1313: UFO Invasion

Going into 1313:UFO Invasion, understand this is NOT an action film, but a cerebral one. You are not going to see spaceships and laser explosions. The aliens are subtle, chameleon, careful not to appear out of the ordinary. They are here to watch, study and collect samples and data. These scientist-aliens are more voyeurs than soldiers.

To that end an unsuspecting group of buff frat boys wind up in the clutches of a 'MILF-ish' alien (the ever lovely Monique Parent) who is here to observe and collect biological samples. One by one, brief wearing frat boy after brief wearing frat boy is waylaid and ends up strapped to a bed for study and lethal extraction of samples.

Subtle, under the radar aliens is an interesting premise, but the way the concept is presented might be better suited for a half hour TV episode of The Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits -- there is no gore, sex or bad language. Here we have a story that seems padded with repetition, and is stretched rather thin.

The ending was an unexpected surprise, however. Stick around for it.

Quite possibly the worse movie (if you can call it that) I have ever seen. No suspense, no drama, no anything really. One guy shows up at the pool and announces he is there, but no one else is around. Rather comical. Another scene, you see the shadow of the camera filming as it backed up from two of the characters walking. There must have been a house rule about wearing only underwear, too. I found myself skipping ahead every five minutes to see if anything exciting happened. Nope. I saw a budget amount of a million for this movie. I can't see how they could have spent over $10,000. Must have been spent only on salaries they paid these people who worked on it.

The whole thing looks like a premise of a porn movie. And the premise goes on and one for more than an hour. Tedious and repetitive. We are treated with a big number of mostly naked man and too many close ups on nipples. Most of these men are only given a single line of text.

The wholesome of the story is revealed in the first and the last 5 minutes. Everything in between is a naked wet men footage.

Seriously, what the hell?

Pretty much everything about this movie was bad, but acting stands out.

I cannot recommend this to anyone. If you want to look at men bodies, go straight to porn sites, this trash is best be forgotten.

This moves along at a snail's pace with no discernible plot until 3/4 of the way through. Repetitive and tedious.

Nice looking young actors, but given little dialog it's difficult to show your talent, other than having a fit body.

Do you like looking at frat party type bodies? This is all you'll get.

A lot of camera panning over the male body, but if you are looking for full nudity or sex or a hint of any gay story line (as implied by choices offered on Netflix) you won't get it in this movie.

The only redeeming value is the eye candy.

Apparently there are related movies with the title beginning with 1313. I don't see the relevance of the number after watching this one.

If you have 72 minutes in your life and don't care about wasting them, then this is for you. Netflix must have been paid to put this in their library. There is nothing Gay about this movie at all. If you want to look at a few hot guys and don't care that there is no story or plot, then go for it. Every guy wears white briefs by design, I guess and about every 10 minutes or so it's like ground hog the movie, just a different guy but same thing over and over again and again. I suppose the only reason this was put in a Gay category was because of the guys in it.

They seem to focus on the guys chest and nipples. NO nudity or anything close to it and I can't see how they spent ! million making it. I think a 1st year film student could have come up with a better story. I think most of the production cost must have gone to Netflix for carrying this garbage. Thankfully Netflix has better things to watch in it's library