Megaboa

Script: appalling. Plot: unbelievable. Acting: worse than amateurish. 'special' effects: laughable. Suspense and horror: non-existent. Characters: hysterical women trying to be in charge, men clueless as usual in this type of throw-away movie.

An insult to the intelligence. How much longer must we put up with tripe like this?

When I stumbled upon the 2021 movie "Megaboa" here in 2022, of course I had to sit down and watch it. I do find these gargantuan creature features to be fun to watch. Sure, most of them are really, really bad, but still, every now and again there is one that proves enjoyable.

And when I saw The Asylum's name on the screen, I have to admit that I went from having zero expectations to the movie to thinking 'oh no'. But still, I carried on and opted to watch "Megaboa".

Luckily then "Megaboa" is not the archetypical mockbuster that The Asylum is mostly known for, so on that account then it was a step in the right direction. But "Megaboa" wasn't exactly a top notch creature feature.

The storyline told in "Megaboa", as written by Alex Heerman, was pretty generic and typical for a creature feature. So you are not in for anything grand here.

Then there was the matter of the cast ensemble and the acting performances. Well, it is no secret that with a movie such as "Megaboa" then there is a snowball's chance in Hell of you being in for Shakespearian performances or anything even overly great. And on that note, then "Megaboa" delivered what was expected. It should be said that the movie has Eric Roberts listed as the main attraction, and boy is he cringeworthy to watch as he stumbles through what can only be guessed is supposed to be acting and delivering dialogue.

Visually then "Megaboa" was actually adequate. I mean, the CGI animated snake looked fair enough. It wasn't spectacular CGI, but it worked out well enough for a movie such as this.

If you enjoy monstrous creature movies, then "Megaboa" is not the best of options.

My rating of "Megaboa" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.

This is going to be difficult without using a few choice four letter words, so instead... Do Not Bother. If you decide to venture on in, prepare yourself for a crap ride of bad acting and life choices.

Strictly for those die-hards of a disposition to enjoy snake thrills (also some spider thrills). Bigger than Titanoboa, that's a Megaboa! Don't look for subtlety or nuance, just lots of schlock snake fun.

I have built up an imunity or say tolerance to low budget monster movies which paid off big time on this Asylum entry. You have to almost root for the CGI snakes because systematically removing bad actors seems like the right thing. The positive things are: Awesome music score by Mikel Shane Prather and Chris Cano, beautiful scenery and you can see the actors are trying their best with the script. The negative things: Everything else for 90 minutes. I did enjoy Eric Roberts looking on a laptop of drone footage (excellent WiFi in the jungle btw) and stating "that's the biggest snake I ever seen Benji, bigger than a Titanaboa that's the...Megaboa" before calmly sitting back down in his lawn chair as said snake eats his students.