Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle

Granted, I didn't like the previous two movies, yet I still opted to sit down and watch this 2022 third movie in the series, titled "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle".

Was I expecting anything? Well, not really. I was hoping that they upped their game from the previous two abysmal movies, sure, but I wasn't harboring any expectations.

Writer and director James Nguyen delivered what had to have been the worst movie of 2022 here with "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle". Wow, just wow.

First of all, you have to wait 56 minutes before the birds make an appearance. And let's face it, the lousy animated birds from parts I and II is what drives you to go on to watch the third movie. I certainly was for me. And 56 minutes into a movie only 83 minutes long, before you are rewarded with those horrible animated birds that explode on impact.

Up to the 56 minute marker, the movie is nothing but a slow paced infomercial of how bad a state the Earth is in, about climate crisis, global warming and how humans are destroying the Earth. I am not kidding. It was literally all that was going; watching Ryan Lord and Julia Culbert walk around various locations and delivering gut-wrenching wooden dialogue about the state of the Earth.

The acting in the movie was toe-curling awful to witness. The performances were wooden and rigid at best. With absolute zero chemistry between the leading actor Ryan Lord (playing Evan) and leading actress Julia Culbert (playing Kim), and they both delivered performances that would make a dead man wake up and go "oh really now?" And the dance scene was just atrocious; never before have I seen such awkward and rigid dancing before my eyes. Actually there wasn't a single good performance throughout the 83 minutes of runtime that this infomercial for global warming and eco crisis ran for.

The movie is a dumpster fire of grand scale. The storyline is rubbish, especially since you have to wait close to an hour before those god awful animated birds show up. Then there was the issues with the lighting and quality of the picture, which kept alternating between shadowed haze and ordinary daylight. And the sound was equally bad; loud in some scenes and barely audible in others.

Visually then "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" was every bit as horrible as the previous two movies. With lousy animated birds, sea eagles this time, that exploded on impact and just using the same two frames of animated birds over and over. I mean, even when people were shooting and fending off birds with various tools, there weren't even birds in the picture most of the time.

But hey, at least "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" is good for a laugh once past the 56 minute marker.

"Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" from writer and director James Nguyen was bad, so very, very bad. My rating of "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" lands on a one out of ten stars. Without a doubt the worst movies I have stumbled upon from 2022.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this one. Some of us suffered through it, so you don't have to.

The film making presented in this movie is horrendous. Somehow Nguyen has managed to regress as a film maker over his 4 feature films. This movie is not even so bad it's good. It is painful to watch and offers almost no entertainment value as it is somehow a worse retelling of the first film. Somehow the writer/director managed to cram more hamfisted and clunky dialogue than his previous works so that Birdermic 3 manages to be both simultaneously extremely boring and also insulting to the audience's intelligence. There is nothing new here to warrant viewing this film as the same issues of the prior 2 films in the series are also present in this film. The plot is literally exactly the same, the same terrible bird special effects are used and the same awful editing is present throughout. As a result, Birdemic 3 has no entertainment value whatsoever. Save your money and put on the first film with the saturation turned way down.

Let me start out with this...

If you liked Birdemic 1 & 2, do yourself a favor, and skip this entry. I'm dead serious. Don't bother.

You thought waiting 30mins (Birdemic 1) or 45 mins (Birdemic 2) to see the bad cg birds was bad?? Try waiting an hour in an hour and 23min long movie, and somehow, the birds look actually worse than they did in the prior two installments. Hell, Alan Bagh doesn't even show up in the movie until just after the birds. But you know what you do get to see?? The absolute worst & stiffest acting humanly possible by "paid professionals."

Once again, James Nguyen follows the same plot as he did the last two times, but somehow... worse. Each scene is some random person spewing exposition at the lead actors, sounding like they're just reading wikipedia articles held up by James off scene. Each character preaches at length in each scene, making the movie seem to last an eternity, despite being just a few minutes.

Hell, there is literally a scene where we watch the lead man watch tv for 5 minutes, with the camera panning around him & room, as he eats a sandwich. Before that, we get to watch both leads stand on a pier & watch a 5 man protest of wikipedia reading & unemotional yelling for another 5mins.

Honestly, skip this movie. Unless you're going to see it in person, with Alan & James there, in the theatre, so you can ask them "Why?"

For a movie that "tries" to be the horror version of Captain Planet and failed royally (if that wasn't a clue from the last movies). It doesn't help that not only story doesn't improve , but there acting for the third time makes tommy wiseau look like John cena.

Outside of minor changes and by minor I mean mononucleosis changes...bad weapons, bad messages of climate change, bad cgi did I forget to say bad cgi birds? Yeesh just watch the birds and throw these 3 movies in the computer trash bin Before I go I will say this: it's really hard to say anything about this when the weapons are the same damn things.

I've watched a LOT of bad movies, it's my favorite genre. Tons of titles most people have never heard of. Some are okay, some are amazing, and a precious few have zero redeeming features. Birdemic 3 is the latter. It really is awful. The first hour is mostly people walking or driving from point A to point B, and you get to watch on real time the entire journey, usually with no dialog. One scene in particular had the 2 leads walking across a empty lot towards a small building. They are seen walking, then you see the building, implying that is where they are headed. If you've ever seen a movie, you understand that is their destination. But we get to realm with them, all 200 feet, in silence, but from a few different angles. It takes about 45 seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. And this is one of many scenes that drag on to get the run time to 80 minutes. It's painful. Not to mention when their is dialog, it's about how humans are ruining the planet and causing global warming. That's fine if it's an Al Gore documentary, but this is Birdemic. I want cheesy special effects, low budget gore, and bad one liners. The birds don't appear until almost the 60 minute mark, and the movie runs just around 80+ minutes.

If you're a completist like me, and you need to watch all three Birdemic movies, just know this is by far the worst of them. It took me 4 nights just to get through it, as I kept falling asleep.

It really is that hard to watch as it has nothing to keep your interest.