Madame Web

It's astonishing to think that Sony could put out a worse product than 2022's Morbius, but boy, "Madame Web" manages it. It is an embarrassing mess. Talented stars wasted on probably one of the worst comic book movie ever (which nobody asked for). Filled with atrocious dialogue, awkward editing and laughable structure. It's a clunky, poorly-written, messy, and sloppy movie packed with some mediocre editing and performances.

The concept is interesting on paper, but it couldn't be saved due to it's terrible execution. "Madame Web" simply lacked the spark it needed in nearly every dept.

There is simply nothing memorable in this movie, except maybe some superhero costumes, but that doesn't redeem the fact that the movie is bad.

So yeah..."Madame Web" is yet another disappointing entry in the Sony's Spider-Less universe. It's like a love letter to an era of superhero films that people largely want to forget. The "Pepsi" adds are stand-out, it falls short of what could have been a decent movie in the hands of someone else twenty years ago.

Literally one of the worst superhero movies I have ever seen.

From the advertisements, I knew this movie wasn't going to be great but still, it surprised me how bad and boring it was. Everything about the direction, writing, characters, technical aspects, and designs are really awful. The writing is poor as there are many concepts, ideas and aspects that are messy and bland. The messy script creates poor dialogue from the cast and the characters are not interesting. The special effects looked even worse than the marketing and all of the performances were pretty bad. I honestly do feel bad for Dakota Johnson cause she is a good actress but she deserves to have better roles then this. It can be said for the same for the rest of the cast members.

The uses of product placements are annoying, action moments are dull, and and all in all, it was boring. Superhero movies shouldn't be boring but this really dragged on. It's unfortunate cause female superhero leads are something I love to see more like Wonder Woman and The Old Guard which are pretty fun. But unfortunately, it seemed that it likely isn't going to happen anytime soon.

There really isn't anything else to say.

Bad.

... when I saw Dakota Johnson was starring in it. Naturally I can't lay the entirety of this hot mess at her feet. But there is some really bad campy acting happening on her part, reminiscent of the Fifty Shades of Grey movies in which she starred. Perhaps it was because the director was more interested in the placement of Pepsi cans than her performance, but I digress.

Basically, this movie plays out like the cut scenes from a budget Xbox 360 game. From the ground up this thing just feels designed to fail. It feels almost Producersesque in its approach in just how every aspect is seemingly intentionally mangled, yet no one seems to care. How have we come so full circle to go through the glory of Infinity War/Logan/The Dark Knight to arrive all the way back to Batman and Robin and Catwoman levels of superhero flicks? (Bam!, Pow!, Gosh yes Batman!)

How did this movie make it so far that it has an actual release, and no one stopped it? How did this idea get green lit? Why did Sony give 80 million and turn over their valuable IP to the people that wrote Morbius, Gods of Egypt, Dracula Untold and The Last Witch Hunter? How did this get past the writing process and again have that script greenlit? How could no one on the set at any point stop things? How did no one in the editing room point out how bad it looked and how much of a mess it was?

But to the suits it's not about art and story. Instead it's about business, and people are just a commodity. It's cheaper to recycle known quantities, and practice nepotism and involve maybe less than talented friends, people you've worked with before, than go out and find artists with worthy stories. They don't care about art, they don't care about stories, they care about making this work for them financially, regardless of loss of reputation with audiences as a whole.

Youtuber Chris Stuckmann did a deep dive on the topic of big studios being generally run by folks who came up through management rather than the creative rungs such as writing and directing when he discussed this film. His take is worth watching. For some reason, Chris doesn't do critical movie reviews since he has become a filmmaker, but I can tell by his tone that, like me, he was completely displeased watching this one. I'd avoid it.

Look at the profiles for the writers that wrote Madame Web. You'll see virtually every movie they've written has a bad rating and bad reviews. Why then does Hollywood continually hire these same writers for these big budget films? I could understand if they wrote movies for Asylum Films because all their movies are terrible.

Madame Web is god awful! Very difficult to sit through. None of the main characters are likeable. Even the villain is lame. It seems like the entire movie was written to set up a sequel. But why would people spend money to see the sequel of a movie that is one of the worst movies ever written? I'm shocked at how bad this movie is and if there is a sequel I certainly wont bother watching it.

Stop hiring bad writers, Hollywood!

I don't understand what the big problem is. Yes, the movie may not be the best superhero movie, but the low ratings aren't justified either. Overall, the story is sometimes told in a rushed manner and the script doesn't deserve an Oscar, but overall the movie was entertaining. To be honest, I was expecting the worst and I was biased because of the negative ratings. After watching the movie, I couldn't understand all the hate for the movie at all. I'm already reasonably discerning when it comes to movies, but guys, let's be honest, this isn't an art house movie, this is popcorn cinema. The movie is supposed to entertain and it did. Even if it was a bit bumpy in places. Overall, I can recommend the movie to people who just want to be entertained. Not more and not less.