Malibu Shark Attack

OK. I saw this piece of rubbish on our Space channel. I couldn't believe how bad it was. It was so bad Donkey Punch was actually better. Clichéd. Bad acting or was it over acting. Still I watched with fascination this train wreck. Or was it a shark wreck. As to the sharks. Well they were, what can I say, over the top!

If there was one thing I kept hoping for it was that all of them, and I mean all of them were eaten by the sharks. It would save us a lot of pain.

But sometimes it is just fun to watch a really bad movie. No not Ed Wood bad but well just bad.

Watch if you dare!!!!!!

Warren Christie in this?? what the hell? I recognized him from other better stuff since then but his being in this was a surprise (Musta been a low point of low points in his career!)

In fact I'd say the the only real surprise.. it's a horrid cheap pathetic "made for TV" pile of crap that some one got suckered into forking over $ to make.

I've seen better acting and production quality from a HS play! The premise is beyond absurd right off the bat.. special effects are barely better than the acting skill.. or lack thereof The other reviewer saying 20 min was all he could stand (or she? doesn't matter).. I again got stuck with this sadly being the best thing on one day while on devil child duty.. it was this crap or garbage like "house wives of cardsashians or whatever pathetic mind numbingly stupid crap they are coming up with of that sort.. you know what I mean I'm sure.) Well this was so bad it was a serious question of leaving it on this crap or channel flipping to horrible fake "reality TV".. this movie won.. if anything can be called a winner in this case at all. it sure as hell was not a win for me.

Anyhow.. absurd premise + pathetic acting + dare we say direction of some sort.. + somehow managing to waste a budget of 3 MILLION... wait a min.. 3 MILLION??? What in hell did they spend 3 MILLION on with this crap?? Seriously.. more like budget of 3 million.. spent 100K on the production total.. pocketed 2.9 MILLION and used the entire thing as a giant tax write off.. and while we do a lot of good productions in Canada this is not one of them.. but I guarantee someone used tax credits here for the making of this horrible garbage.

Skip it.. don't waste your time.. save yourself the mental scarring that is inevitable for those whom watch this!!!! Even Plan 9 from outer space is Oscar worthy in comparison to this crap and sadly several other "things" (calling them movies is an insult to what a movie can actually be) I've been subjected to recently (see my other reviews as warning to save yourselves from such torture!!)

"What I might enjoy more is video of the USA Network/SciFi execs and the 'pro' wrestlers getting eaten by a few real sharks so that we didn't have to watch them **OR** crap like this anymore."

Well, you could change the channel....

"(yes, I know sharks are really mammals)"

Actually, sharks are NOT mammals: they are fish that bear live young, in most species.

I'll be watching "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" tonight("Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" is on opposite "Malibu Shark Attack"). Debbie Gibson AND Lorenzo Lamas? Must-watch TV!

If I were the Malibu Tourist Board I'd seriously contemplate suing Sci Fi Channel - LA has its problems, but Malibu is portrayed here as a dismal, grey, litter strewn stretch of abandoned coastline with acres of brown - green seaweed. Killer sharks aside, based on this viewing, Malibu is not the place I'd comtemplate taking a holiday.

I won't dwell on the humourless, lunatic storyline, the substandard SFX, or wooden acting; seriously, Peta Wilson (the only competent actor) had a long fall from the days 'La Femme Nikita'...either that or she simply wasn't taking her career seriously anymore...or she needed the paycheck.

I watched Shark Attack once as I was in the mood for an undemanding bad movie; which is the mindset you'll need when you watch this...either that or find Piranha 3D!

This have got to be one of the worst shark movies I have ever seen. It was so full of things that made you want to yank out your hair by the root.

First, let's talk about the acting, actually most of the actors and actresses performed well enough. Of course, don't expect to see any award winning performances, but they weren't as bad as to be expected from a movie of this type.

Then moving on to the sharks. Goblin sharks? Alrighty then, why not? What was up with the snouts and the spikes along the ridge of their backs? And the way that they always had to open and close their mouths like as if communicating somehow? And how come they repeatedly showed the same clip over and over again, just mirroring it from time to time.

What's next? Oh yeah, lets throw a tsunami into the equation, as if crappy CGI sharks weren't enough. This was the worst-looking CGI animated tsunami in movie history. And they said in the movie that it was a massive wall of water standing 100 feet tall, and yet it did no damage to those wooden huts belonging to the beach life guards? Yeah, okay. But it managed to put places 30 feet underwater, but did no damage what so ever to those beach huts. That was just hilarious. Oh, and I also loved the fact that in some scenes you saw the fake wave travel towards land, but when the camera angle changed, the wave had magically vanished from the surface of the water in the background. That was a really amazing touch to the movie, a fake tsunami that was able to defy laws of physics and magically vanish from time to time, this is as good as it gets.

And the constant filler scenes of showing girls in bikinis playing volleyball or frolicking on the beach, or hunky surfer guys in the water, what is up with that? I know this movie is supposed to take place in Malibu, but come on. Those scenes are pointless and serves as nothing but a way to fill out the time and hope to keep whatever audience is left hooked.

I actually managed to pull through the entire movie, because I wanted to see what else was hidden in the drawer of bad effects and cheesy stories. Hand on heart, then this is really a terrible shark movie. If you, like me, like monster movies, then pick something else, this one is just not worth the time or effort.