Star Wars : Épisode VIII - Les Derniers Jedi

After George Lucas's execrable prequels and the mediocre The Force Awakens, I've learnt to keep my expectations low for any new Star Wars films in order to avoid total disappointment. Having just seen The Last Jedi, it appears that I haven't been keeping them low enough.

The reasons for my loathing are the same as those noted in the countless scathing reviews here on IMDb, so I won't go into drawn out detail - suffice to say that the film frequently beggars belief, is massively bloated, defies logic and is full of misplaced humour (the worst moments being the horrible 'steam iron' gag and BB-8's handy coin launcher).

3 out of 10, solely for the impressive special effects. Writer/director Rian Johnson shouldn't be allowed within 12 parsecs of another Star Wars sequel.

I love the Star Wars franchise. I was so anxious to watch The Last Jedi especially how The Force Awakens ended and how good The Force Awakens was. I bought my tickets a month and a half in advance in anticipation of episode eight.

As the movie started I was dialed in for the first 15 minutes then I noticed this subtle uneasiness in me like a disturbance in the force. It began with the interaction between Poe and Princess Leia. She made a comment and made a decision regarding Poe that I found a little unsettling. "OK." I thought. I didn't like that exchange but it's not a show stopper. The subtlety was that Leia was making it seem like the Rebels were in no need of heroes. They didn't need fighters anymore, they needed thinkers (or something akin to that). I took that little shift in philosophy in stride and kept eagerly watching. A couple of other small iniquities occurred but I soldiered forth watching with an open mind because it's "Star Wars".

Then, there came the interaction between Rey and Luke Skywalker.

Luke is part of movie folklore to me. Like many people have the one celebrity they'd like to meet: the one fictional character for me has always been Luke Skywalker. Luke was the first hero I'd seen wear black. He had piloting skills, light saber skills and could do Jedi mind tricks. He was the coolest.

Fast forward nearly 40 years and now Luke is an old man. So what I'm expecting is an older, WISER Luke. If Luke is on a deserted planet then it must be for a very good reason. And if Rey found him, much like Luke found Yoda, then Luke will have so much to impart upon Rey. That's not quite what went down. They made Luke a sullen pessimistic old man that was ignorant of simple truths. He offered so little; to the movie and to Rey. He was a shell of his former self, he was only good at being the ex machina. The Luke Skywalker in this movie was NOT the Luke Skywalker I knew. The Luke Skywalker I know was killed in this movie.

After seeing my fictional hero relegated to something unrecognizable I actually became bitter while watching the movie. There was almost nothing they could do to save the movie. And they didn't . In fact, it got worse. By the end the movie was more of what I should have saw coming: rebels running from the Republic and figuring out some remote yet heroic way to ward them off. And what added to the annoyingness of this movie is that they didn't know when or how to end it. What should have been the end was followed up by another half an hour mini movie with its own beginning, middle and end.

But unlike The Last Jedi I know how to end this post. Don't waste your time.

I say worst story ever because this is the worst story as a movie and makes some of the worst Star Wars books look better by comparison. This movie was poorly shot, poorly paced, and poorly written.

Rey is the most powerful character ever seen on screen. She is more powerful than any Star Wars character ever written in any book. In four days time she goes from not knowing the force exists to being the most powerful force user ever. I thought the midiclorian idea from The Phantom Menace was an absurd way to establish how powerful Anakin was and what his potential could be. With Rey she was able to become more powerful than anyone in a matter of days. She is a Mary Sue.

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is the most useless and bipolar villain in the series. His mood swapping during the movie is tiring and unneeded. It makes him shallow and childish appearing.

Luke Skywalker was not in this movie. It was great seeing Mark Hamill give his all to a performance and I honestly think despite the writing he did an excellent job. But this was not Luke. Luke was the most positive and optimistic person in the galaxy. Rian Johnson turned him into a horrible version of a miserable human with nothing but negativity to guide him.

Leia should have died. Mary Poppins/Superman should have been her death. They could have then made Hodo take her place as the leader of the resistance. Instead we are left with Leia in a coma and are told that we need to listen to Hodo without question. I think Laura Dern is a brilliant actor who was written a poor story and given a meaningless death. She should have confided in Poe her plan instead of the strong trust me angle. Poe was one of the most trusted members of the resistance. There was no reason other than a political statement to be made in their interactions.

Finn became useless. I have no problem with the racial diversity that this movie provided. I though the original series was a bit lacking as Lando was the only black man in the galaxy. I appreciate strong characters. Rose is not that. What Rose does is kill the interaction between Poe and Finn. She diminishes Finn and he attempt to sacrifice himself but saving him for love. This after the whole movie she has preached that the resistance should come first. So she commits an act of saving Finn when she should have let him die to save the others. Her character is pointless and should have been left out of the story. Now does that mean the actor who portrayed her should have been cut? No. Write her a strong female character and let her have a role worthy of the talents of the actor.

A meaningless death suffered by the greatest tactical mind the rebellion ever had the privileged of following. Ackbar died by getting sucked into space. Seriously? What a death by the man who lead the attack on the second Death Star.

Why did Hodo not go ahead and jump a ship into the first order fleet when they first were being chased? It makes no sense to wait until the end of the movie to do this maneuver. Do it as soon as the first order gives chase and be done with it. And if you are going to do this idiotic scene make Ackbar the man to do it. He would be the one to have the tactical knowledge to have pulled it off. Instead we have Princess Leia light kill herself.

I cannot even begin to list all the problems of this movie. I cannot even begin to tell how much Rian Johnson has destroyed the series with one really bad film. I can honestly say Rian Johnson actually made the prequels look better for me. He is a horrible storyteller. The plot holes are ridiculous. The written is atrocious. His ability as a film maker is shown with this movie. I shall not watch another of his movies. I shall not see Episode IX.

This cinematic catastrophe, masquerading as a continuation of the beloved Star Wars saga, is an utter disgrace to the franchise and a desecration of everything that once made it great. Director Rian Johnson's feeble attempt to leave his mark on this illustrious universe falls short in every conceivable way, leaving fans and cinephiles alike bewildered and dismayed.

From the very outset, it becomes apparent that The Last Jedi lacks any coherent vision or respect for the source material. Johnson takes delight in tearing down the established mythology, tossing aside the profound themes and intricate character arcs that have captivated audiences for decades. Instead, we are subjected to a hodgepodge of convoluted plotlines and laughable attempts at subversion, all executed with a lack of finesse and intelligence that is truly astonishing.

Gone are the iconic heroes we once held dear, replaced by hollow caricatures of their former selves. Mark Hamill's portrayal of Luke Skywalker, a character etched into the annals of cinematic history, is reduced to a moping hermit devoid of purpose or conviction. The essence of Luke's struggle and growth, painstakingly developed over multiple films, is discarded in favor of a disillusioned old man who resorts to throwing tantrums like a petulant child. It is a disservice to Hamill's talent and an insult to the audience's intelligence.

Furthermore, the new characters introduced in The Last Jedi are equally unimpressive. Rey, portrayed by Daisy Ridley, continues to be a one-dimensional Mary Sue, effortlessly mastering the Force without any training or struggle. The potential for compelling storytelling is squandered, replaced by a tedious parade of nonsensical twists and contrived romantic entanglements. The script is riddled with cringe-inducing attempts at humor, which only serve to further undermine any semblance of seriousness or gravitas.

Visually, the film offers little respite from its narrative failings. The action sequences lack the grandeur and precision that once defined the franchise, devolving into a cacophony of meaningless explosions and flashy yet empty spectacle. The once awe-inspiring space battles are reduced to uninspired video game sequences, bereft of any emotional weight or strategic depth. Even the iconic lightsaber duels, once choreographed with elegance and purpose, now feel like nothing more than a choreographed mess of flashy acrobatics.

It is clear that The Last Jedi suffers from a severe lack of creative vision, guided by a director who either misunderstands or deliberately disregards the essence of the Star Wars saga. The film's attempts at subversion and reinvention fall flat, resulting in a disjointed and unsatisfying experience that tarnishes the legacy of its predecessors. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi is an abomination, an insult to the intelligence of its audience, and a dark stain on the once-shining galaxy far, far away.

They spend so much money for CGI and budget. Can someone honestly answer, why they don't hire some of the best writers in hollywood? They have the cash.. Star Wars is a joke to them. RIP star wars