Le Vainqueur

i never thought this was a bad movie. my mom used to watch it all the time,and loved it. i don't love it,but i still think it's all right. stallone is funny in this movie. not real funny,but funny. the plot is full of holes,but amusing,and entertaining scenes help me forget about the holes in the plot. all in all it's not as bad as people say. i give rhinestone **1/2 out of ****

Rhinestone has been one of those notorious flops I'd always heard about like Glitter or Showgirls that you just had to see to believe. Now that I've seen it, I can safely say that they were right. Unfortunately, Rhinestone isn't some hidden gem that just had the misfortune of bad marketing, cruel reviews, or being ahead of its time - it's truly terrible.

The story has Dolly Parton as a country western singer in NYC who's desperate to get out of a contract she's locked herself into with a sleazy Ron Liebman. In order to do this, they wager a bet that she can't turn a regular Joe off the street into a "rhinestone cowboy." They pick dimwitted cabbie Sylvester Stallone and it becomes apparent that Parton has her work cut out for her.

In typical rom com fashion, Parton and Stallone strike up somewhat of a romance, but the main issue is that they have very little chemistry together. Stallone seems miscast from the get go. He doesn't have a funny or musical bone in this body and most of the film shows Parton struggling to get him to lighten up and it's very uncomfortable to watch. Perhaps if there'd been a different leading man, this would have worked since the concept isn't horrible.

Parton proves again that she's a natural on screen and she's enjoyable even when the film isn't.

This is one of the funniest Stallone comedies there is, if nothing else for the fact that Stallone is so bad at it! Imagine an NYC cab driver turned country & western singer? What could be better than that? Dolly provides a solid comedy performance as well. If nothing else check this out just for the laughs!

Now, there are lots of films that are total trash, and when I saw the comments and reviews on this one, I thought I was in for a real stinker. Big surprise: I actually laughed several times during this! Dialogue unfunny? I've heard some good stuff here (e.g. the comments by Stallone on his rival Barnett, as well as the dialogue of these two), and you could do a lot worse. And I mean A LOT! Bad acting? Now, Sly will never be an oscar-winner (though he was pretty good in COPLAND), but at least he's likeable. I've never seen Steven Seagal or my fellow countryman JC Van Damme being likeable. Dolly may not be the greatest actress either, but hell, she CAN sing (and I thought I couldn't stand country!)and she's adorable in a way that even reminds me of Marilyn Monroe. Love it when she laughs too. Well, and with support from actors such as Ron Leibman (Razzie nominee? This guy is funny and appropriately slimy)and Richard Farnsworth (THE STRAIGHT STORY, always a pleasure to watch). The singing? Well, if ya like Dolly's singing, there's plenty of it in this film. And Sly ain't that bad either. Not great, but hey, what you expect given the story. This is supposed to sound like this, this ain't the biography of say Garth Brooks! I even liked the macho country singer singing about his girl ending up in pieces (lol).

I know, this ain't the greatest comedy of all times, this ain't a rave review, and people (especially critics) like to make fun of Sly and Dolly. But you can do a lot worse than this and end up with films such as BAD DEFENSE or BATMAN & ROBIN, EXCESS BAGGAGE, SHALLOW HAL or (shudder) BLIND DATE (with Bruce Willis). I was really surprised that I ended up enjoying this, and that I actually laughed a couple of times. The story has almost no surprises, but it ain't terribly cliched either. And that, people, is more than you can say about 90% of the comedies these days. 6/10

This is a genuinely funny movie in parts and that may really be what it was all about and perhaps I should just accept it as such and leave it be. But this movie is so fun to trash! Dolly plays, well... Dolly, as she usually does in every movie she has ever been in. She is poured into impossibly tight outfits and she is indeed formidable. One wonders how she is able to breath in these tight outfits, much less talk and sing. Richard Farnsworth plays old codgers pretty well. Sylvester, steals the show playing a character so unlike anything he had played before (or since in fact). Well, the basic New York/East Coast type of guy seems to be a constant thing, but to take him out of Tennessee and attempt to make him into a country singer? Unfortunately, we see why his singing career never took off, despite his attempts to "sing funny" he sounds like a drunk in a karaoke bar at 2am and moves like he trying to do half-remembered Mick Jagger stage routines.

Funny movie though, his yelling and screaming while playing the organ made me laugh even before the scene's real punchline was revealed.

Recommended if you enjoy getting good looks at Dolly Parton's early 1980s figure and like seeing Stallone make fun of himself. Show this one movie with a selection of his early porn work and make the debacle complete.