Dark Vengeance

This movie was just stunningly average. Decent concept, but the plot falters about 5 minutes into the movie and gets bogged down in a mind-numbingly boring morality play, complete with silly voice-overs, insipid bad guys (especially the leader, who's about as menacing as Richard Simmons), seemingly random fight scenes which seem to occur at specifically timed intervals when the terribly paced "story" footage runs out, and endless boring pointless shots of dune buggies zooming around in the desert.

Basically, this could've become mindless entertainment if they'd thrown out all the idiotic subplots, extended the fight scenes significantly and shaved the film's running time down to around 75 minutes. The characters are so inane that I keep wishing they'd just get on with killing each other so they'd at least shut up and stop reciting endless boring dialog from off-camera cue cards written on the spot. I literally had to focus on keeping myself awake while watching it. Mediocrity, thy name is Warlords 3000.

I've seen worse movies, but not without Tom Servo and Crow offering witty commentary. Where to start? Well, the acting is attrocious, the scriptwriting is inept, the plot was stupid, the cinematography was amateurish, the action scenes were worse than second-rate pro wrestling, and the editing took the 100 monkeys, 100 pairs of scissors approach. Do yourself a favor, watch a test pattern instead.