Mercenaries

Mercenaries (2014) is the kind of movie that is quite honest with people who watch it. It doesn't pretend to be more than what should be.

The plot is paper thin. Very basic, probably made by monkeys.

Character A gets kidnapped by bad guys. Character B recruits some criminals by offering them redemption. The girls go to war and there will be death and destruction.

Blood squibs, horrible CGI, laughable acting, Vivica Fox is fatty, Brigitte Nielsen is over the top, handguns have 50 bullets without even reloading, bad guys are retarded and dumb by missing shots when their enemies are only 3 feet away from them.

The last fight was so cheesy and probably it was meant to be that way. Fortunately, it's short ( 84 minutes ) and it's OK to watch if you have nothing better to do.

"We're not nice women. We're not going on some fun adventure. We're going to do some very bad things to some very bad people." Ulrika (Nielsen) has just taken the President's daughter captive and is demanding for the US to recognize her as a Head of State or she will kill the daughter. The government has only one option, they must send in a team of mercenaries to rescue her. A team of women is picked and the mayhem begins. There isn't really a whole lot to say about this movie. This is an Expendables with women. That really tells you all you need to know. The dialog is cheesy and the acting isn't that good. The action sequences are OK but generic...like I said another version of Expendables. The movie was entertaining enough and I did stay with it and wasn't too bored but that's about all I have to say. Overall, a female version of The Expendables with roughly the same acting, dialog and plot. I give this a C+.

MERCENARIES is another ridiculous action / thriller full of machine guns, explosions, karate, one-liners, and impossible situations.

This time, it's up to a team of hardened women, including Zoe Bell, Vivica A. Fox, and Kristanna Loken to rescue the President's daughter from the clutches of international uber-criminal, Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen).

Sort of a low-budget, all-female EXPENDABLES, it suffers from an exceptionally high cheeeze factor, and the action sequences are... underwhelming.

To be fair, the chemistry between the principals is believable, and it's obvious that Ms. Nielsen had a blast with her role! She gleefully devours every splinter of the scenery!

Not terrible, just make sure you're in the mood for silliness...

When the president's daughter is kidnapped by a female warlord (Brigitte Nielsen) in a former Soviet republic, a CIA agent (Cynthia Rothrock) decides to send 4 dangerous female criminals to the rescue: Clay (Zoë Bell), Kat (Kristanna Loken), Raven (Vivica A. Fox) and Mei-Lin (Nicole Bilderback). I'm not sure if that is the standard procedure, but it has to work as time is running out...

This is an Asylum production, directed by Christopher Ray ('2 Headed Shark Attack'). From these credits, you don't expect too much, but the basic idea works: similar to Stallone's 'Expendables', they take a team of outcasts for a dangerous mission, but this time, it's female. The presence of Nielsen and Rothrock reminds you that a female action hero is nothing new, but a whole team of them guarantees some fun, even if the production value in general is very low - the rare case of a mock-buster that's actually adding something new.

"Mercenaries" is a fairly straight out of the 'how to make an action movie' textbook, except that the movie didn't really turn out to be anything extraordinary. The whole movie was well below average.

The story is about daughter of the president of the United States who has been kidnapped by a ruthless warlord in the Republic of Kazakhstan. The warlord is threatening the USA to make her ruler of her country and wipe out the other rivalling warlords. And the USA government brings in a group of imprisoned women to act as mercenaries, promising them full pardons if they rescue the presidents daughter.

Right, well fairly straight forward storyline. But it was so straight forward to the point of being ridiculously generic and seen in way too many movies before. And that was one of the major factors that worked against this movie.

This being a movie by The Asylum, I will say that they have veered quite far from what they usually make. That is a good thing, because this movie actually made some sense. Just a shame that it was weighed down by a well-below average storyline.

The acting in the movie was adequate. No one really stood out here, which ultimately led to a fairly mundane experience.

"Mercenaries" is the type of movie that you watch once, then forget about it, and never will pick up again for a second viewing. I would assume that the movie might have some appeal if you are a fan of any of the ladies on the cast list. But other than that, then there is nothing appealing or alluring about "Mercenaries".