Baby on Board

Far from trash but close enough to boredom.

"Baby on Board" is one strange movie. What the hell did Carol Kane think when she choose this role? Her talent is wasted and she can't perform as good as in other movies. Gee, she even gets in physical contact with a rat on a garbage deposit! She also gets crap all over her, not to mention that she had to run for most of the movie. Oh, if she wasn't prettier... The movie starts in a strange manner with religious chorus or chants while we see that Mrs. Kane prepares herself for committing a murder; later we know that the younger and dumb mafia member (who ruined a building and some companies) killed (by confusion) Kane's husband.

In the airport Kane (also by accident) murders the mafia young man (we later know he's named Frankie). The mafia members (including the deceased older brother) go after her for revenge. She escapes in one cheesy scene and takes a taxi cab, driven by Ernie Martin who is believed to have the cleanest taxi in the city. We learn that the mafia leader didn't care at all about his dead brother, but he wants revenge because he considers that his pride and respect. Now, he wants to kill the woman, the baby, and the taxi cab driver! He investigates and later finds them all...

Kane escapes but leaves her baby girl (not so baby!) in the cab and it's now up to Ernie to escape from the mafia and return the baby to her mother. Ernie finds about the baby girl in a really cheesy manner.

Well this movie isn't funny at all. In fact, it isn't defined whether if it's a comedy or a dramatic movie with comedic tones. I was confused. The whole mafia concept was taken too seriously to be a comedy but the baby and taxi cab situations clash with the serious tone of the movie.

Anyways, watch this movie to understand the huge difference and contrast between Hollywood big budget for "comedic adventure" and the budget for independent movies.

Maria (Carol Kane) is a mobster's new widow. She decides to take out the man who accidentally killed her husband...and surprise! After deciding NOT to do it, a teenager hits her bag, holding the gun, and the bullet finds its target. Now this slain mobster's brother is after her and her adorable four year old child, Angelica. Got all that? As part of the chase, Maria hops in Ernie's (Judge Reinhold) cab and tells him to step on it. Ernie and Maria do a good job of staying just ahead of the mobsters but after encounters at the bowling alley, the hospital, and the train station, could their luck be running out? And, is it possible that Ernie may be falling for Maria? This is not a bad little film, once one gets into the spirit. Reinhold has more opportunities to display his comedic talent than Kane, which is too bad, but they both elicit laughs. Kane's darling daughter absolutely steals all of her scenes and makes everyone want to hug her to pieces. Most importantly, the script has an eye for comedy, even with bullets flying. For example, when Kane takes refuge in a woman's shop, the mobsters come out covered in filmy underwear, much to their delight. Take a chance on this film, if you think you can love the inspired trio of romantic comedy, cute kiddies, and inept hit men. It is a good diversion for an otherwise boring day.

Ernie (Judge Reinhold) is a cool-headed prim taxicab driver in NYC. Maria (Carol Kane) is looking to escape the mob to Canada with her little girl. The mob is sending Frankie out to Toronto for killing Maria's husband. Maria has second thoughts about killing Frankie at the airport but a purse-snatching-gone-wrong ends up with Frankie getting shot anyways. She escapes into Ernie's cab. They are chased for a long ride by the mob guys. She runs off leaving her kid with him as her guardian angel.

The biggest problem is that they're shooting Toronto for NYC in much of the movie and it looks even worst than most of its kind. This is a really poorly made movie. It's almost amateurish. I'm surprised that they got Judge Reinhold and Carol Kane in this. On the one hand, the movie is trying (and failing) to be a hard crime thriller. On the other hand, the movie is trying to be wacky with the help of Judge (and failing). Carol is only who scrapes by because she's not trying to do too much. She plays it straight and leaves the stupidity to everybody else. The girl is a real cutie pie but sometimes I can't understand her. This is really sad.

There are some actors who ought to shoot their agents. Such is the case of Judge Reinhold, a capable, versatile performer who has slid down to playing second banana in many less than good productions. Here, he plays a cab driver who's left holding the baby (literally)when her mother leaves her child in his taxi, their better to elude the mobster who's after her, for having killed his "kid brother", a mafia torpedo who had murdered the girls husband (by mistake!) Carol Kane, who maybe should change agents, if not shoot hers too, has the prettiest eyes in Hollywood which are a great help when she looks harassed, that is to say, most of the time in this low budget adventure. Nevertheless, both leads are so likable that they keep the viewer interested throughout the not very original plot, that hesitates fatally between a thriller and a romantic action comedy.

Konrad-7.

When mob widow Maria goes to the airport with her daughter she accidentally kills the mobster who killed her husband. With the guy's brother on her tail Maria jumps into Ernie's taxi to get away. To save her daughter, Maria leaves her in the cab and runs. Ernie initially tries to return the girl, but then becomes more concerned with ensuring that Maria and Angelica can get away safely.

When a film's headline stars are Judge Reinhold and Carol Kane, you know that you're not talking multi-million blockbuster material. However Reinhold has made some good, albeit cheap, movies recently and you never know. However this tries to be too much - maybe because the director didn't know what he wanted. At the start it plays like a thriller, then it becomes a chase movie, once the baby gets left it becomes a comedy and a romance before reverting back to chase and thriller for the finale. None of it convinces and none of it works. There are no real thrills, no excitement and certainly no laughs or romantic sparks.

The cast are naturally poor because they have nothing to do. Reinhold just looks bored as he is trapped doing the `man with a cute kid routine'. Kane is OK but never looks like a lead actresses or a mob widow. As for the twins that play Angelica, they are sickingly cute! (but is that what this film needed?)

Overall this film doesn't know what it wants to be and tries to cover 5 or 6 different genres at different stages. This gives it a disjointed feel and ultimately is the reason it all fails. It would have been much better to throw in a lot of good gags and play the whole thing tongue in cheek for laughs.