jedi Qui-Gonn Jinn (Liam Neeson) discovers Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd), a young boy with the potential to be the most powerful Jedi in the world.

This is the set-up, and if things hadn't been introduced so confusingly, I'd say it's not a bad way to begin a grand epic. The movie does get off to a fairly rousing start, with John Williams' magnificent score setting the tone for what should have been great things to come. The lightsaber fights with the robots added to the excitement, but once things hit Tatooine, this is where the movie really stumbles. Yes, this is where we are introduced to...Jake Lloyd!

This kid's performance has become something of a legend in movie lore. It's kind of like how you try your best not to mention Ishtar to a group of movie lovers (or Patch Adams to real doctors). Really, I know Lloyd was just a nine-year old kid, but a good deal of the movie does ride on this kid's shoulders, and I don't mean this just in terms of the plot. How superb (or not) his performance is sets up our emotional involvement in this character. Think of Empire of the Sun for a moment, which featured the most brilliant child actor performance of all time from Christian Bale (with Haley Joel Osment coming in second very closely in The Sixth Sense). If Bale had been acting on Lloyd's level, Empire would have had an Ishtar-like fate and Spielberg would have been laughed out of Hollywood (okay, that's a little extreme but I'm trying to make a point).

I see I'm just dancing around the subject, so I'll get to the point. Plain and simple, Lloyd's performance is absolutely awful. Now, I don't know what it was in this kid that Lucas saw, but he carries none of the emotions we would expect in a young Anakin. Hell, he doesn't even act like a real kid. Most of the time, he just seems like what he is-a child actor desperately trying to remember his lines to the point where he can't emote. I know most people hated Jar-Jar Binks, but this kid annoyed me so much more. At least Jar-Jar seemed like a real individual, and for crying out loud, he was a CGI creation!

Natalie Portman is better than Lloyd as Queen Amidala, but still pretty flat. Given that Portman is indeed a talented young actress (much moreso than Carrie Fisher ever was, not to mention she's also considerably better-looking), but she never seems all that involving. Either that, or she mistakenly believes lack of emotion is the right way to generate a sense of honor and nobility. Whatever the reason, she's bland.

Ewan Macgregor gets almost absolutely nothing to do as Obi-Wan Kenobi, except fight quite a bit, and yes indeed, he looks impressive wielding a lightsaber. I'd say about 1/3 of his dialogue consists of the word "Master," which he utters a little unconvincingly at times, but he's generally okay, and I'm sure he'll have much more to work with in the sequels (whether or not it's good material remains to be seen). And the scene where he meets Anakin for the first time, basically a cute little hello to who he believes is no more than just a cute boy, is actually quite creepy when you consider what's going to happen down the road.

Of the lead performers, only Liam Neeson registers superbly. His performance is certainly far more lively than anybody else's, and it took me much, much longer than the other actors to notice some of his dialogue was a little lackluster, a sure-fire sign of good acting. Honor and nobility seem to come almost naturally to him, and for my money, Neeson is even better than Alec Guinness was in the original Star Wars (Gasp! Blasphemy!).

Overall, it seems interesting characters is something this movie is missing. Other than Jinn and Binks (who is amusing in an off-kilter way), the only other guy that sparked my interest was Darth Maul, played by a bad-ass Ray Parks. Sure, he utters maybe only three lines in the whole movie, but damn, this guy has some very impressive moves. Plus, he just looks absolutely frightening.

I go to watch Star Wars to be entertained, to be swept away by a fully-realized universe, by a true epic story, by the immense action sequences. But, alas, none of this occurs on a very consistent basis. While the sets are imaginative and amazingly crafted, pretty-looking scenery isn't going to hold my attention forever. The story starts to feel a little dumb after awhile, especially once Lucas starts mentioning about how Jedis are determined by the amount of midi-chlorians in their blood, an explanation that put a sour taste in my mouth the first time I saw the film (but, to be fair, I've since mostly gotten over it). Too many things happen by coincidence, and I was only further riled when one of the characters stated, "Nothing happens by coincidence."

The action didn't impress me nearly as much as so many others, and really, there's not enough action in this movie (To be fair, I may have been slightly jaded by the delightfully entertaining The Mummy, released only two weeks earlier than Phantom Menace, and most definitely a far superior popcorn ride). The pod race, a sort-of classic sequence now, doesn't really do it for me. I don't know about you, but I was rooting for the kid to lose. The four-way battle scene at the end is more impressive, but the only real thrills come in the way of the two-on-one Jedi fight that eventually results with only one man coming out alive, but this scene is intercut with other scenes of fighting that weren't particularly exciting, though had the potential to be. I mean, that gigantic battle on the bright green field might have been more involving if Jar-Jar Binks hadn't inexplicably been placed as the general of the whole Gungan army. I don't know about you, but I would not put the fate of a race in the hands of Jar-Jar Binks. People stupid enough to do such a thing deserve to die.

There you have it, my (useless) opinion of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, a movie that is certainly not awful but never attains the grand proportions we expected from it. Though I notice much criticism toward the film these days, I clearly remember how so many fans clamored about just how incredible the film was during the movie's opening week in theaters. Heck, the movie even had a rank in the top 250 on IMDB for a couple of months (coming as high as at least number 130). Nowadays, I have a hard time finding anybody who will say anything other than, "oh, it could have been better." Seems to me fans just didn't want to concede the critics might have been right. And let's face it, I think we agree with them this time.

*** out of ****

As you can probably guess on your own, a third film in a series about big dinosaurs chasing after measly, little humans is probably going to wear itself thin in terms of plot, and let's face it, Jurassic Park III doesn't have much story. But let's be honest, do we really care? All I ask for my hard-earned money is a competently made thrill ride that features big dinosaurs chasing after measly, little humans. And on that level, JPIII is a pretty damn good success. Certainly, this series is turning out better than the Jaws franchise.

In this third-go-round, Sam Neill returns as Dr. Alan Grant, the now-world famous paleontologist who's having trouble coming up with grant money thanks to the fact that everybody in the world knows real dinosaurs exist. Thus, Grant is a bit easily goaded when a couple (William H. Macy and Tea Leoni) offer to pay big bucks for him to give them a little tour guide of the dino island. Reluctantly agreeing, Grant brings along his protege, Billy (Alessandro Nivola), and they all head off to Isla Sorna.

Not all goes according to plan, once Grant finds out the couple is really searching for their son, who was stranded six weeks ago. Then there's that slight complication when this really big dinosaur called the Spinosaurus rips apart the airplane the group arrived in. Afterward, there are only five survivors, and they set out to look for the missing boy and a way off the island.

Plot-wise, it would probably be easier to simply state that a bunch of people get stuck on an island with man-eating dinosaurs. After all, thrills would be the only reason anybody would watch this kind of movie in the first place, yet I find it funny I keep hearing complaints about bad story-telling and little characterization. Really, the general movie-going public has got to re-evaulate their expectations a little more if they don't know what to expect out of a movie called Jurassic Park III. Things such as story-telling and character development mean little to a movie about dinosaurs, much less a third film about said dinosaurs in a series, but those elements are adequate enough for the thrill-ride experience to work.

Directed by Joe Johnston, this movie still often has the look and feel of a Spielberg film. There's a bit of sentimentality here and there (as opposed to almost zero in the The Lost World), particularly in the beginning, with the scenes between Neill and Laura Dern (these moments work quite well), and later on in the film, between the estranged couple, played by Macy and a very annoying Leoni, and their son (these moments don't work so well). It's these scenes that lead me to question how so many people can proclaim this one superior to the original because of no sentimentality when it clearly has some. Really, what I learned from such statements is that some people out there are just desperate to come up with something to bad mouth Spielberg.

Johnston is not quite as good an action director as Spielberg. By that, I mean there's not as much build-up to the attack scenes, nor is there really that much suspense, especially when compared to the nail-biting finale in the original and the trailer park scene in the The Lost World. Johnston gets to the action quickly, almost as if though he were afraid he'd lose our attention otherwise. It feels a little sloppy at times, but at least it eventually builds into that thrill-ride experience.

The excitement delivered in spades, thanks to moments such as a nice little drag-down knockout fight between the Spinosaurus and the T-Rex. The guy I was rooting for didn't win, but it was still a damn good fight. The raptors are sorely underused here, and there were a lot of possibilities Johnston could have come up with, especially set inside that village. But, unfortunately, he abandons the enclosed setting (which really could have led to a lot of great thrills) and sticks to the jungle.

Mind you, the jungle is still set up for quite a bit of fun. The Spinosaurus makes several more appearances, one of them telegraphed by an amusing riff off Jaws and Peter Pan. The pteranadons are put to good use here, with a sequence set inside a cage that's fairly exciting. Sure, that "evil stare" that one pteranadon gives is pretty unintentionally hilarious, but stuff like that is appreciated in a B-movie.

Speaking of B-movie, this one's a little more obvious of its roots than its predecessors, which is a plus. JPIII has a pretty good sense of humor, as shown during a laugh-out loud dream scene that mocks the series itself. William H. Macy also gets in quite a few good laughs, a lot of them at the expense of the character himself!

Special effects are what we would expect, meaning they're mostly excellent, with the only real complaint being that some of the dinos seem a little too CGI and the Spinosaurus' animatronic origins are far too obvious. Mild complaints, though, considering the effects are really very impressive.

Acting's also decent, with Neill, Macy, and Nivola registering positively. Michael Jeter's actually pretty likeable as a "mercenary" and Trevor Morgan is a kid who doesn't save the day or act as comic relief, thank God. However, Tea Leoni's just annoying, as she just about always is. I can't quite put my finger on what it is about her that irritates me so; perhaps it's her speech pattern, or maybe just her general lack of acting ability.

Don Davis' score is noticeably John Williams-ish. The jungle drums from The Lost World are replaced by a more traditional action/adventure theme, which is effective enough if nothing spectacular. The original movie's main theme is present, too, though for some odd reason, it felt oddly inappropriate to me. I guess I was just hoping for more of the dark tone and atmosphere the second film gave us, and that musical theme from Williams (which is great, I'm not trying to knock it) sounds way too bright in tone and awe-inspiring to punch that feeling home.

Where Jurassic Park III really stumbles is the ending, which is incredibly abrupt and lacking a bit in basic logic. I'd go a little further, but I might spoil things somewhat, suffice to say that judging from what I saw, raptors don't really have very good auditory perception and we'll just leave it at that.

Given that this is a third movie in a series known primarily for its action/special effects, I'd say Jurassic Park III rates quite highly as an entertaining action/horror excursion. Perhaps not quite as intense as its predecessors, it still works considerably well, and it's story doesn't quite have as many idiocies as The Lost World, as it is known infamously for. JPIII was also probably the best sequel in a summer chock full of them. The Mummy Returns was a colossal disappointment, Rush Hour 2 pretty much repeated most of the same mistakes of Rush Hour, and American Pie 2 is...the sequel to the already dreaded American Pie. Anyway, JPIII's good fun, and I guess it says something positive when I actually don't mind the prospect of another sequel.