Le scomunicate di San Valentino

This movie is such a complete waste of time even for people like me who kind of like the much-maligned "nunsploitation" genre that I'm going to focus on the ONLY conceivable reason to endure this swill--lead actress Jenny Tamburi (who died earlier this year by the way, lest I come off sounding like a stalker). Tamburi (aka Lucia Della Robbins) was one of a truly incredible crop of young Italian actresses that got their start in early 1970's Italian/European genre films. Of them, only Ornella Mutti became a big international star, but Gloria Guida made quite an impression in softcore sex films. Daria Nicolodi kind of fell into the shadow of Dario Argento (but DID give birth to Asia Argento)while Agostina Belli was breathtakingly beautiful but not a strong enough actress to really break into the big leagues. There's MANY other actresses of this era I could mention, but the one talent that I really felt was wasted was Jenny Tamburi.

Tamburi was excellent in a pretty decent Italian giallo "Smile Before Death", but unfortunately I might be the only person who's seen it. (I'd try to describe the incredible nude photography scene she has with Rosalba Neri in that movie, but I don't want to drool all over my keyboard). She was in Fulci's "Seven Black Notes" all too briefly but really managed to liven up that rather dull film while she was on-screen. She was also in "Frankenstein All'Italia" which has never been translated into English, Sergio Martino's "Suspicious Death of a Minor" (which is being released on DVD in September 2006), and the lurid mother/daughter sex fantasy film "La Seduzione" (like Ornella Mutti, she got kind of typecast into sexy teen roles well into her twenties, but unlike Mutti she never got beyond it).

Normally I wouldn't recommend a dire movie like this based on one pretty girl (or even one pretty, naked girl), but then again I've seen every Jess Franco movie featuring Soledad Miranda and a shameful number of them with Lina Romay, so why listen to me? Put it this way: if you enjoy seeing beautiful and talented young Italian actresses from the golden age of Italian exploitation films, I'd recommend checking out ANY available movie on Jenny Tamburi/Lucia Della Robbin's CV--even this one.

Aaaah! The '70s - THE decade of the exploitation movie: Italian cannibal films, blaxploitation, Nazisploitation, and, of course, nunsploitation, of which The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine is a prime example. It's not the most explicit of naughty nun movies, but it does tick a lot of the expected boxes: hot nuns, sex, torture, a crazy abbess, lesbianism, and murder, making it a reasonably fun time for fans of the genre.

Clearly inspired by Romeo and Juliet, the plot sees lovers Lucita (Jenny Tamburi) and Esteban (Paolo Malco) unable to wed because of the long-running feud between their families. To make matters even worse, Lucita is sent to a covent by her father, while Esteban is accused of heresy and hunted by the Inquisition. Chased by three soldiers, Esteban is wounded, but still manages to kill his attackers and make his way to the convent where Lucita is living. Given sanctuary by the verger, Esteban is reunited with Lucita, but not for long... the poor woman is wrongly accused of the murder of her lesbian room-mate Josefa (Bruna Beani) and sentenced to be burned alive. Can Esteban prove her innocence before it is too late?

The naughtiness is limited to bare breasts and butts, and one rather tame sex scene - there's nothing quite on the level of dirty Joe D'amato or sleaze-master Jess Franco - but the women who shed their clothes are mostly attractive, with Tamburi as Lucita being especially sexy; it's no wonder Esteban is willing to risk his life for her. Likewise, the torture isn't too extreme - no nipple slicing or skin flaying on this occasion - but it suffices. Director Sergio Grieco keeps the pace lively throughout, leading to a tense race against time to rescue Lucita from a drooling horde of crazed topless nuns, with a happy ending for these particular star cross'd lovers.

I seem to be in the minority here. I actually enjoyed this film. Or maybe more accurately, I was pleasantly surprised. The reason I stand in the minority camp here clearly seems to be because I have very little knowledge of the genre known as nunsploitation. My lack of experience in this most specific of exploitation genres has perhaps saved me from disappointment. While seasoned fans of this type of flick bemoan the lack of full-on sleaze here, I truthfully never noticed and was instead pleased to see a film with good production values and a surprisingly coherent storyline. The only other title from this sub-genre that I can remember ever seeing was Ken Russell's delirious shock-fest The Devils. Although I haven't seen Russell's excellent film in at least a decade, I certainly remember it well enough. Who, in all honestly, could forget something like that? Now, while The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine is nowhere near as good, it clearly derived inspiration from Ken's classic, sharing, as it does, the somewhat specific feature of a whole convent of nuns being declared servants of Satan by the religious establishment and then subsequently going temporarily deranged in a sex-crazed fashion.

Set in Spain during the Inquisition, the story is about the trials of a young couple who are in love. The girl's father disapproves of the relationship and sends his daughter to a convent, while denouncing her lover a heretic. After a series of unfortunate events, the Inquisition denounces the whole convent of nuns and seals them inside their monastery alive. This leads the girl's lover on a quest to save her.

The above synopsis is a really abridged account of what happens in this film. Although the story is quite expansive, it is, unusually for Italian cinema, a coherently told affair. Acting is of a good standard too with no one really letting the side down. The cinematography, soundtrack and period detail are all of a very good standard too. So really when you take all of the above into account The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine is a pretty well put-together affair. I guess it all comes down to expectations; hardened fans (no pun intended) of this sub-genre want more sleaze basically. And although I am certainly not one to argue with that, I enjoyed this as a nicely put together exploitation movie.

It's another Romeo and Juliet story where two families at loggerheads forbid the lovers to meet, claiming Esteban is a heretic and murderer and an unworthy suitor for beautiful Lucita.

Set upon by soldiers of the Inquisition Esteban scarcely survives as he staggers into a nearby convent where Lucita and the verger dress his wounds and care for him in a secret room.

Esteban and Lucita plan to elope from the convent but their escape is thwarted. Lucita is accused of murdering one of the nuns and her love for Esteban has brought shame and disgrace to the sanctity of the Order. She is to be burned at the stake in the main square of Seville.

One considers that this is drama enough, but the action has scarcely begun.

Because of the terrible sins committed within the old stone walls, the Inquisition demands that all entrances and openings to the convent shall be walled up. When Esteban hears of this he flies into action as any real hero would.

The imprisoned nuns ( I am not sure why) begin to tear off their clothes as they crave for food and water in utter despair. Bare-breasted they roll about on the floor, screaming for water, licking the walls where a few droplets may have appeared. We could be watching Greek drama, but more likely the naked bodies are purposely introduced to add an interesting interlude for male viewers who find watching life as it unfolds in a convent normally rather unexciting.

This is not a great film by any means, but admittedly the setting is different and there is plenty of action..... sword-fights, scaling castle walls, torture chambers, secret passage ways etc. We have the power of the Church versus the innocence of the lovers....an interesting situation which could go either way.

It is worth watching right to the end to find out if this romantic couple suffers the same fate as Romeo and Juliet. We hope not of course, but when the Inquisition interprets the laws of the Church the fate of lovers is never certain.

Until the annual Quentin Tarantino film fests began in Austin a couple of years back, I must admit to being naive with regards to the Italian Horror genre.

I enjoy, from time to time, a little mindless entertainment shall we say, and The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine could hardly be more mindless. Lots of naked nuns and plenty of the mentally disturbed highlight this 93 minute epic. Don't let me give away the big entombment finish.

Not for all tastes, but if you want to try one on (Italian Horror) this benign little foray is a good starting point. Take on Mario Bava at a later date.