Les portes de l'enfer

Corpses Are Forever (2003) is a waste of time. The film makers tried to make a cool movie but thinking somethings cool when it's not sucks, and so did this film. Instead of wasting money on B-Movie actors who know the product sucks, they should have spent in on production and writing a decent script. This movie is why Asylum is a joke of a company. They think they're Troma and they act like their product is all that and a bag of chips. You think that a company with the name Asylum would make edgy and horrific films that'll shock and terrorize you. Instead they scare you from watching any of their d.v.d.s

When you're making a movie, don't try and bring up cooler movies just so you can get some cred amongst old school horror fans. It wont work. You'll seem like you're reaching for some thing (and anything). The concept of this movie was interesting. Anybody could have made it work. The problem lies with these people. They just don't know how to make a watchable movie. Throwing stuff at the wall and seeing if it sticks is no way either. I could have made a better movie movie with $10,000 and three digital cameras.

Perhaps there's a market for this crap. I don't know who would watch this tripe but there must be. Just remember, have a decent script, motivated actors, a good director and lots of lighting. If you follows these rules you can make something that's watchable. If you try to make a movie that'll entertain yourself, you'll end up on the short end of the stick every time.

Not recommended. This movie is so bad it'll crack the lens within your d.v.d. player.

I picked up this DVD in Hollywood Video hoping for a little zombie fix. Instead, I found myself going "Huh?"

CORPSES LAST FOREVER tries to be an original take on the zombie genre. The prologue before the credits is not bad. In black and white, we find a young man lying on the floor all bloodied. As he revives, a voice-over of his thoughts are trying to piece together what happened to him. He feels no pain, even though he has been shot and suffered a mangled leg. He grabs a gun on the floor and goes in search of his car.

OK, I was somewhat hooked at this moment.

After the opening credits roll (a take on James Bond films), we are introduced to a guy who has no idea who or where he is. But all of a sudden, he is kung-fooing some zombies who seem to be lined up left and right of center. This is where I start to groan, because these kicks and punches are NOT landing at all! I was reminded of the Elvis comeback special where Big E is showing off his martial arts moves in a musical/dance sequence where E seems to be kicking major bad-guy ass but the moves miss and the bad guys just merely jump and roll on the floor.

The plot of the movie seems to be part spy adventure, part army commando film and part devil-taking-over-the-world scenario. Zombies? Yes, there are zombies, but they seem to more fodder for the star to use his kung-foo than the driving force for the plot.

Jose Prendes wrote, directed, produced and stars in dual roles as the flashback guy and the kung-foo spy. Supposedly funded by Prendes' trust fund, the budget really shows. He seems to try and pay homage to several genres here. Several horror vets appear alongside Prendes; Richard Lynch, Debbie Rochon and Lennea Quigley (No, guys. She doesn't show any skin). Don Calfa (Ernie from ROTLD) is listed as a producer, along with Lynch. This Prendes must have some connections down there in Miami, where this was filmed.

Now the zombie action.

There is no munching, head shots or vacarious gore. NONE! The zombies only seem to stagger around while Prendes kung-foos them around and roll on the floor. Just like Elvis.

"Corpses Are Forever" is essentially a home movie expanded to feature length. The only bright spot in the production is that the film maker Prendes actually got this thing on video store shelves.

For a zombie flick, Prendes could have delivered more zombies. The story is pretty convoluted, but it fails because it doesn't deliver on the promise of being a zombie-fest. I think I made this same movie when I was in high school. Maybe I should have peddled it around town as Jose did.

"Corpses" is pretty bad right out of the gate. I had to turn the volume way up just to understand what the main character was muttering -- and was that an English accent he was reaching for?

If Prendes made this movie as a high school student, than some kudos. But beyond that, it is not worth more than 5 minutes of your time, if that. This really is an example of how not to make a monster movie.

All the positive reviews here on imdb this film has got (which is the only place you will find any) are very suspicious, as they all sound like canned PR material from the distributor. "Destined to become a cult classic" and "good old fashioned popcorn matinee", jeesh!! Of course I should expect as much from Asylum entertainment - purveyors of schlock even Charles Band wouldn't sit through.

As soon as I saw that the films lead was also the films writer, producer, and director, I knew I was in for trouble. First of all the kid can't act, neither can anyone else in the film, save for Richard Lynch who was barely watchable himself. Bad sound, bad effects and the story just plain sucked, a mishmash of rip-offs from the matrix, total recall, and James bond. And in a film that was about 90 min, there was only about 10 min of Zombie action.

The DVD box claims "its night, dawn, and day of the dead at once" Now that implies allot of living dead action, but nope. None to be found, just the films director running around with bad martial arts, and a performance that made me wince at every word. Don't rent, buy or even consider this film if you are a living dead head. You can tell how bad it is by reading all the fake reviews here that the filmmaker and his buddies probably put up themselves.

I'm always one to give a zombie movie a chance. This was more of a thriller that had zombies in it. Some zombies. The movie tried to impress upon you that the world had been overrun by zombies (why?), but there was never any tangible sense of fear or terror. This was a total vanity project.

As a newly minted Debbie Rochon fan, I had wanted to see her performance. The homicidal character she portrayed didn't serve much, if any, purpose. It was as though she was there to prop up the main character as a hottie girlfriend, but that was stretching the truth too far. The lead, in the B/W sequences, looked like a high schooler in a home movie. And it seemed like in every scene he was checking his clip for bullets. And the kungfu scenes... woah boy. And dude, keep your shirt on, that Bacardi bat tattoo was too skimpy looking (not bad ass, but ass-bad).

I did like Richard Lynch's over-the-top acting. And, there is something nice about seeing Brinke Stevens and Linnea in another horror film. In fact, I would have enjoyed more seeing Brinke, Linnea, Debbie, and Richard talking about horror films. That would have been interesting. However, this film is truly marred by the deus-ex-machina at the end with Linnea showing up saying "You owe me one (two... three...). In any sequel she would probably show up whenever the heroes were in trouble and bail them out. How unimaginative! Speaking of deus-ex-machina, let's have a serum that induces a flashback and amnesia that has little to do with the story! And let's have a bright white room with no segue to the other scenes.

Why, WHY, does one actor bring up John Carpenter's "They Live"? All of a sudden I was thinking about that film, and how much better it was than Corpses. It took all I had not to turn off the movie then and there. I'm a big fan of indie cinema and horror films, but this film simply falls short in so many ways. Total vanity project- it's as if the writer/director shelled out bucks for some talent and couldn't deliver on the script. The positives? Rochon, Quigley, Lynch, some of the lighting, and the car. The zombies sucked. But I'm sure the cast and crew had a fun old making it.