Dinosaur Island

The day after I saw this movie, I called my friend Cass in Florida and said "Cass, you have to see this movie." "It's that good?" "No, it's that bad!"

There is no better way to describe this movie. It has the audacity to say 'Dinos genetically bred and trained by' instead of 'SFX by' in the credits, and has the only drunken redneck T-Rex in history. (Of course he is, just look at that pot-belly)

I have to confess that I only rented the movie because it had Dinos and girls in leather bikinis, 2 things near and dear to my heart, but after about 20 minutes of watching, I actually put away my alcohol, turned off the computer game I was playing and restarted the movie so I could catch every last horrible, horrible detail.

For those that like 'So bad it's good' movies as I do, then this is the ultimate 'must-see' movie.

Steelblade

in this Jim wynorski/Fred Olen ray co production,military police transporting misfit soldiers crash land on an uncharted prehistoric island,with rubbery dinosaurs and sexy busty cave girls,its silly stuff the special effects are pretty bad except for the t-Rex(some stock footage from carmosaur)the b-movie cast includes;Richard gabai,Ross hagen,Antonia Dorian,Becky lebeau,Michelle Bauer,Nikki fritz,and griffin drew.the cave girls speak perfect English and look very good in their prehistoric bikinis.its co produced by roger corman.dinosaur island is'nt bad,its entertaining if you overlook all the flaws.cornball all the way with some nudity,but who's complaining.sexy Nikki fritz is in the opening scene her body and face painted blue,look for all natural beauty;Becky Le beau as the Dino sacrifice.i may be crazy but ill give dinosaur island 6 out of 10.

I can't help but enjoy this movie. It's a jiggle-movie that manages to make fun of jiggle-movies. Whether or not this was intended is irrelevant. One can very plainly tell that the cast and crew are NOT taking themselves seriously on this project. The dinosaurs appear to be recycled from the Carnosaur movies, with no regard for achieving realism. The filmmakers have a great time using the oldest effects tricks in the book for this movie. Again, like a lot of movies, this one is the type that is best enjoyed by those who enjoy a good, BAD movie.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

It's 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I just had a shot of jack and finished off my third beer. This party is out of control! I just watched "Dinosaur Island" followed by an episode of "Black Tie Nights" on Cinemax. This couple was on a date and then they had sex. That's the show. Genius eh?

Speaking of genius, "Dinosaur Island" was a T&A spectacular. Three army guys crash land on the island of the prehistoric breast implants. They must prove themselves worthy of their big bouncy affection by slaying the really cheap dinosaur that prowls the island. The girls are confused by the new arrivals in their midst. "What is this thing you men call love?" The guys are ready to shed the cavegirl's clothes and get this party started on a Saturday night.

Once again, I must give praise where it's due. Michelle Bauer is the real deal. As the women pair off with the men, Michelle chooses the fattest loser to hook up with. She gives hope to all of us dorks out here every time she rips off her bra. Thank you Michelle for getting naked for us again. There are plenty of other women who take their tops off as well. So that's good too.

All of the dinosaur scenes were ridiculously cheap but I didn't mind. You don't think I actually watched this for the dinosaurs do you? Of course not. Anyway, "Dinosaur Island" is a good T&A flick. It's worth a look for B-movie lovers.

One last thing, keep an eye out for Nikki Fritz who shows up at the very beginning of the movie. I thought she looked familiar but I didn't realize it was her until after the credits rolled. She is the High Priestess who has her breasts painted blue and dances around like a stripper. Apparently the dinosaur is attracted to the human sacrifice by the hypnotic gyrations of cavewoman pole dancing.

Just reading the credits alone for this film caught the eyes of the Eye Candy Hall of Fame academy. It is a joint product of the auteurs Wynorski and Olen Ray, known for their unique visual style, classy special effects, and strong women characters. It stars All-Century team beauty Michelle Bauer. It has dinosaurs on an island roaming free before they were confined to zoos. Upon watching the film, the real pleasure was the star-turning performances of Antonia Dorian and Griffin Drew. Ms. Drew is a very gifted actor and earned 2nd team All-Century status with her charm, which was especially evident during the healing scene. All three leading ladies and some minor characters help elevate this film beyond just a travelogue. We don't know how, but we would all enjoy seeing more of these lovely women.