Replica

From the man behind such cult horrors as Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Birdemic 2: The Resurrection, and Julie and Jack comes his second feature, a "romantic sci-fi thriller", all used loosely since there isn't actually much romantic, science fiction or thrilling about Replica.

Computer chip salesman Joe undergoes a kidney transplant from biogeneticist Evelyn. Shame she did it though, because afterwards he begins to romance her, and by romance, I mean stalk, and not very well. Their relationship is short-lived, however. Not by his creep tendencies but by her death in a car accident (an extremely hilarious one I can't even begin to describe). With her body fresh underground, Joe "meets" actress Claudia, who happens to resemble Evelyn. Yes, this is an "homage" to Hitchcock.

As with Nguyen's other films, Replica is inept in practically every way. The acting is wooden, the script is... most likely nonexistent, the characters - or at least Joe - are unlikable (although the villain is scarfing the scenery). Keep an eye out for some surprise (and, given Nguyen's abilities, copyright infringing) celebrity appearances, as well as a very funny Nguyen-ception moment. I may give it a 1 out of 10 but the sheer incompetence of it all is a sight to behold.

OK, by now the film-going public is aware how cluelessly untalented James Nguyen is as a writer and director. All his scripts are essentially identical, usually involving a salesman and his horny friend, a hot blonde, some pseudo science, and really bad special effects. Plus he always wields the video camera like your great aunt does at a family get-together -- tilted, hard to hear, and out of focus. His films have the same plot, the same house, the same recurring actors -- the same everything, over and over.

And yet I always watch his movies -- repeatedly. I think I've watched "Replica" as much as I have "Birdemic". Why? I actually kind of like "Replica", probably even more than it's more famous sibling "Birdemic". "Replica" is shorter and sillier, so it's more fun and not such a commitment. Turn off your brain, keep your expectations low, veg out, and chuckle every once in a while until it ends.

Lana Dykstra as the Doctor makes it worth viewing just for her alone. Her acting is hilarious. Half the time you can't even understand her. She's attractive for sure, I was genuinely surprised how great she looked in her bikini during the inevitable James Nguyen sex scene. I can't find anything more about her after she starred in this movie. I'm curious what she looks like now. But in all seriousness I have to give her props simply because she agreed to star in this movie for no money, she put up with James' nonsense, and she tried her best.

Like exercising a Stock option at NCT software, this movie was worth the wait. More riveting than a sales pitch for serlr pnals or poorly simulated coitus in a bikini. Just when you think James Nguyen couldn't possibly top his previous works of genius, you find out you are right. Once again, the house from Birdemic steals the show with its riveting performance and super accessible driveway action. One major addition was the directors brother as the totally convincing and definitely not wearing his own clothes from home detective investigating a car accident. If you don't see this movie, you are better than me.

This film comes to us from the same director/writer who brought us Julie and Jack and the more well known Birdemic. Out of these three horrible films, this one ranks the worst of the trio of terror! Watch as people move about as no human being does, stammer over lines and shake profusely to indicate excitement. Listen as a bird in a cage literally chirps loudly enough to drown out the actors in the film! Be amazed by a opening credit sequence that looks like a screen saver when screen savers were first created!

The story, like most of the director's films is all over the place focusing on a salesman and a very awkward romance. He goes farther than he did with the other films, making the salesman Joe in this one literally stalk his prey and then have the horrid romance that ends in tragedy as his beloved dies in the slowest looking crash in movie history. Before the body is cold in the ground he is trying to put the moves on a new girl because she looks like his lost love and he even wants her to do her hair like the dead girl. Yeah, as I said the film has a creepy vibe.

So we get another bad film from the director who apparently never saw a real human being before because he obviously does not have the ability to direct one to act anything resembling how a real person acts. He does a good job directing real birds I guess. Joe comes across as really creepy, but the girl playing Evelyn/Claudia is cute...albeit a lousy actress!

So, if you want to watch a film where people do not act human then I suggest all three films I have mentioned. This one is the worst of the lot as it takes til nearly the end to get to the point forcing you to watch flashback scenes of absolutely mundane events that shed the light on nothing! The only thing good is seeing the lead girl in a bikini, but lets be real, you can see that and more in an adult film and quite honestly the acting is better!

I'm sure somewhere there is a formal definition of a movie. Assuming includes things like, the action was captured on film, there was a script, they were actors, they were sound, etc. Replica meets all of those criteria. However, it somehow fails to be a movie. There's very little action to capture, the script is full of plot holes and banal conversation, the actors shouldn't even really be called actors, and the sound is either nonexistent or noisy. I'm guessing that 99% of the people who have seen this watched the RiffTrax version of it. I can't imagine watching it without RiffTrax.