Shark Attack III

I really don't think I've ever seen a film that was worse than this one. At the piece of dialogue that is commonly referred to as 'THE LINE' I actually HAD to call my friend with whom I've seen lots of movies lately. I told him what the movie was about and we watched the finale 'together', him on the phone, me doing the live reporting from behind the screen. Laughing out loud almost all the time.

I don't think there's a single one of this films atrocities left that hasn't already been commented on, but it really keeps you roaring with laughter the whole 90 minutes. Oh... maybe there is something I didn't hear anybody rant about. The marlin footage. Was that seventies? Sixties maybe? Was it even in color? And really... What was that guy having sex for? And did I really pick up the suggestion that that woman was his fathers (?) wife???

If you ever had doubts of a cinematic higher power this is your proof. For surely such a perfect movie could not exist with the limited abilities of mere mortals.

I applaud you Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Bravo. Had I been in charge I probably would have called it quits thinking I could never top the super smash hit Shark Attack 2, but you prove me to be a fool.

Number one: The Chemistry between Barrowman and McShane...WOW!!! Like a modern day Romeo and Juliet these two decide to take on a shark that ranges from 10 feet or so to a whopping 900 feet. Roy Scheider should be ashamed of himself. Jaws was an okay movie, but he is certainly no Barrowman, far from it. With love on the line, I don't think I could be the man Barrowman is. He truly is a hero among heroes.

And let us not forget Viktor Chichov's unforgetable performance as "Male Tourist". Viktor hammers home the point that there are no small parts.

With mind boggling effects that will blow you away, Shark Attack 3 is without a doubt the greatest Shark movie ever.

Tracy and Hepburn got nothing on Barrowman and McShane. I can only pray there is a Shark Attack 4.

I don't usually comment on films that have more than 100 reviews I agree with, but I can not help but comment on this one. Not that there is much to add, mind you. This film is craptacular! On one hand it may just be the worst movie ever, and I mean ever, made. One the other, I have never laughed that much at a film before.

The shark that changes from a Great White to a Tiger shark, back to a Great White in one attack. Ben's fabulous digital camera, which magically knows what he's taking a picture of and removes everything else from the photo. The lead actress (and I use the term actress loosely) who never stops smiling, even when she's crying. The mini sub that's bigger inside than outside. The Bulgarian actors trying to sound like Mexicans. The totally redundant sex scenes. The LINE (you probably know what it is, but on the off chance you don't - you'll know it when you hear it). All this adds up to hilarity. Too bad they were aiming for horror.

Some people will say that it's a bad film, and advise against it. If I had expected a good megalodon (megalo-who? lol) film and been shown this instead, I would have been disappointed. But people, lets face it, it's called Shark Attack 3! How serious can such a film be? Instead, read the reviews (and in this case even spoilers don't actually spoil anything), grab your friends and prepare to laugh like a loon!

In short, I'll give this film 1 star, but it deserves 10 for pure comic value.

While it's difficult to find anything useful to add to the many insighful reviews of this "movie," there is at least one performance I think deserves special mention. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon offers one of the best examples of "method acting" I've ever seen. Leading man John Barrowman so immerses himself in his character that his single-minded approach dominates every scene. Unfortunately, the character he assumes for this movie was not that of Ben the glorified lifeguard who appears in the script, but the character of Tom Cruise playing Ben the lifeguard. In almost every shot, Barrowman can be seen ripping off a Cruise smile, a Cruise laugh, a Cruise pose, a Cruise expression, a Cruise anything he can get his hands on. And all this is completely independent of whatever Ben the Lifeguard is supposed to be doing in the scene other than being a Tom Cruise impersonator. I've seen some other actors attempt similar feats (Skeet Ulrich as Johnny Depp comes to mind), but none has taken on this particular role with such scrupulous dedication and total disregard of its effect on the actual movie.

If you enjoy B-movies, this is one for you, plenty of nudity, a Tom Cruise look-a-like and even more stock shark footage. If that's not enough, the lead lady was actually in the first Shark Attack movie as a different character. This one makes me want to see the other two with my friends and laugh until I get sick. You really can appreciate a movie like this if you were an avid MST3K watcher. Oh yeah, contains the CORNIEST LINE EVER! You will not miss it, trust me.