Death Cruise

"Death Cruise" (1974) is one of those nice little mysteries that follows the tradition of "Ten Little Indians" and Agatha Christie. The story follows three couples (one old, one middle age, and one young) who have seemly won a free cruise from the same contest that none of them can remember entering (never an encouraging sign in this type of movie). And sure enough, faster than you can say Sherlock Holmes, they quickly discover that it was all a ruse to get them on board as one by one, they all begin to meet their ends at the hands of a murderer. The one hope that might save them comes in the form of the ship's good doctor, Dr. Burke (Michael Constantine) who takes on the role of the amateur detective very competently. All of the actors play their parts very well, with Tom Bosley and Cheleste Holm as the older couple who are struggling to find their way now that their children are all grown up, Richard Long as a philandering husband and Polly Bergen as his poor wife, along with Edward Albert and Kate Jackson as a young couple just starting out, and Cesare Danova as the ship's captain. All of this, plus an enormous twist ending that Alfred Hitchcock himself might have appreciated, make this a nice pleasant movie to watch, especially if you like to dream of a simpler time, like the 70s. Catch it on you tube sometime. 8 out of 10.

An ocean cruise is set for murder involving several couples, who believe they've won a trip. Unbeknownst to them they've all been lured on the cruise to be murdered by an unknown person.... It is up to Dr. Burke to piece together the clues that connect all these couples together and before more murders occur.

The Love Boat meets And Then There Were None courtesy of Aaron Spelling. Like The Love Boat we have a variety of guests, all couples, who have their problems; jealous gravel-voiced Polly Bergen is married to womaniser Richard Long, a dissatisfied Tom Bosley is married to oblivious Celeste Holm, and the baby-crazy Kate Jackson is married to not-baby-crazy Edward Albert. Doctor-at-large Michael Constantine and captain Cesare Danova fill out the ship's crew.

I sort of guessed who the murderer is, but it's fun getting there. It's light-hearted, but still has some suspense with its air of a calm-before-the storm. Also there's some histrionics from the assortment of characters; It's nicely constructed and ends well with a nice twist.

Seems to me there have been more than enough movies (or episodes on TV shows) wherein a mystery killer picks off a group of people one by one, and then crosses their faces with a big 'X' on a group-photo where everyone is smiling and happy. The theatrical film "The Last of Sheila" used a group-photo as a red herring, but "Death Cruise" doesn't have time for subtlety. It's a telefilm, short on time and short on budget. A would-be "Ten Little Indians", the cast is littered with has-beens (Richard Long), should-have-beens (Edward Albert), and one fresh face (Kate Jackson, giving off some enchanting, mysterious charisma). It's a cross between "The Love Boat" and "Murder, She Wrote", yet it does predate both and was fairly intriguing for its time. Seen today, it's a tacky hoot, although there is a neat twist at the finish line. As TV-movies go: ** from ****

This is a pretty decent movie of the week from the Spelling-Goldberg production house. This movie is pretty much like Murder, She Wrote, which came out ten years later. Michael Constantine does a pretty decent job as the ship's doctor, who also happens to be an amateur detective and the cast, which is made up of many of the top stars of the small screen at the time did a pretty credible job playing the victims. Also, this happens to be one of the final appearances of Richard Long, who would die a few months later.

Every time this movie used to re-air on late night TV in the late 70s and early 80s I would always make time to sit in front of the TV and watch it. To see the lovely Kate Jackson, handsome Richard Long, the "great" Polly Bergen whom I've never seen anywhere else except for this TV movie, the endearing Tom Bosley, and another "great" whom I've never seen outside this movie, Celeste Holme. This is truly the love boat on a cruise to murder and mayhem and boy was it ever good!! And every time I would watch it I would always forget who the real murderer was.

As expected, someone here is already criticizing the movie as if that really is a big help to anyone. This is a great TV movie and worth watching each and every time. I can't say that about half the movies I've seen this month.

If you ever get a chance to watch it on TV someday, which isn't likely, watch it. In light of "The Girl Most Likely To" finally coming out this year on DVD, maybe there's hope for a DVD release of "Death Cruise."