The Slowest Gun in the West

"The Slowest Gun in the West" was a pilot for a TV series that wasn't picked up by the networks. After seeing it, I could easily see why...it was terrible.

The town of Primrose is filled with evil gunmen and a nasty boss (Bruce Cabot). However, the townsfolk want the place to be a nice place to live and keep hiring sheriff after sheriff--and they get killed one after another. One day, an abject coward, The Silver Dollar Kid (Phil Silvers) comes into town and the townsfolk get an idea--hire this annoying guy because he's such a coward that the gunmen won't kill him because they don't want to be known as the guy who murdered a totally yellow guy(?). And, using lots of anachronistic and annoying ways, the new sheriff brings peace to the land.

The show has three huge problems. The biggest is the ever-present and annoying laugh track. The other is that while this idea MIGHT have worked, it certainly wasn't enough to support a series. Additionally, Silvers and his shtick was 100% annoying and became grating as the show progressed. Overall, a rather dopey idea that just didn't work.

I have never liked canned laughter and it certainly did not help here. Yes, I do like "Gilligan's Island".

Like viewing the burlesque skits of old Vaudeville, one can intellectually understand that something should be funny, once was, but today it will just miss the mark. I wanted to like this as so many well rounded performers took part in the effort. After viewing this made for TV film I remember seeing it when it originally aired, I did not then find it funny, yet I appreciate why it should elicit a smile. I watched because I recall, as a child, some of the humour of the "Phil Silvers Show" - that was the 1950's, it is now 2008 and the bloom is off the rose.

This was an amusing comedy which I believe was shown the during the summer of 1960. The show was about how Phil Silvers was cleaning up a crime ridden town in the old west, sometimes using methods that were...shall we say a little anachronistic. In one sequence he ruins a young gunslinger by convincing him that his dependence on his two six-shooters was based on an unhappy childhood deprived of his toys. You hear him shooting it out, and as he stumbles out of the building, he looks at his two guns and mutters (in happy tears), "My Teddy Bears!" The bad guys hire Jack Benny to bring down the cowardly Silvers, only to hire his criminal opposite number. Benny and Silvers ended the show in the most preposterous show-down in western history. To prove their superiority over the other they have to be more cowardly - so each yells "You draw first!" to the other. We watch them in place with the town growing up around them. Only at the tail end of the show do we see who won the show-down.

This is an innovative and hilarious western starring veteran comedians Jack Benny and Phil Silvers. The town of Primrose, Arizona is filled with outlaws. In desperation, the law-abiding townspeople hire the cowardly Fletcher Bissell III (aka The Silver Dollar Kid, played by Silvers) as their new sheriff. The townsfolk are convinced that law and order will be restored because the local outlaws will be too proud to gun Bissell down. This proves to be the case, because none of the outlaws wants to ruin his reputation by being "the man who gunned down The Silver Dollar Kid." In retaliation, the outlaws hire their own cowardly gunfighter, Chicken Finsterwald (Benny), to go up against The Silver Dollar Kid. Finsterwald's "style" of gunning people down theretofore amounted to knocking out an old lady's cane in a dark alley and shooting her in the back. Despite pressure from the townspeople and outlaws, both Finsterwald and The Kid manage to avoid confrontation until the final, surprising showdown in the street.

Benny and Silvers are at their best in this one, with Silvers' wisecracking and Benny's low-keyed, self-effacing humor and deadpanned looks. Great support work is provided by veteran heavies Ted DeCorsia, Jack Elam, and Lee van Cleef. The dialogue is smooth and never forced, probably due to a combination of such a "veteran" cast and a good script. Nat Hiken wrote and produced this film. TV buffs will recall that he wrote, produced and directed "The Phil Silvers Show" in the 1950s and "Car 54, Where Are You?" in the 1960s.

This is a movie the whole family can enjoy. The movie was made for television and I do not know if it is available on videocassette. I highly recommend it.

I think I can see why The Slowest Gun In The West was not picked up as a pilot. It might have been hard to come up with reasons why someone did not shoot Phil Silvers despite the plot premise that any self respecting gunfighter would have been laughed at for killing such a coward. It's a variation on the premise of the Abbott&Costello classic The Wistful Widow Of Wagon Gap.

Nevertheless this is a pretty funny pilot film especially when the bad guys go find their own cowardly gunslinger in the person of Jack Benny to face Silvers.

A whole lot of western film heavies get to appear in this but as comic foils for Silvers and Benny. Worth watching for them alone.