Simon, King of the Witches

What IS going on in this film? I dunno, but I kinda liked it. Andrew Prine (BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD) is a storm drain-dwelling modern-day warlock who uses his powers to do bad things. He becomes involved with the district attorney's daughter and low-life drug dealers. In one scene, he faces the QUEEN of the Witches. If you like '70s pseudo-witchcraft nonsense served with a nice dose of psychedelic visuals, incoherent plotting and some nudity, SIMON KING OF THE WITCHES might be well worth your time.

I found this movie a little disappointing because I fell for the original advertising and was under the impression that 70's cult actor Andrew Prine would be playing a Manson-like cult leader. Instead Prine's character, Simon, is an actual warlock, although obviously not a very good one since has to live in the LA storm sewers. He also doesn't have much of a cult, just one dumb kid who follows him around like a puppy. At one point he does seduce a rich politician's daughter, but he is mostly interested in using her to cast a spell and has sex with her only as an afterthought. There is also a surprising homosexual subtext for a movie made at that time (although it is balanced out with abundant female nudity).

The movie is really only half-serious. The tone is often pretty campy. Prine is good, but he often seems to be poking fun at his own character. He is actually much more entertaining when he plays these kind of characters straight. Technically, this is probably a better movie than "Centerfold Girls", "Nightmare Circus" or other Prine vehicles, but I still maintain Prine would have made a great Charles Manson.

It is a very odd 70's movie and I watched (parts of) it again recently after many years. What makes it unique is that it is the only movie that portrays the life of a magician in a realistic way. This is especially true for those who have been into the occult for a long time. Besides from that, it was also well acted and the story quite interesting in other ways. So it's highly recommended for those who wants to now what the life of a occultist is really like. How it becomes, the pitfalls, and the consequences that can follow from doing certain things. The name of the character is also a hint of what kind of magician he really is. Still one (at least I did) roots for him for most of the movie.

Talented veteran Andrew Prine is featured here in one of his delicious starring roles in 1970s exploitation. This is bizarre, trippy stuff certain to appeal to cult movie enthusiasts. Granted, it's pretty talky stuff, but it's still rather fascinating.

Written by a real-life practicing warlock, Robert Phippeny, it casts Prine as Simon Sinestrari, a charismatic "magician" who lives out of a storm drain. Simon is the real deal, and takes himself quite seriously. Seriously enough that when people dare to mock him or mess with him, he takes his revenge.

As directed by Bruce Kessler, this is truly offbeat from beginning to end. It saves all of its credits for the final few minutes, a practice that was far less common back in the early 70s. When Simon first makes his entrance, he addresses us directly, although this device is dropped right afterwards. It's got a deliberate pace, but Phippeny's dialogue is truly something to hear. There is a heavy dose of humour at times, especially when Simon has to help his eager young friend Turk (George Paulsin), who's gotten overly stimulated, if you know what I mean. Highlight sequences include Simon mocking the participants in a Wiccan ceremony, and the wonderful finale which pulls out all the stops.

The main attraction is a fantastic central performance by Prine, who commits deeply to his role. Co-starring are Brenda Scott (to whom Prine was actually married) as Simons' love interest, Norman Burton as her attorney father, and Gerald York as aging hipster Hercules, with underground celebrity Ultra Violet also making an appearance.

This is just enough of a curio to keep you watching. Undoubtedly it's very much a product of its era, but that's part of what makes it fairly compelling. You sure don't see stuff like this getting made nowadays.

Seven out of 10.

While in jail, Simon (Andrew Prine) meets a man and takes him back to his homey storm drain (!), and introduces him to the dark arts. In return, the man takes Simon to a party where he sells trinkets and amulets to the guests and bewitches a woman.

When someone tries to rip Simon off, he uses his hoodoo on him, which ultimately escalates into Simon's one-man war against the police, the mayor, and the entire city.

SIMON, KING OF THE WITCHES contains: #1- Hocus pocus AND mumbo jumbo! #2- Chicken AND human sacrifice! #3- A magic mirror! #4- Effluvium! #5- Awesome silk robes AND red underwear! #6- Full-frontal female nudity! #7- Hippie lingo! #8- The floating, red glob of doom!

BEST BITS: #1- The red glob of doom killing a man with a flower pot! #2- Simon's bizarre visit with the Queen of the Witches!

This is all supremely, insanely good fun!...