Zombie Night

Okay. Just follow me for a minute... It seems there's an off-screen nuclear war and now human-hungering zombies are overrunning the world. (I don't remember reading about this phenomenon after they dropped the bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.) Okay, now we meet a married couple with a kid who are driving home from a couple of at a remote cabin where, conveniently, there was no television or radio. When they turn on the car radio they listen to various television broadcasts (!) about the war and the zombies. Then the war breaks down and they decide to hide in a building, and... and... who cares.

I was predisposed to hate this movie because it began with an arty graphic treatment of a poem, which seemed inappropriate to the subject matter of the film. I didn't recognize the name of the poet. Then the credits began, and lo-and-behold, the poet was none other than one of the producers of the film: Amber L. Francis. Now, I'm thinking that this, rather than just being a backyard production, is a pretentious backyard production. However, at the end of the film, you discover that Ms. Francis, who was also a writer and actress in the film, died after the production. My condolences. Now, I understood the poem, and, in retrospect, I found it very poignant and moving. It was the best thing in the film.

I hadn't reviewed a film in a while on the IMDb, but, as I was watching this film, I knew I had to return. I couldn't wait to tear this thing apart. Now, out of respect for the late Ms. Francis, I will resist the urge. In fact, now I will actually try to compliment it.

Good things:

1. Some of the gore wasn't bad -- compared to films of a similar budget level. 2. The picture was in focus more often than it was out of focus. 3. Having the zombies only come out at night was a unique twist on the normal Romerian zombie world-view. 4. It wasn't the worst horror film in the world -- that would be "Ax'em." 5. The poem was touching (in context).

Okay, first of all, notice how all of the other reviewers who gave this movie a good rating are either: A) From Canada (where the movie was made) or B) Helped work on this movie or the second one ? Seriously, this movie was God-Awful Beyond Belief. Makes House of the Dead look like the greatest movie ever made !!! It is just the worst ! The acting: terrible. The editing: worst !! And here's what's also stupid. Zombie victims just give up so damn easily. If they get touched by a zombie, they just simply fall down and let them take them !! And let me talk about the boobs.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a man, so I like seeing boobs. But when it comes to bad horror movies, it is nothing more than a poor attempt at getting guys to pick this crap off the shelves and say "Hey dude, let's get this one! Looks like it's gonna suck, but there is nudity !!" My God !!

DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE !!! YOU WILL BECOME TWITCHY, EMOTIONALLY SCARRED, AND TEMPORARILY RETARDED !!

I don't really want to give this movie any stars at all because it was so bad that I have to own it. Yup, one of those that has so many things wrong with it in terms of story, dialogue, acting, plot holes and yes, editing, that it earns a place on my list of Most Fun Bad Movies Ever. It's up there with SHOWGIRLS and FEMALE MERCENARIES ON ZOMBIE ISLAND. MST3K was made for movies like ZOMBIE NIGHT. You could definitely drive a Humvie Limo through the plot holes and the way some of the people apathetically strolled away from the equally apathetic zombies reminded me of KIDS IN THE HALL's zombie sketch. And you gotta love an 'impenetrable barrier' made of a few wooden crates tied together with two pieces of rope. Heh. I'm gonna watch it again with friends.

First, I watch a lot of zombie flicks. At least one a week. My love for the genre includes all the B-horror indie stuff, made with a camera you got for Christmas, made with friends in school. But at least those kind of films know what they are.

Rarely do I feel the need to comment on a bad zombie movie, as there's so many out there it'd take up a lot of my time. But sometimes one comes along that just reeks of failure. Zombie Night is one of those.

I sought this out based on a review on ZMDB.org. The review said "good acting, plot, cared about the characters, check it out".. but holy crap, now I think it was all tongue-in-cheek. The acting is some of the worst I've seen. It's right up there with Zombie Nation and Rising Dead. The actors actually stammer their lines sometimes, as if it's difficult to speak. They're so poorly delivered I actually cringed a few times (when I wasn't laughing and rolling my eyes). The actors are like talking stone walls, until the script says "move," and then, they promptly become stone walls again.

The story is average, but execution is unenthusiastic and extremely bland. I pray this is the director's first film. You don't care about any of the characters (though you do want Derrek to make up his mind on staying or leaving), and just wait for the gory parts, of which there are few (though it is decent special effects for such a low-budget film). There's a couple topless scenes, but other than that, f***ing yawn.

Would've been 2/10 but I gave it an extra star for the decent bloodwork. I was glad when it was over. I wish I could wash this movie off of me.

Within the first 5 minutes I was struck with arrogance. You know how some movies begin with a quote or piece of poetry by some famous scholar or writer? Well this one starts with a quote, from one of the movies creators.

Then the movie really begins, a generic zombie film revolving around a group of survivors and their valiant efforts to survive the movies 90 minute runtime.

Full of the usual cliches but taking them considerably too far especially the one about the "Bad apple" of the group who jeopardises the safety of the others.

It gets stupid, we have a character who continues to be a liability from stealing to sabotaging to straight up murdering and yet our "Heroes" do little to prevent him from carrying on with his behaviour.

The bad acting, poor sound editing and writing which several times throughout the film made me cringe. It defies belief just how stupid this film is and to be clear I watch a lot of hyper low budget zombie affairs and this is one of the worst.

Even the most hardcore zombie fan will struggle with this embarassment.

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

Laughable acting

Awful writing

A hero simply called Dave, really?

The god monologue is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I would have shot Derek in the face, twice

If a man falls down it's best to talk for a while then shoot him in the head to save him from getting bitten

Even a person killed via a shot to the head will rise as a zombie